Category: Boldness in adversity

Don’t Allow Fear to Destroy Your Peace

by Linda Russell, posted in Boldness in adversity, Consider trials pure joy!, fear, God's plan, Humility, life's trials, peace, Trusting God, Whining to God

“Peace is that brief, glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.” (source unknown.)

Here she comes – Miss America! There she goes to save the Coastal California Gnatcatcher, repair a broken nail, and, of course, bring peace to the world. And how about those hippies back in the 1960s with their mantra of peace and love (not to mention sex, drugs, and rock & roll)? Maybe we shouldn’t doubt the good intentions of anyone who claims to advocate peace.  

Only one Nobel Peace Prize is awarded each year,and, unless I’ve missed something, I don’t believe that world peace, or any lasting peace, has ever come with the prize. Of course, it’s a very big world. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are seven billion people worldwide, more than two billion of whom are Christians. So how can this be such a violent place when it’s home to two billion Christians? Surely, two billion Christians could’ve changed the world by now! Why aren’t we making a greater impact?

The Heart of the Matter

Where does peace begin? How about violence? Are they hatched at peace rallies, do they spring forth during the heat of battle, or are they created in our hearts? Consider how different this world would be if every one of us lived the virtue of peace within our own hearts! Matthew tells us, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things” (Luke 6:45).

We shake our fists at the injustice and violence that are out there, but deny the violence within. We cannot know peace or offer it to others until we’re able to face our own brokenness – our own need for God’s healing and grace. I was good at shaking my fist at the injustices in the world, all while inflicting my own injustices on others. Why? Because I had no peace in my heart, which was filled instead with anger, fear, and pride.

“Peace I Leave with You, My Peace I Give to You” (John 14:27)

How beautiful Jesus’ words sound, yet we find very little success in our attempts to make peace a reality in our lives. In fact, the struggle seems so daunting that we often settle for a very limited version of peace: an occasional moment of calm in the midst of our troubled lives. That was how I coped for years. Frustration would prompt me to seek God’s intervention, but I wasn’t actually interested in peace with the people in my life. I wanted to be able to inflict “justice” on those I felt were stealing my peace.

Sometimes we think we have peace. “Whew! My husband is going fishing with the guys. I’ll have two whole days of peace.” Or “My kids have stopped fighting. There’s finally peace in the house.” Maybe your controlling mother-in-law mercifully moves out of town, or that tyrannical boss may be transferred to a distant city. But those examples don’t constitute peace. They’re merely the absence of war.

Can you recognize the difference between a peaceful person and someone who’s simply stifling his emotions? That’s the kind of person who attempts to control himself enough to give the appearance of peace, but he’s not fooling anybody. I know. That was me.

I always had public and private personas. In my private life, everything was out of control, though publicly I acted as if the opposite were true. But my kids invariably gave me away – usually in church or in the middle of the grocery store. That was when my amateur ventriloquist skills would kick in. Smiling through clenched teeth and with a death grip on the offender’s arm, I would quietly threaten, “Either you knock it off, or there’ll be hell to pay when I get you home!” Obviously, “peace” was not flowing like a river. This river was a maelstrom of anger, fear, discontent, and pride. 

What, then, is the key to peace? It’s humility, and I can’t wait to tell you why. This is where I get to expose my dark side to you. So let’s begin with the anger.

Anger: A Double-Edged Sword

I’ve lived with anger all my life and, since childhood, have cowered behind it when threatened by bullies. The parent bully, the teacher bully, the neighborhood bully, the checker at the grocery store bully. I’ve always considered myself a victim. But there’s no justification for lashing out with angry words that are embedded in someone’s heart. 

When I was a child, my outbursts generally involved slamming doors and mumbling “I hate you!” under my breath. As I withdrew more and more into myself, I began to feel invisible. My longing for recognition became fertile soil for the anger that was festering inside me. Later, when I had outgrown parental control I gave myself the freedom to express anger without fear of punishment. With each outburst, I was essentially screaming, “Pay attention to me!” – and I was oblivious to anyone’s feelings other than my own.

Do I believe that anger is always wrong? No, I think that misplaced anger is. As people who never express their anger fail to understand, inner anger has to go somewhere. It has to be dealt with. A person may look composed, but on the inside, there could be a pressure cooker destined to explode – or to implode, in the form of ulcers, cancer, stroke, or heart attack. There’s no peace in denial, just as there’s no peace in exploding into unjustified and unrighteous anger.

Sometimes God is angry with us, and he doesn’t mince words when that happens. In many verses throughout Scripture, he admonishes his people, calling them liars, adulterers, idolaters, and self-righteous fools. As he said to Judah, “For you have kindled a fire in my anger which shall burn forever” (Jeremiah 17:4).

So what’s the difference between God’s anger and mine? It’s a case of righteous versus unrighteous anger. Unrighteous anger is the outward expression of unmet needs. When fear is the underlying emotion that sets us off, the anger is dangerous and hurtful. In the Bible, the Book of Nahum says, “He avenges his foes. He stands up against his enemies, fierce and raging. But God doesn’t lose his temper. He’s powerful, but it’s a patient power” (Nahum 1:2-3 – The Message). Anger is not permissible when it turns to aggression, and that aggression is fueled by fear, frustration, or a sense of inadequacy.

We need to accept that anger is a learned behavior, not a genetic trait. My mousy brown and grey hair, which I’m forever trying to cover up, is genetic. My behavior, which I’m forever trying to cover up, isn’t. Unrighteous anger is violence against others. It’s the suffering and death of Jesus at the hands of an angry mob. It’s a frightened child cowering in the dark. It strews victims everywhere. 

When I realized God’s unconditional love for me, my anger began to subside – yet something continued to rob me of his peace. Fear was so deeply embedded in the very depths of my being that it freely manifested itself in every area of my life. Even though I was no longer railing constantly at every perceived threat, fear was still wreaking havoc in my life, albeit with greater subtlety, and of course, fear is Satan’s most powerful and creative tool.

Since we’re afraid of our own brokenness, we expend tremendous energy denying it, covering it up, or justifying it. Any time we strike out at someone else, or whenever we curse our circumstances, we’re motivated by fear – fear of losing control or of feeling invisible, unwanted, unloved. Can you name your fears? Can you admit that you have any?

Who’s Your Boogie Man?

Growing up, I was afraid of everything, yet somehow I seemed to be scared of nothing. Whenever my dad paddled me, I didn’t cry. When my teachers disciplined me, I feigned indifference. Back then, teachers were allowed to inflict corporal punishment on their students, and they did!

My first-grade teacher used to have me sit under her desk when I misbehaved, which gave me the opportunity to entertain my fan club by sticking my head out of my jail and making faces. My second-grade teacher spanked me, and my third-grade teacher regularly whacked me with a ruler. I was a class clown on the outside and a frightened child on the inside. I thought that drawing attention to myself was crucial to preserving my fragile ego.

The sixth grade presented me with an interesting means of gaining attention without enduring physical pain. By impressing my peers with my vast knowledge about sex, I developed, at the age of twelve or thirteen, my very first feelings of power and acceptance. Never mind the fact that I had no idea what I was talking about. None of us had any knowledge about sex, but we were curious. So I stepped into that gap. I became the facts-of-life expert. 

My classmates were responsive and eager to learn from me, so at recess we would gather for my no-holds-barred sex-education class. When I think of all the young minds that I warped back then, I’m pretty much aghast. For instance, I wonder how many girls were too terrified to kiss boys while menstruating because I’d warned them that they’d get pregnant that way. Somewhere out there, someone is cursing the day she met me!

Fear: God’s Nemesis

God continually tells us not to fear anything.

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God” (Isaiah 41:10).

“…then, as the Lord lives, there is safety for you and no harm” (1 Samuel 20:21).

“In God I have put my trust; I will not fear” (Psalm 56:4).

The only way to live a fearless life is by forming a relationship with God. I have never felt protected by anyone in my life. It wasn’t until I learned to trust in God’s protection that the truth about fear was made manifest to me. Satan, in all his trickery and deceit, is rendered powerless by the light of God’s love.

Have you ever stayed up all night, worried and afraid? Remember how you couldn’t eat, couldn’t think? Remember how irritable and short-tempered you were? So tell me something: how much did all that agonizing help? Not much? Well, it’s not what God wants for us, as Matthew reminds us in a very familiar story:

The disciples were in a boat out in the middle of the sea, and the wind and waves were fierce. When they suddenly saw someone walking on the water, they were understandably scared out of their wits. In fact, they thought it must be a ghost, but it was Jesus, who urged them not to be afraid. Impressed, Peter decided that he’d like to do the same thing. So Jesus told him to step out of the boat, which he did, and he was fine as long as he was focused on Jesus. As soon as he looked away, though, he began to sink, crying out, “Lord, save me!” And this was the man whom Jesus would be entrusting with the keys to heaven? At that moment, though, with the ravenous water closing in around him, Peter wasn’t trying to impress anybody. He wasn’t trying to save face. He was trying to save his sorry behind. He knew who to call on when he was in trouble!

Fear has no teeth when we put our trust in God – and I don’t mean when we know the outcome. Yet we function so poorly on trust alone. Instead, we dig in our heels and refuse to budge. If we don’t know for sure what’s happening around the corner, we stay put. Fear denies us the fullness of life that God has promised. 

If you’re still satisfied with your entrenched self, consider this scenario. Imagine that, when God called me to graduate school, I blabbed the news to all my friends and family members, then failed miserably and whined about my failure to everybody. Then imagine that God called one of them to do something extraordinary. Would she do it? Of course not. After witnessing my dismal failure, she’d surely decline the invitation. “No thanks. I’m good. I saw how that played out for Linda!”

However, God isn’t going to allow us to make him look bad. We can trust him to fulfill his plans for our lives in ways that we never could’ve imagined. And if Mary and Jesus didn’t need to know the eventual outcomes of their commitments to God, then neither do we.

Contentment Isn’t Out of Reach

Is it really possible to remain content in the midst of difficult circumstances? Or does your life have to be perfect before you can be happy? Do you need to run away from home and responsibilities, live in seclusion on some primitive island, eat coconuts and wild berries, soak up the sun all day, and laze in the tropical breezes at sunset? Wait. This is beginning to sound pretty good! Oops…sorry.

As far back as I can remember, I was never content. I was never satisfied with anything. I never had enough money or nice clothes. I wasn’t smart enough. I wasn’t thin enough. I wasn’t popular enough. My teeth weren’t straight enough. My hair wasn’t blonde enough. 

I spent a long time in the desert just like the Isrealites, and I didn’t have any fun there. When I was in the midst of it, though, I couldn’t see it for what it was. I had to have things. I had a beautiful home, new cars, and a swimming pool; shopping was my favorite pastime. Whenever I felt down, I’d treat myself to a new outfit or two, or three. Occasionally, I’d throw in a little trinket for my husband (as a nod to my guilty conscience!), but he was never allowed to buy me clothes. I mean, he once bought himself a polyester leisure suit. Enough said?

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives” (John 14:27)

Our peace is stolen from us every time we lose sight of God, every time we allow others to define us. Only God can define us! “This is my beloved son/daughter in whom I am well pleased” (Matt 3:17). You were made in the image and likeness of God; no one and nothing on earth can rob you of your birthright.

Only Man/Woman can Prove that God is Love

by Linda Russell, posted in A Holy Whack, Boldness in adversity, Do Something, Does god control?, For such a time as this, If not us, then who?, standing on Holy ground, the suffering need our care
I’m taking this out of storage!

We are currently in the midst of incredibly challenging times. This is a truth that some may only whisper, perhaps in the hopes that it will all fade away. However, the reality is that it won’t. So, in the face of this reality, how do we move forward with any hope for our children and grandchildren’s future?

I believe it must begin with God – and acknowledging the fact that many doubt he even cares. It conjures up an image of him sitting in his heaven, feeling rejected by humanity and giving up on the whole lot of us. All while smacking his head and rethinking that “free will” idea of his.

Archibald MacLeish, an American poet and writer, powerfully explains what God may have hoped for by refusing to control us, “Man depends on God for all things: God depends on man for one. Without man’s love, God does not exist as God…and love is the one thing no one, not even God himself, can command. It’s either a free gift, or it’s nothing. And it is most itself, most free, when it is offered in spite of suffering, of injustice, and of death.” 

Do MacLeish’s words resonate with you? They certainly do with me. But believe me, I tried to deny that truth for a long time as I continuously prayed for God to “fix” this broken world and the people in my life who made me miserable. It never worked. Even though I believed my suffering was created by other people that I desperately wanted to control. Can you relate?

Well, dear ones, take heart because this broken ground we stand on is holy ground, and we are called to stay put, no matter how hard it seems. We are called to stand on that hilltop and emulate the LOVE that is God. We are to boldly and without apology declare that God has not abandoned us but is in our midst, cheering us on for the sake of his kingdom.

But the love of God will not manifest if we merely sing his praises in church to get that “I showed up every Sunday” card punched. God isn’t interested in our praises. He longs for us to show up in the midst of the brokenness that surrounds us and love those who suffer. If that seems scary, it’s understandable.

Think of the Desert Monks who went off into the wilderness and lived in caves. They prayed A LOT for the brokenness of the world, and I’m sure God loved their prayers. But I prefer to focus on why he sent Jesus into the world. It surely was meant as a wake-up call for us to come out of hiding. Just sayin’.

Yes, Jesus also went into the desert to pray when things were tough, but he didn’t stay there!  He offered his prayers to God, accepted his fate, and came out swinging! Remember that whole table-tossing event?

I believe that’s what God is calling us to do now:  to do what we can to care for the most innocent, those without a voice, those who suffer. This is no time to fret or worry about the outcome; there’s too much at stake.

It will likely be challenging and perhaps dangerous, but as that ever-pressing question goes, “If not us, then who?”

Like my hero, Esther, who knew she was called to a fate that would likely end her life. And her response? “WOOHOO, I will go, and, oh well, if I die, I die!” Okay, she probably wasn’t that thrilled, but she was determined to fulfill her purpose, and that should be our response to God’s call for us.

Oh, you don’t believe God has spoken to you about that? This may be where self-critical thinking is required. Is it possible you’re not listening? Is it possible you’re spending too much time whining and complaining about how others are making your life miserable, and you’re just sitting and waiting for God to take care of that first?  Then you’ll consider moving beyond your own selfish longings in the comfort of your shallow existence? Sorry, I guess that was mean. But is it true?

I know it was true for me for longer than I care to admit. And here’s the sad reality of that: my being so angry and hateful toward those who hurt me over so many years was probably worse in some instances than the injustices of others toward me.

My own actions likely provoked some of that. Like the time I threw a bar stool at a wall to get my husband’s attention! Yeah, I did that, and it worked for a millisecond. But I’m not proud of it and never used it on a resume as an example of my creative leadership skills!

No, I was not innocent and denied my own sinful behavior towards them. Of course, there would never be healing in our relationships until I was able to admit that. I needed to seek and offer forgiveness before healing was possible. Not wait for someone else to take the first step.

Healing the wounds of the world must begin by first repairing our personal relationships. Because if I claim to love God but do not love my neighbor, I am a liar, a noisy, clanging symbol (1 John 4:20). Ouch.

Jesus: I’m Back! Did You Miss Me?

by Linda Russell, posted in Boldness in adversity, Consider trials pure joy!, Easter, Energized by hope, fear, Lent, Good Friday, Easter, the Pascal Mystery, Resurrection
(I couldn’t find the source of this image)

I think it’s fair to say that this Easter will be like no other, and I would like to think of that as a good thing – eventually – hopefully. For sure, we are bombarded daily with news that is frightening for us and the world around us. We struggle to see any good coming out of it. But, stay with me here.

I’m going to assume that this Easter’s preparations will likely be stripped of the non-essentials we always focused on in the past: new outfits, haircuts, hidden eggs. Although a review of proper behavioral expectations for the kids at church, “how to stay awake” for adults, and making up tiny sins suitable to hide the deeper embarrassing stuff for the annual confession may still be in order.

So, in light of where we’re at in this fearful and uncertain time, how about we take a new look with fresh eyes at the unfolding of Easter week? And remember, it was also a week that revealed humanity at its worst and its best. What might that mean for us today?

We begin with Palm Sunday. Those crowds were lovin’ on Jesus the Prophet on his way to becoming their anticipated King who would finally save them. Christ was celebrated as the One who would bring his people out of captivity. They were enthralled with him. The cheering was almost deafening, sorta like opening day at Busch Stadium. But, remember, these were his faithful followers, and it was all palms and rose petals.

Then it all went sideways as he went to Jerusalem to encounter a not-so-supportive crowd. What a different picture, huh? Here he’s among the political elite, the leaders of the temple, who know enough about him by now to fear and hate him.

So, the chief priests and elders meet to plot against him. They know they have to get him away from his faithful followers first. “But not during the Feast,” they said, “or there may be a riot among the people.” (Matthew 26: 3-5).

And how about those disciples who vowed never to leave him at the height of his ministry? We know James and John made it clear they wanted to have an honored place next to him when he came into his glory (Mark 10:35-37). Perhaps the rest thought they already had that favored position all sewn up. But then they all scattered and ran for cover when he was taken away to be crucified. “This is not what we signed up for!”

In very short order, He was convicted and dragged before an angry crowd who screamed for his crucifixion, and they probably didn’t even know why. How many do you suppose just got caught up in the moment and didn’t realize until afterward what they had participated in – the torture and murder of an innocent man they would later discover was PRETTY SPECIAL?

Then at the Cross on Good Friday, we watch horrified as Jesus suffers an unspeakable death, and his mother suffers in silence.

On Saturday, the waiting begins as we are called to silently contemplate what has happened. But, unlike the disciples, we already know that his glorious resurrection is coming. We used to believe that peace on earth would prevail. But now that truth seems to have been morphed by fear and the unknown.

So, will our waiting for Jesus’ return now be spent like all the rest these past few weeks trying to numb ourselves to what we imagine is coming instead? Where’s the peace in that?

We usually only have the capacity to think our hearts are at peace when everything is perfect: our relationships are perfect, our kids are perfect, and the mother-in-law moved away (oops, not nice). But even, or especially, in these times when fear will try to overwhelm you, don’t let that happen!

Take heart because the resurrection is only a day away. God is ready to prove to you that nothing and no one has the power to thwart his plans for us. He wants us to believe in the depth of our hearts that his love for us will never fail and that we are stronger, braver, and more resilient than we ever imagined! (Which will come in handy when your mother-in-law has to move back in with you).

As Alan Cohen tells us in his book, A Course in Miracles Made Easy, “No person, group, situation, or condition has the power to take away your happiness. NO ONE. NO THING. NEVER. The experience of joy is your God-given right. People can try to remove your happiness, but they cannot remove your peace unless you give them that power.”

Let’s not forget that the waiting on Saturday for the disciples was stressful, to say the least! They all sat with regret knowing they did the unthinkable by abandoning Jesus and running away. Did they wish they could have a do-over? I would think they must have.

I think I read somewhere that at that fish fry, Jesus reminded them of the Last Supper, “Hey guys remember the great time we had then?” – since they all seemed to have forgotten. “Remember how I washed your nasty feet?” Then he reiterated his call to them to love one another (John 13:34). “And just so we’re clear…that was not a suggestion.” I wonder if any of them choked on their food at that point.

Now, what about us? Here we are, kind of like the disciples, in the midst of what is surely one of the most uncertain times of our lives. And, funny thing, God is still here, still loving and merciful and compassionate. But where are we? Big question.

How many of us have been running from him all our lives? Oh sure, we have been going through the motions of being a “Christian,” mostly to impress others. But what have we done as Christ’s followers? How have we been Christ to others?

So, this Easter, maybe more than ever, we need to let the light of the Risen Christ shine in and through us for those who are lost and alone. That is God’s hope and greatest longing.“ “Look,” ”He says on Easter morning, “I never left you, and I never will. So, stop trying to hide from me. Let’s sit together and get to know each other. What else do you have to do?”

(anonymous)

I think that’s what God is trying to teach us so we can pass it on to others who have become frozen with fear. Just imagine what beauty, joy, and peace would be created in our lives and the lives of those around us!

THIS IS OUR TIME. THIS IS OUR CALL TO LOVE! AND WHO KNOWS BUT THAT WE WERE CREATED FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS (Esther 4:14).

AMEN AND HALLELUJAH!

THIS IS GONNA BE EPIC!!

HAVE A BLESSED AND JOYOUS EASTER, EVERYONE!

Empowering Faith in a Secular World

by Linda Russell, posted in Boldness in adversity, Countering Donald Trump, Do Something, dying for hope, End of Religion, Energized by hope, For such a time as this, hope after the 2024 election, loving others, Lukewarm Christian

There are several examples in the Old and New Testament of people abandoning God and going their own way to do their own thing. Probably most notable for us is when Jesus was hauled away in the midst of his disciples – his friends – to be crucified. They instantly and collectively decided that was not something they signed up for and ran like hell.

Of course, the good news is that they came back stronger and more determined to follow Jesus’ example of God’s love for a broken world. This time they would not turn back. This time they would willingly die for him. And to that end, all but John became mortars. How do their lives compare with ours today? Well, the abandoning Jesus part lines up.

How did we get here?

Let’s start with statistics from the Pew Research Center: Today, about 28% of U.S. adults are religiously unaffiliated, describing themselves as atheists, agnostics, or “nothing in particular” when asked about their religion. In our latest data, 17% of “nones” identify as atheists, 20% say they are agnostic, and 63% choose “nothing in particular.”

Why?

When asked why they are not religious, two-thirds say they question a lot of religious teachings mainly because they don’t see those teachings lived out, or they don’t believe in God. “Many also bring up criticisms of religious institutions or people, including 47% who say that one extremely or very important reason why they are not religious is that they dislike religious organizations. And 30% say bad experiences they’ve had with religious people help explain why they are nonreligious.”

So, that doesn’t leave much more to dislike besides uncomfortable pews and bad music.

If you want to geek out on the research, here’s the link: https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2024/01/24/religious-nones-in-america-who-they-are-and-what-they-believe/

So, why does it matter?

Many researchers that have followed the attitudes of Gen Z’s, and Millennials in particular, believe it is linked decisively to Donald Trump’s election in 2016 and even more so in 2024.

I believe that if we have any chance of restoring care and compassion for each other and for those God calls us to love: the weak and vulnerable, we must open our hearts to those who have lost their way.

Matt. 5-14-16 tells us: “Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.”

How do we do that?

I’m glad you asked. It’s not going to be easy because we have to start with our own understanding of God’s love and what he is calling us to, and then have the courage and conviction it will require.

Let me share a bit of my own story that might help. Thirty years ago – give or take – I was a Youth Minister. Each year, the school allowed us to speak to the seventh graders about the Youth Program and invite them to come. We would have an initial event to start the year. I knew some of the boys came because there were girls there, and visa-versa.

I didn’t care what got them there. I just hoped we could offer them something special that would keep them there. To that end, we offered two big events during the year, and they both had to do with serving others.

On Thanksgiving Day, we went to a church in the inner city and delivered meals to the poor. Then, during the summer, we went to Georgia for a week-long service project, helping paint and fix up homes in the poorer areas of a community. It was a huge endeavor that brought large numbers of kids from several states together. Every night we gathered for prayer and celebration. Our kids were blown away by all of it!

But, here’s the beautiful part: The result of those two experiences didn’t end there. The kids shared the impact on their own lives. Thanksgiving had a whole new meaning for them. When we came back from Georgia they couldn’t get enough of opportunities to serve their own community. They would come up with things to do. For example: we started what we called “Rake and Run”. We would go to the homes of the elderly, rake their leaves, bag them, and sneak away (they loved the sneaking away part!)

For years, I have watched kids sit in church bored to tears – if they actually showed up. I’ve seen some parents drop them off at church and leave. Some of those kids didn’t even go inside. Youth programs were few and far between. Like the adults, they were just expected to go for that hour to get their card punched. Like that would somehow magically convert them into lovers of Christ and become His “hands and feet” in this broken world.

Making a change will not be easy or quick

Our country is overrun by heathens who are already wreaking havoc and will continue to destroy everything in their path. God only knows where it will end and how many innocent people will suffer. But, I do know this: if we care, we must step out with courage and conviction that comes from God alone.

This is not a time for fear, anger, or timidity. It’s a time for action! It’s a time to live the Beatitudes as God intended:

Being Poor in Spirit means to act with humility not hatred.

Mourning – calls us to recognize our sins and the sins of others. Not only the sin of hatred that we harbor in our hearts but also the sin of culpability when we excuse the sins of others – to have the courage to call them out.  

Meekness – does not mean weakness, but to be submissive to the will of God, who calls us to love others.

Hunger and Thirst for Righteousness – this is a call not only for us to hunger for God, but as Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, and so many others, we are called beyond a hunger and thirst for God within ourselves, but also directed out to those who suffer.

Merciful – not simply feeling compassion for others in need. True, deep, inner compassion calls us outward to service and care for the most vulnerable.

Pure in Heart – not only speaks to what we do as believers but why we do it. The why informs our motivation.

Peacemaker – bringing people back to God, not by our words, but by our example.

Persecuted for Righteousness – If I am persecuted by others for loving and serving God then I am right where He wants me.

Are you ready?

God’s waiting for our response. He’s counting on us, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the examples of those in the trenches and those who have gone before us, like John Lewis, “Never, ever be afraid to make some noise and get in good trouble, necessary trouble.”

Okay, I’m ready. Let’s do this!

The Journey to Realness: Transforming Pain into Beauty

by Linda Russell, posted in AHA moments, Boldness in adversity, Consider trials pure joy!, embrace change, forgiveness, grace, Healing, Humility, life's trials, occasions of grace, Our Imperfection, Uncategorized

I have wasted a great deal of time lamenting my aging body. If I ever had ambitions of being a swimsuit model, that’s off the table. You’re welcome!

The wrinkles and bags seem to multiply by the day. It’s why I never want my picture taken. I figured that when I die, and my kids put together that poster board of memories, the “latest” photo of me will be a Glamour Shot from thirty years ago!

Every seasonal change prompts me to donate clothes I don’t wear, haven’t worn for the past ten years, and will likely never fit into again. When I’m finished, the “pile” of items usually consists of a pair of socks someone gave me for Christmas. That’s it. Because – well – maybe I’ll lose weight next year. Hope springs eternal!

My frequent adventures into reality never end well, as they usually prompt me to eat copious amounts of chocolate! Until yesterday, when I read a meditation by my all-time favorite author and human, Kate Bowler. It was titled “Becoming Real”, in which she shares her creation of the “Gospel of the Velveteen Rabbit.” It brought me to tears – good and bad.

Bowler tells us how sad the rabbit is because he’s so worn from being drug around through life. He’s become tattered and torn and fears he’ll be cast aside. No longer his beautiful, fluffy, shiny self. His buddy, the Skin Horse, who’s been around much longer and is much wiser, tells him, “That’s how you become real.”

Bowler explains, “We become real through our wear and tear. By healing from the cruelty we didn’t deserve. By being loved imperfectly and loving imperfectly. In both, we change and keep changing. As the Skin Horse explains, ‘Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off (check), and your eyes drop out (kinda), and you get loose in the joints and very shabby (check and check). But these things don’t matter because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.’”

As I reflected on this meditation about the beauty of “being Real,” I realized how much I have focused on the wrong things. I spent so much time lamenting my childhood, the abuse of my mother, the sexual abuse, feelings of being invisible because none of my teachers ever questioned my acting out in school, and an attempted suicide in my twenties. I never allowed myself to see the inner beauty that has made me “Real.”

The transformation of a self-centered, angry, lost little girl to the person God created me to be from the beginning should be a cause for celebration! Has that erased all the bad memories? No. But it has helped relegate them to the past, where they no longer affect my sense of who I am, my worth, and my dignity.

I would not be caring or thoughtful of myself or others, drawn towards serving others, or know how much I have to be grateful for had I not accepted this journey. Even with all its rough patches and dark places, it has made me more joyful and fulfilled than I ever could have imagined.

Oh, believe me, I have many moments of admonition from God when I screw up. More than I care to admit. But my heart is open to seeing my faults and correcting them quickly. I can only do that through a newfound humility and the grace of God.

Finding Peace in Uncertainty: Trusting God

by Linda Russell, posted in "Experiencing" God, Boldness in adversity, Does god control?, life's trials, surrender

When your family is happy and healthy, your job seems secure, and the bills are paid –When everyone is doing what you demand, and no one challenges you – you’re certain your life is under control, and you have yourself to thank.

Life is good; God is in his heaven where he belongs, and that’s where you want him to stay. You’ve got this. You’re doing just fine. Thanks.

Then the bottom falls out: someone gets out of line and upsets your “plans”. Someone you love becomes desperately ill and dies. You lose your job and your security. You watch the murder of innocent children on the daily news, and your most certain assumptions about life are shaken to the core. 

Everything is suddenly out of control, even the state of the country, which wasn’t even on your radar six months ago!

How did that happen? How will you handle it? Where do you turn? My guess is that you will fall apart, like I nearly did, and probably shake your fist at God in the process. You’re certain he could fix it if he wanted to, but he hasn’t, and that’s why you don’t trust him. Never mind that you’re doing a sucky job of controlling it yourself! Just sayin’.

So, You Dig In

Because you are now certain that God hasn’t got a clue or doesn’t care about what’s happening to you, to us, or to our world, you will take it upon yourself (as usual) to tell him how to fix things. You always have your list of demands on hand, so it requires little effort or thought to whip it out and shake it at him – like Santa with his naughty list.

But, what you will not do is fall on your knees in surrender to his will because surrender means defeat. It’s too risky and makes you vulnerable to a God you don’t trust in the first place.  

If the question of who’s in control has not been settled for you, then your life will be wrought with uncertainty and fear when it’s assaulted and overrun by pain and sorrow. You won’t be able to handle that because you have not dealt with it in the calmness of daily life. You can’t wait until you’re thrown overboard to learn to swim. Peter tried it, and look where it got him.

God’s Got This

No doubt you have heard on more than one occasion, usually in church, that God is in control, not you. If you thought about it at all, it would likely be in those desperate moments in life when you had to face the reality that you have no power over anything or anyone beyond yourself. If you were honest about it, you’re also failing miserably at that! Which is probably why God hasn’t reached out to you for advice. Recall his words to Job, “Stand down, buddy. I’ll let you know when I need your advice!”

How well I know this to be true in my own life, and how long I frantically tried to deny it because I believed my peace and happiness depended on me. No one had ever proven themselves to be trustworthy, so the only way I could protect my fragile heart was to deny access to it by anyone – even God – especially God. How often I cried out to him to explain to me where he was when I was a child and being abused. Then sat in silence for an answer.

Often, when we hear “God is in control,” we frame it in the context of the sadness and suffering in our lives and in the world where it’s easy enough to deny. What kind of God would allow such suffering? It’s much easier to believe that he plopped us down here and left us on our own, “There you go. Have a nice life. Good luck – you’re gonna need it!”

What is critical to look at, first of all, is our understanding of free will. Second, we have a belief that God causes pain and suffering. But God is not in control of our choices. Most people are basically good; some do evil things. It’s a choice we make. Please know that I am not saying that mental illness is not a determining factor in some people’s choices, especially choices that are beyond our comprehension. That’s not what we’re talking about here.

We cannot understand, or possibly even accept, the notion of free will if we believe that God causes bad things to happen. Often, in the midst of a tragedy, someone will ask, “Why did God allow that?” – Or “My brother died even though we prayed faithfully for God to save him.” But sickness happens, relationships fall apart, natural disasters occur, and death is inevitable.

Father Richard Rohr asks, “Do you realize with what difficulty surrender will come to a fixing, managing mentality? Nothing in that psyche is prepared to understand the spiritual wisdom of surrender. Pain teaches a most counterintuitive thing—that we must go down before we even know what up is. Suffering of some sort seems to be the only thing strong enough to destabilize our arrogance and our ignorance.”

God is Always at Work for our Good

But God will have the last word. He will use the tragedies in our lives for his glory. That truth cannot be denied when we witness the compassion of strangers on the daily news when disaster strikes somewhere in the world. Sadly, the nightly news usually only highlights extreme cases like hurricanes and mass shootings. But I assure you that every day, someone, somewhere, is quietly going out of their way to offer kindness to a stranger who will never make the news.

I love this recent story: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/boy-gets-shopping-spree-after-giving-away-one-dollar-kelvin-ellis-matt-busbice-louisiana/

I thank God daily that my peace, contentment, and joy are not dependent on me!   Surrendering our certitudes and obsessive need for answers in order to live our lives fully is the great paradox of our humanity. I believe that is what Jesus came to show us!

Those who suffer deeply, parents who have lost their precious children, the poor and the destitute, and those who know they are at the end of their broken lives have much to teach us about sorrow, and joy, and surrender. You see it, don’t you? In the aftermath of a terrible tragedy, something incomprehensible and beautiful unfolds. It’s God bursting into the hearts he created. Strangers reach out in love and compassion, families and neighbors draw closer together, and someone forgives the unforgivable. 

It’s a necessary reminder that it’s okay to surrender our incessant need to control because God makes all things new.

God calls us to trust him in all things. In Revelations 21:4-5 we’re assured that:

    He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.

Death will be no more.

Mourning no more, crying no more, pain no more.

    And that he will make all things new.

Blessings and Peace!

I am sharing this post in January 2025. I suppose it has been sitting quietly in a folder for some time, waiting for this moment. My hope is that it will offer you peace in these uncertain times. 

This is my prayer for you and your loved ones: (Numbers 6:24-26)

The Lord bless you

    and keep you;

the Lord make his face shine on you

    and be gracious to you;

the Lord turn his face toward you

    and give you peace.

Finding Hope in Crisis: Lessons from History

by Linda Russell, posted in Boldness in adversity, Do Something, Energized by hope, fear, God's plan, hope after the 2024 election, loving others, Uncategorized

The disciples constantly nagged Jesus to tell them what was coming and what to expect, like the proverbial question from our kids: “Are we there yet?!”

Jesus’s speaking to them in parables probably frustrated them even more. Those parables spoke to their unrelenting insistence on knowing what was coming and how to prepare. In Luke 21, Jesus simply tells them to be alert and wait for God to reveal his plan and purpose to them—all in due time. He tries to assure them that God is still in control, no matter how it seems.

Now, here we are, clutching our pearls since the election, certain the apocalypse is near! And just like the disciples, God calls us to the only assurance we need: He is still in control.

(Tenor GIF)

So, we all need to take a collective deep breath, exhale, and consider our reality in light of the work of those who are already moving to shore up our democracy and the words of those who have gone before us who fought the powers of evil in their own time. (I share an excellent resource at the end of this post)

Dr. Barbara Holmes offered her thoughts on the necessity of contemplation when a crisis arises: 

“The crisis begins without warning, shatters our assumptions about the way the world works, and changes our story and the stories of our neighbors. The reality that was so familiar to us is gone suddenly, and we don’t know what is happening….  

If life, as we experience it, is a fragile crystal orb that holds our daily routines and dreams of order and stability, then sudden and catastrophic crises shatter this illusion of normalcy. The crises … are usually precipitated by circumstances beyond the ordinary. I am referring to oppression, violence, pandemics, abuses of power, natural disasters, and planetary disturbances. 

Contemplation after or during crisis is a stillness in the aftermath of a primal scream, the abyss of unknowing, and the necessity of surviving the trauma together.”

So many of us are now in full crisis mode, and there is no telling how much worse it’s going to get over the coming years.

I believe people on both sides are dealing with their own life struggles. Fear and uncertainty are at the forefront of those concerns, and we can react differently to them. I get that.

The bottom line for me is that I am still called to love and care for others and to be an example of Christ in the world. How did I get here – from running around with my hair on fire to settling into acceptance of the reality we now face? How have I found hope and trust that we can overcome and end up stronger from the experience, even when we have no idea what will happen? I look to those heroes of faith who have gone before us.

There have been so many examples of those who faced seemingly impossible circumstances to make a difference in the world. I don’t pretend to be anywhere near their stature, but I hope to do what I’m called to do within my own capacity – to shine a light, even if it’s just a small candlelight, in the darkness.

As long as humans have been in existence, there has been violence and war somewhere in the world. Though we don’t know what to expect in the coming years in America, we see the innocent in Ukraine and the Middle East suffer untold horrors that we watch on our daily news feeds, and that’s frightening.

But, what we don’t see on the news is the stories of Ukrainians who courageously go about their lives in the midst of it. This is from an article by HOPE International, “Ukrainian believers continue to walk in God’s leading in times of war, just as they had done in times of peace. Despite the devastation Russia inflicts on their country, the Ukrainian spirit will not be broken. We will continue to see Ukrainian believers serving on the front lines of a courageous response, daily finding ways to love God and love their neighbors.” https://blog.hopeinternational.org/2023/06/28/the-heartbeat-of-hope-in-ukraine/

We, too, must trust in God each day to give us all we need, not to simply survive but to thrive and bring hope and care to those who suffer at the hands of evil. If not us, then who?

The following are amazing examples of that light in the darkness: Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Nelson Mandela, Anne Frank, Oscar Romero, and Jesus. Let’s not forget Jesus.

During the Vietnam War, Thomas Merton said, “We are living through the greatest crisis in the history of man….far from being irrelevant, prayer, meditation, and contemplation are of the utmost importance in America today.”

Maximilian Maria Kolbe volunteered to die in place of another man at Auschwitz during World War II. “The most deadly poison of our times is indifference.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer was hanged for his resistance to Hitler. “Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.”

Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated during the civil rights movement “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was assassinated as he led the nonviolent resistance against British rule in India. “The day the power of love overrules the love of power, the world will know peace.”

Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela spent twenty-seven years in prison because of his anti-apartheid activism. “To deny people their human rights is to challenge their very humanity.”

And let’s not forget these powerful words of Genesis 50:20, “God uses the evil perpetrated against us for His good and makes all things new”.

Lastly, I have been following Andrea Chalupa. She is an amazing Ukrainian-American Journalist and Filmmaker. Here is a link to her podcast with lots of action guides: https://www.gaslitnationpod.com/action-guide

Never, Never, Never Give Up!

by Linda Russell, posted in Boldness in adversity, Energized by hope, If not us, then who?, the suffering need our care

As soon as I opened my eyes this morning I started ruminating on the negativity of our new reality since the elections. Then, I looked at my phone and realized that I missed my grandson’s concert at his school yesterday. I was devastated and felt terrible.

Am I trading enjoyment and purpose for loss and fear even when I try to convince myself that God is still present and still has a plan for me, for all of us? I’ve been so stressed about what is likely coming that it has consumed me with angst and dread, in particular for those most vulnerable. But if I continue to dwell on things that I can’t change or control, I will surely miss the beautiful parts of my life right now.

There are certain things that have not, and will not change, no matter what lies ahead: We are all called to care for those God cares most deeply for: The lost, the broken, the suffering. He is surely heartbroken when so many people refuse his call to fulfill their life’s purpose in whatever way he has gifted them. And I am also saying “no” when I want to check out of life.

Debie Thomas speaks of our interconnectedness, “We cause pain and loss when we hold ourselves apart, ….it’s especially challenging to do so now. We live in bitterly divided times. We have good reasons to be cautious and self-protective….Whether we like it or not, our lives are bound up in God’s and in each other’s. The only true life we will live in this world is the life we consent to live in relationship, messy and entangled though it might be.”   

What brought it all home for me were two readings from yesterday. First came the reading of the Prodigal Son’s brother, “then he became angry and refused to go in.” The author of this meditation asks, ”Are you angry and refusing to participate in some space in your life? Is an invitation waiting for you, too, if you can set aside your resentment and anger?”

Oops…Gulp

Next came the Benedictine mediation for that day in which I previously highlighted these words:

“Benedictine spirituality is about coming to a sense of the fullness of life. (It) never gives up on life. Why? Because every day we have gives us another chance to become the real persons we were meant to be. The point, perhaps, is to never give up on life and never doubt that every bit of kindness, every tender touch we lay upon another in life can heal what might otherwise have died, certainly in them, perhaps even in ourselves.”

So, God has spoken to me profoundly in these last few days. He couldn’t be clearer if he tried, even for a hard-head like me!

God needs us now, more than ever, to stay strong in faith, to be that beacon on the hill that he calls us to be in Matthew 5:14, 16, “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

God’s Audacious Promise of Hope Always Fulfilled

by Linda Russell, posted in Boldness in adversity, Consider trials pure joy!, Energized by hope, fear, Good News, hope

This post shares quotes from others I admire so much—those who may or may not have always had hope in God’s promises when the world was saying something very different. But they persevered, and so can we!

There are about 80+ Bible verses telling us not to be afraid! But here we are—afraid of what is happening in the world today—shutting ourselves off and preparing for the apocalypse. What I’m hoping is that we can all take a deep breath and get on with the business of abundantly living our lives and helping others to do the same.

Let’s start with Hebrews 10:22-23 (Msg), “So let’s do it—full of belief….Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word.” There’s nothing ambiguous about that.

Richard Rohr:

“We are energized by the hope of God’s promises. What gives us the energy and power to keep moving is the promise, the dream, the vision of what could be and what’s beyond the moment….they’re not always what we expect or hope for, and so God calls us a little further. This is the way that divine love stretches our hearts. God’s promises energize and expand the heart, deepening our capacity for life and our quality of being in this world. That’s what the promises of God do—lead us to the experience of deeper life.”

Desmond Tutu:

Dear Child of God, before we can become God’s partners, we must know what God wants for us. “I have a dream,” God says. “Please help Me to realize it. It is a dream of a world whose ugliness and squalor and poverty, its war and hostility, its greed and harsh competitiveness, its alienation and disharmony are changed into their glorious counterparts, when there will be more laughter, joy, and peace, where there will be justice and goodness and compassion and love and caring and sharing.”

Dan Rather:

“Let us hope that we stand up to those who would wreak havoc and death. Let us hope that we continue to try to find ways to lessen suffering so that violence doesn’t feel like the only option for those who are desperate. Let us never give up on yearning for peace.

The pull of our humanity is what gives us a reason to smile when we see what is good and beautiful in our world. But it also is what provokes such sadness when we know others are in pain. We need to hold onto both the good and the bad so we can hold onto each other. We need to remember all that we have in common as we try to cope with the difficult realities of life.”

Thomas Merton:

“We did not come here to breathe the rarified air beyond the suffering of this world. We came here to carry the suffering of the whole world in our hearts. Otherwise, there’s no validity in living in a place like this.”

Martin Luther King:

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’

I have a dream that one day, on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood.”

Henri Nouwen:

“Hope is willing to leave unanswered questions unanswered and unknown futures unknown. Hope makes you see God’s guiding hand not only in the gentle and pleasant moments but also in the shadows in disappointment and darkness.”

And…last but not least:

Holy Week Clashes with My Former Self

by Linda Russell, posted in "Experiencing" God, Boldness in adversity, Easter, Good Friday, Holy Saturday
(Shutterstock image)

I am in such a strange and incredibly exciting place right now.  I’m not sure I know how to write about it. But here it goes.

When I’m done here, you may think I have gone off the deep end, and you will soon hear that I ran away to live in a commune in the woods (they still exist, you know). It’s okay. I know I’m in a better place just being able to write this with a smile on my face and a full heart, not worrying about what others think. I’ve done that for too long, and I’m now aware of how it affects my very being. 

I have often said that I’m an introvert, but I now believe it would be more honest to say that I avoided people because of fear of being judged. In the past, when faced with meeting new people in new circumstances, I would be a nervous wreck. Obsessing over my appearance being acceptable, how I would speak, how I would be perceived/judged by others. Did I forget to shave my legs? It was exhausting!

For most of my life, I have been a mess of contradictions (and let all the people say, “DUH!”). Then, I began learning to meditate through the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza. It’s profound that it started during Lent, as I was constantly reminded of the truth of my life in light of the Easter story.

I have learned how we get stuck in the past. How our thoughts, words, and actions can’t seem to get beyond our misguided beliefs about ourselves. Instead, we allow others to determine our worth and tell ourselves repeatedly that what they say about us and what we believe about ourselves is true. Then we ruminate on our painful past experiences to prove it!

We go through every day on autopilot, settling for the mundane when God longs to shower us with a rich and abundant life beyond our imagining (1 Cor. 2:9). We need only claim it as our inheritance. But we don’t believe it. Our past experience tells us not to trust it, there’s always a catch!

I’ve come to recognize the emotions I bought into: fear, anger, hopelessness, emptiness, and judgment. Yet, God yearns to exchange those lies for our true essence –manifested through our innate desire for something more than the world can offer. That “more” can be realized through the Easter story, if we open our hearts to it.

Resurrection was not a once-and-done deal, it is continual for all of us. God’s redeeming love is never-ending. In his grace and mercy, he can change our misery into joy, fear into hope, and emptiness into the fullness of life. He can shine his light into the darkness of our despair.

God can give us new eyes to see that in the depth of the Easter story, Jesus shows us the beauty of replacing ego with humility. We are called to emulate his life, which requires us to let go of the parts of ourselves that have caused us and others untold pain and suffering.

We are meant to thrive, not simply survive, but our past holds us back and tells us we are not good enough, loved enough, or powerful enough to create a different reality. Even though, during every Easter season, God proclaims from the Cross into the depths of our hearts, “That’s not true – none of that is true!”

So, here’s where my deepest longings encountered the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus this Easter:

Good Friday:

Have you ever asked yourself why it’s called “Good”?

Pastor Rachel Srubas explains it beautifully, “A sense of sacred irony, of eloquent mistakes, has for centuries enabled Christians to call the Friday of Jesus’ tortuous execution “good.” This is not a matter of putting a happy spin on a grisly, unjust tragedy. Good Friday, and all Christian life, is about embracing paradox. When you and I embrace Jesus’ essential paradox—that to lose is to gain and to die is to live—we come to God, who gathers up the broken pieces of the world and makes them more complete and beautiful than they were before they broke. It’s a life we get to live here and now, by grace and faith. It’s the life toward which Lent has always pointed.”  

Holy Saturday:

This day we sit in darkness. Today, we experience uncertainty, just as the disciples did, and have no idea what to think or believe about God. (The bold lettering and underlining are my emphasis)

Richard Rohr gives us an understanding of this day through the writings of the unknown 14th-century author of “The Cloud of Unknowing”. He says, “.…first we have to enter the Cloud of Forgetting—to forget all our certitudes, all our labels, all our explanations….They are nothing but our ego projecting itself. It has nothing to do with objective reality.

The author of The Cloud teaches that after we enter into the Cloud of Forgetting, letting go of our hurts and our labels, then we must go into the Cloud of Unknowing, where we actually don’t need to label anymore…(my emphasis). I think the biblical word for that–is faith. It’s this willingness to live with a certain degree of humility.”

Easter Sunday:

Father Rohr tells us, “Understanding the Universal or Cosmic Christ can change the way we relate to creation, to other religions, to other people, to ourselves, and to God….we won’t be the same after encountering the Risen Christ.

Jesus’ historical transformation allows us to more easily experience the Presence that has always been available since the beginning of time, the promise and guarantee of our own transformation. God’s presence became more obvious and believable in the world. The formless took on form in someone we could “hear, see, and touch” (1 John 1:1), making God easier to love.”

Contemplative theologian Beatrice Bruteau says, “When we take a little time to remember to look, to marvel, we find that there are sources of joy, of esthetic delight, of quiet happiness on every hand….  

Our joy is not confined to ourselves but radiates out to all. Just as Jesus intended to enter into us, that his joy might be in us and our joy might be full (John 15:11), so neither can we contain our joy: our peace and happiness envelop all those around us. When we interact with people—or circumstances—we do not feel drained of energy, as we did when we were still obliged to protect and defend our ego-self….we feel ourselves fully living, full of the richness of God’s life. The reality of God is intensely perceived as present in everything.…   When we are shaken awake, we see it.”

And finally, the words of Matthew Fox brought it all home for me. We are told that death is never final. It will never have the last word. “I cannot dwell in [despair] and death and anger and oppression and submission and resentment and pain forever. I need to wake up, get up, rise up, put on life even when days are dark, and, my soul is down, and shadows surround me everywhere.

How much in love with life am I? Is my curiosity alive? My gratitude? My mind? My imagination? My laughter and sense of humor? My creativity? My powers of generosity and compassion? My powers for continually generating and regenerating life?”  

Resurrection is a commitment to hope and being reborn. It is a commitment to creativity, to the Spirit who “makes all things new” (Revelation 21:5).

How much in love with life am I? Is my curiosity alive? My gratitude? My mind? My imagination? My laughter and sense of humor? My creativity? My powers of generosity and compassion? My powers for continually generating and regenerating life?”  

Now, I could profess to be a “new creation in Christ” (2 Cor. 5:17), and would love to project that out into the world. But I believe saying it and living it are so very different. It’s much easier to say but far more challenging to live.

So, here I am, “shaken awake”, intent on not falling back asleep. I have missed too much. I don’t want to miss another glorious moment of life! God has given us a mandate to live and love fully in this broken world, and as beings created in his image, he has given us all we need to do just that!

If you care to join me on this journey, know that it is not for the faint of heart. It will require every ounce of courage you can muster and challenge every certitude about God you have ever professed. But then, somewhere along the way,  you will encounter God, who has been waiting patiently and lovingly to bring you into your new life!

And, get this, it all comes with a lifetime guarantee! That’s right. If at any point you regret all the energy you poured into the journey, God will give you your old crappy life back! How’s that?!

Death – Our Uninvited Teacher

Featured by Linda Russell, posted in AHA moments, Boldness in adversity, Consider trials pure joy!, death's lessons, Good Friday

I wrote the following Blog post on 4/2/2021 (Good Friday), having no idea that my husband would pass away just fifteen days later. The words are now more poignant than ever. I have added my thoughts since his passing at the end.

(Pixabay image)

Every death diminishes me

Every Good Friday, we are called to remember the brutal beating and crucifixion of Jesus. He walked in the midst of those deemed lesser and unimportant. They experienced his love and compassion for them. But he walked a lonely road to his death. Sure, a few dared to walk with him (ahem…the women!). But many, his disciples in particular, scattered for their own safety, feeling powerless to stop it from happening.

Also, we are reliving the horrific facts of George Floyd’s death during Derek Chauvin’s trial. Hearing the witnesses’ testimony as they broke down and grieved over watching Floyd die has been excruciating for many. Most witnesses were strangers to him, yet they all spoke of feeling helpless and guilty that they didn’t try to help him. Even though they also knew they were powerless to do so.

Jesus was innocent of any crime. George Floyd was not. But the fact remains that neither deserved to die so violently at the hands of others.

So, I sit and contemplate how their deaths have impacted me. As a professed Christian, I am called to emulate Jesus’ radical love in every aspect of my life. I mostly fail, but I keep trying and longing to be more like him and less like me.

And George Floyd? I didn’t know him and likely never would have, nor would most of us, if not for witnessing his horrific death on the daily news.

In those beautiful and poignant words of John Donne, “No man is an island; entire of itself…any man’s death diminishes me because I am involved in mankind.”

That is a fact of God’s making. We are all interconnected – like it or not. The death of another, be it a loved one or a stranger, should call us to stop and take inventory of our own lives. Every funeral I attend does that for me and often shines a light on my failings to be Christ-like to others. Thankfully, every day is a new day – a day to begin again.

Wake up!

So, here’s what I will contemplate and pray about and hopefully act on daily. It doesn’t have to be Jesus who calls us to be better, kinder, softer, and to live and love more fully. It can also be the death of a stranger we have never met that wakes us from sleepwalking through life.

Facing the realization that we will also die (sorry if that’s news to you) – maybe sooner than later (sorry again) – should cause us to ask ourselves if our houses are in order and, more importantly, what we are leaving behind because…

Death doesn’t care

Death does not care if we have left business unfinished, relationships broken, or children to be raised. It doesn’t matter if we are not ready or sit on promises to change. It will take the weak with the strong, the humble with the proud, the saint with the jerk.

Death doesn’t respect wedding plans, vacation plans, or unmet deadlines. It does not operate by a timetable we set and is no respecter of age. It does not discriminate between the most loved or most hated. It may not wait for the most brilliant to cure cancer, bring peace to a troubled world, or receive a Nobel Prize.

Denying that death is a part of life doesn’t change its reality. We can’t rely on death to come when we are ready. But we can depend on it to teach those of us who are willing how to truly live.

Death can and should be a time of reflection.

Have I lived well, loved well, forgiven — honestly – and sought forgiveness humbly?

For good or bad, I have touched the lives of family and friends, the mailman, and the grumpy receptionist at the doctor’s office. I may have amassed wealth and recognition and left a fortune to my loved ones. All things they can pack away, gamble away, or throw away. But, at the end of the day…what have I left in their hearts?

So now?

As I contemplate the reality that my life has changed drastically, my beliefs have not.

The suddenness of my husband’s death has not made me fearful or anxious, as I know God’s love and care for me have always been steady and unchanging, even when I have so often failed to appreciate it. But, at the same time, it drives home the fact that my own life is not guaranteed beyond this moment. So, what does that mean?

My life is filled with many moments of disbelief that my husband is actually gone. I’m sure that will continue for some time. But, in the midst of that, as I daily make decisions about how I am to “live and move and have my being” (Acts 17:28) – I am discovering my better self, my true self, not the self on display when others are watching.

I am asking critical questions that will surely determine my life’s direction, purpose, and focus for whatever time I have left here. How will/should I live my life moving forward? What do I want my loved ones to remember when I’m gone?

God longs for us to use the gifts he has given us to leave the world better than we found it. How will I do that? How will I serve in this time of such need and suffering? Every moment of every day allows us to grow in love and compassion for all those we encounter on this journey.

There truly are gifts in the midst of our goodbyes. What do I want mine to be? What do you want yours to be?

Suck it up Buttercup!

by Linda Russell, posted in A Holy Whack, Boldness in adversity, Consider trials pure joy!

(Originally posted 1/22/16)

I have not posted since August. Not because I got bored with writing or died. (I hope you’re happy I didn’t die!) On August 18th, I was on the receiving end of a vaccination shot gone terribly wrong! That shot was the cause of four months of constant pain, an emergency room visit, failed treatments, and rotator cuff surgery.

For the first few weeks after surgery, my husband had to do almost everything for me. God bless him; he’s a trooper. My neighbor has come over several times to fix my hair when I actually cared about what I looked like.

I know I have been more miserable than necessary because I cannot take pain medications. They make me feel physically and mentally whacked. I have experienced more pain than ever in my life, including childbirth! Seriously. Besides, that pain is short-lived, and there’s a blessed little prize at the end – until they’re two, anyway!

But I am getting better. I am able to do more for myself. Occasionally I will muster up the energy to cook a meal and clean the house. But it takes everything I have to do it. My husband never complains, which I am eternally grateful for.

To be perfectly honest, sometimes I catch myself actually enjoying the sympathy from friends and family and even strangers. Of course, no one is going to feel sorry for me if I don’t complain, right? When someone asks how I’m doing, I jump feet first into my pit of misery and do my best to pull them in with me! I might begin by saying, “Oh, you’re probably tired of hearing about it it’s been going on for so long!” But then I don’t give them a chance to respond before, choking back tears, I give an update on my ongoing misery. Poor, poor pitiful me!

Then, one day,  “Holy lesson-in-the-making Batman.” I received another of God’s proverbial admonishments. It’s never audible. It just hangs around me like a shroud until I acknowledge its presence, “Okay, Lord, there’s a lesson here I just know it! You’re not going to let me get away with this, are you?”

This was actually a lesson in the making since December when I was thinking about the silly New Year’s Resolutions I usually end before they even begin. I’m going to lose weight right after this super-sized hot fudge sundae, or maybe the next, or maybe not at all. I don’t know. I’m not feelin’ it.

So, this time, in order to grow deeper in faith, I chose to focus on a virtue instead of giving up something. Nightly, I would meditate and journal on all I thought, said, and did that day (while eating my hot fudge sundae). Then, out from under that shroud, “Or, Linda, how about gratitude?” Hum. Gratitude. Okay, that’s a good one! At the end of each day, I could write in a Gratitude Journal all the things I was grateful for that day: a beautiful sunrise, the song of birds outside my window…

That’s lovely, Linda, and safe. But let’s go deeper. You’re thankful for your good health, but how about the help you received from others while you recovered from your injury? You’re grateful for friends who are low-maintenance, but what about the relationships that are difficult? You’re grateful for all the things you have, but what about the things others have that you don’t, that you covet?”

When we consider gratitude, if we consider it at all, we often stay within the realm of the warm squishy stuff. I remember the times at my son’s house when the kids were small. They would each take turns thanking God, mostly for “things” – a doll, a stuffed animal, a birthday present envied by their siblings. Unfortunately, as adults, we are still prone to thankfulness for adult “things” that make us happy.

Being grateful for our struggles in life just doesn’t make sense. It’s easier for us to see a beautiful sunrise, attribute it to God, and thank him for it than to thank him for adversity. Are you old enough to remember this commercial?

(Sorry, I just had to throw that in!)

I suppose we are in one of two camps when dealing with suffering: we either believe (a) God doesn’t cause suffering, but he allows it, think of Job, or (b) God is behind everything that happens to us. I’m going with (a). Either way, we are probably going to complain and complain loudly! If we believe it’s the former, we cry out, “Lord, why don’t you stop this?” or the latter, “Lord, how could you do this to me?!” Either way, God is to blame for our suffering.

Philippians 2:14 tells us to “Do all things without grumbling or questioning.” But we just can’t, can we? Whining is in our nature, apparently. Look at the Israelites, for heaven’s sake. I can see why Moses tried to get out of God’s call on that fateful day! But he acquiesced and was drug into the Israelite’s unrelenting pity parties. He went to God and begged him to make it stop! I suppose the Israelites got it in their heads that because they were God’s chosen people (Exodus 6:7) life would be grand. Their suffering was over. Not so much.

When things don’t go as planned in my life, it’s usually a wake-up call. After all, when did I win the perfect life lottery? When was I promised immunity from suffering and pain? We can’t seem to watch the news or talk to a neighbor any day of the week and not hear of someone’s tragedy: A death, an illness, a cancer diagnosis, a divorce, a lost job. But when that’s my story, I scream NOT FAIR! I pout and complain and solicit sympathy from anyone who will listen, especially God – I think he plugged his ears long ago.

Major New Year’s Resolution Fail – AGAIN!

by Linda Russell, posted in Boldness in adversity, Consider trials pure joy!, God in the ordinary
Jeff Larson cartoon

This was going to be the year I would recreate myself! Maybe I’ll try to be the first great-grandmother on The Titan Games! YEAH! That’s the ticket! I missed the opportunity to be the oldest great-grandmother bodybuilder in the Guinness Book of World Records. That coveted title went to Ernestine Shepherd, who recently celebrated her eightieth birthday! Okay. But I can still impress the masses with my stellar fitness! It will be epic!

I was off to a great start on January 1st! I got out my planner, dusted off my scale, bought some adorable running pants, ordered some new microgreen seeds & potting soil, found that meditation DVD I bought last year, and revamped my workout routine. BAM! Ready to go.

But NO!  Two weeks into the new year, and I haven’t committed to anything! Statistically, I only have a few more weeks before I give up. According to U.S. News, “Approximately 80% of resolutions fail by the second week of February.” So the odds are against me. But it’s not ALL my fault!

I am currently working with the homeless for St. Vincent DePaul. Since I am the only one in my parish doing it, I receive all the phone calls for assistance. (I have not given any personal information or used anyone’s real name here. I should have given myself an alias, as this is another embarrassing “tell on Linda” post.)

Monday morning:

The phone rang—a message on our helpline. A homeless woman was at a motel. Could I call her?

Betty just completed her fourth chemo treatment for colon cancer and has COPD. In our conversation, she told me how she loved the nuns at St. Mary’s Academy, where she went to high school “a long time ago”. Smiling through broken and missing teeth, she wondered if any of the nuns who taught her were still there and if she could visit them.

How did her life go so wrong? She and her husband had been homeless for years. Her husband could never seem to provide for them. They never owned a home. She never had her own gym in her basement (ahem). Her “workout routine” consisted of wrestling to get comfortable and stay warm in the car she and her husband slept in. And yet, this woman praised God. How is that possible?

Tuesday morning:

I have always struggled to lose weight. I know what to do. I just choose not to. But no more! In preparation for my return to healthy eating, I have gotten rid of everything that tempts me to failure and replaced it with all things fresh, green, and organic! WOOT! WOOT!

The phone rang – a message on our helpline. Could we help a homeless family trying to get back to Kentucky?

Jim and his wife, their three kids, and her mentally disabled brother lost their home in a fire in Nebraska. Friends in Louisville offered them a place to stay and jobs there. But they ran out of money and gas and had a flat tire. Mom & dad hadn’t eaten for two days to provide for the kids, but now they were out of food. So we provided them with a room for the night and gave them money for gas, tire repairs, and bags of food. All items with pop-top lids they could eat cold while they traveled. These were fill-a-void-in-the-stomach foods. NOT A SINGLE GREEN THING in those bags. And yet, Jim’s eyes fill with tears of gratitude.

He told me they felt they had lived in a good community. Their neighbor’s kids were always at their home. They called him “Uncle Jim”. But, after the fire, not one neighbor reached out to help them. He and his wife could not believe the love and support they received here from strangers.

Their hearts ached for their kids and her brother because of what they were going through. But I could see something else: Their love for God, each other, and their kids. Somehow I knew they would prevail over their struggles. Their kids were learning tough but powerful life lessons. They were actually the happiest kids I have ever seen! Can you imagine?

Cold spagettios would not be the choice of a health snob like me. After having met such a beautiful family, it made me wonder how strong my faith would be and how well I would survive in their circumstances. I’ve never been tested like that. Nor do I want to be! Truth be told, I’m probably not as strong or resilient as I would like to believe.

Wednesday morning:

Okay, this was it! It was SO COLD, but I was determined to pull on my new running pants,  jacket, and hat I bought when we went to the French Alps over the holidays – and go! I usually don’t like running in the cold, but this is the new me. Bring it on!

Then the phone rang—a message on our helpline. A young dad, his wife, and a two-year-old were staying at the motel. The manager was trying to overlook the fact that they were falling further and further behind in their motel bill. Could we help them?

Jason rode a bike to work from the motel to a new job ten miles away. His two-year-old son was ill and had seizures. All their income went to the motel bill. They had no family or support.

The difference between Jason and me should be obvious. He doesn’t ride his bike in the winter because he is obsessed with the benefits of exercise and loves the challenge. And I don’t have to be out in bad weather if I don’t want to. Instead, I can go back to bed or down to my basement and jump on the treadmill.

Thursday Morning:

For years, I was able to maintain a healthy weight. I ran half-marathons for seven years. In 2010 I ran two! That was the year after I had a kidney removed. Basically, I ROCKED it! Now, I beat myself up for failing to get my act together. And I don’t believe age has anything to do with it. (So, get that thought out of your head.) I’M JUST LAZY. There, I said it! But I need to get over it and realize that I am not happy where I’m at and the only one who can change that is me.

Then the phone rang—a message on our helpline. A homeless couple staying at the motel ran out of money. She was disabled, and he was out of work. Could we help them?

When I met with Rick and Amy, I held the door as he helped Amy walk inside. Every step seemed labored. She had been in a motorcycle accident and broke her back. At the time, she was a nurse. Now, she was on total disability. Her constant pain was more than I could imagine or bear to watch.

They had never been homeless before. He always had a good job and worked hard to provide for his family. Then, due to circumstances involving his ex-wife, a shady lawyer, and back child support, he ended up in jail for three days, which awarded him a police record. They also took his driver’s license away, so he lost his job.

When they first became homeless, he lived in his car for two months, and she went to live with a friend. They tried to get into a shelter before calling us, but the only bed available was an upper bunk, which she couldn’t manage. Yet they expressed gratitude to God even when their lives were turned upside down. So why weren’t they shaking their fists at God?

I could go on and on with the stories of pain and struggle we encountered almost daily. But, somehow, right now, at the beginning of this new year, God has been shining a bright light on my obsession with my “personal” resolutions. I’m sure He has no problem with my wanting to be healthy. But I’m betting He thinks I take it too far, focusing too much on myself. A transformation of my heart is what He desires. It is what we were made for, not simply a lifestyle change.

Marcus Borg ends his most profound book, Speaking Christian, with these words, “Christianity…at its best, is about truth, goodness, and beauty. And it addresses the two great yearnings – our longing for personal transformation and our desire that the world be a better place.”

The Christian message reduced to its essentials is: love God (as known in Jesus) and love everyone.” Okay. My new resolution will hopefully endure every day I wake up until I take my last breath: love God above all things, and find ways to touch others with that love every day. And, please, God, may I have left this world a little bit better for having been here – sweatpants optional.

Grandma…Really! Should You be Doing That?

by Linda Russell, posted in Boldness in adversity, Consider trials pure joy!, grace, gratitude, Laugh at yourself
(CREDIT: Sacha Goldberger)

Cellulite and shrinking bladders.

We’ve been thinner, and we’ve been fatter.

Aches and pains; always have to pee.

Adjusting to new hips and knees.

No trophies sitting on the shelf,

Just accolades we give ourselves.

Paltry savings in the bank.

Is this God’s dirty little prank?

The age of seventy-four is magical for me. I can’t contain myself when I consider all the experiences I have grown through. Fierce rejections, false truths, exquisite God-moments, giggly grandkids, and cherished relationships that have endured my messiness and painful childhood memories, all washed over by grace.

I have embraced a calling that gives meaning and purpose to it all. I can barely believe this is my life! My once insignificant story has blossomed into something holy and beautiful that makes me want to sing! If only I could sing.

Many, at this point, feel they have made an irreparable mess of their lives. Yet, it seems easier to continue the incessant navel-gazing than to allow God to gaze into their hardened hearts and change their lives.

And if we weren’t beating ourselves up enough, the world also tells us that we have outlived our usefulness. We are sucking valuable air and resources that would better serve the younger and more “productive.” We should simply lie down and die already.

But for others like me, grace has led us through much self-reflection, releasing a false self we so easily embraced, finally leading us to the necessary letting go. We have stopped fighting against it. With newfound courage, we have sought out forgiveness from those we have hurt and offer forgiveness to our offenders.

We have no one to impress and no status to protect. Our once false reliance on all that is worldly has been exposed. It pales in comparison to the treasure of relationships, beginning with God. As long as we are still breathing (you are still breathing, aren’t you?), we can leave a legacy of love in the hearts of those we share this journey with.

But wait. Look around you. Are you reveling in that grace-filled stage of your life alone? If so, someone is missing. If you are here and those who continue to suffer are over there, you have probably forgotten your purpose! (Mark 12:30-31). Every day brings a new opportunity for us to step onto the path of someone else’s journey to wholeness and healing. And please do it with great joy and enthusiasm!  

1 Peter 3:15 tells us, “… always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you….” News flash! No one is even going to ask if we are not living differently than the rest of the world if we spew cynicism from every pore of our wrinkled and aging bodies.

Joy is loving out loud!

I believe young people, in particular, need to hear that there really is Good News! But they don’t want to hear it from a bunch of grumpy old people.

You may ask, “With the world in such a mess, why shouldn’t we be cynical?” Well, I’ll tell you why. Cynicism is the devil’s tool for keeping non-believers away from salvation’s door. “Look,” says the non-believer, “those Christians are just as miserable as we are – maybe more so with all those thou-shalt-nots to contend with. If we’re going to be miserable, we’ll do it on our terms. Thank you very much.”

The quality that draws people to Christianity isn’t gloom and doom. Instead, it’s deep-down joy, even in the midst of trials and struggles. Joy causes the lonely and suffering to peer up from their pit of despair and ask, “Why are you so damn cheerful? What do you know that we don’t?” 

 Here are a couple of frightening statistics to consider: 1) seventy percent of Christian youths abandon their faith during college years and never return to it  (LifeWay Research), and 2) suicide is the third-leading cause of death among ten to twenty-four-year-olds (CDC). In both instances, we need to ask ourselves why. And more importantly, what have we done to convince these young people that Christ isn’t worth following, that joy isn’t worth seeking, that life isn’t worth living? When they look at us, what do they see?

https://www.disneyclips.com)

Do they see this? I can’t imagine anyone skipping joyously into the second half of life if this was all we had to offer; aches and pains and life’s dreadful stains. Just shoot me!

Or do they see this? 

Now, this is a different story! No, that picture was not photoshopped. That was my husband, who loved being silly with the grandkids. Okay, maybe it’s a bit extreme for some folks, but I think it’s hysterical, and our grandkids LOVED it. Since his passing, they now have beautiful memories of him. I kind of wish I would have done it now. But I don’t think it would have been as funny. Anyway, my claim to fame was “the running game” and the “tickle monster” – and I participated in them with great gusto!

“What this country needs are radicals who will stay that way regardless of the creeping years.” ~John Fischer

So go find someone to love on. Maybe even a teenager. Really! From many years of being a Youth Minister, I can tell you that teens are not as scary as you might think. I decided to “retire” from that ministry because I thought I was too old. Someone younger would be better suited to the job and relate better to them.

On the contrary, I found that being able to care about teens is not determined by age; it’s determined by how much we care. That’s all they want, someone to care and offer them hope and encouragement. They long for someone to help them reach within themselves to find that child who may have been lost to society but is NEVER lost to the God who created them. I know. I’ve been there. What about you?

Here are some things I have learned about life. Some the hard way:

  1. Failure is never final, and love is never wasted.         
  2. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hurt you the way you have hurt me.
  3. Eat dessert first.
  4. I would look stupid in skinny jeans even if I could fit into them – which I can’t.
  5. Pride is overrated – laugh at yourself – often.
  6. That jerk in your day-to-day life is trying to teach you something – pay attention.
  7. Surrender is a daily act of courage, risk, and trust.
  8. Be silly! We don’t have enough silliness in this world.
  9. Leave your little corner of the world better than you found it.

Words of wisdom from Richard Rohr: “The Jesus way is to embrace our wounds and accept them as the price of the journey. We can choose to carry our wounds with dignity until the time comes when we forget why they were so important or debilitating to begin with. I think we carry our wounds until the end; they do not fully go away but keep us humble, patient, and more open to trust and intimacy. The healing lies in the fact that those same wounds no longer defeat us or cause us to harm ourselves or others.”

And finally, a quote that should conjure up an “OH CRAP” moment for all of us: 

“Hell begins on the day when God grants us a clear vision of all that we might have achieved, of all the gifts which we have wasted, of all that we might have done which we did not do”  Gian Carlo Menotti

Failure Will Not Have the Last Word

by Linda Russell, posted in Boldness in adversity, fear of failure, God's plan

Funny word, “failure”. We tend to judge everything that misses the mark according to our expectations: Anything that does not invoke praise and accolades from others is deemed a failure. The times I have whined to God in deep sorrow for my failings have grown beyond my ability to number them.

Lord, I know this was from you – I did it – I failed at it – I am a despicable wretch! For example: remember way back in 2001, when You said, “Write a book”, and I did? I am yet to see it on the New York Times best-seller list. Your book would have been #1 on that list – forever!”

The Bible comes to mind. “No disrespect, but why didn’t You just write it yourself? I mean, really. Countless people have written and rewritten it until the essence of Your message is often blurred and confusing.“

God: “Are you finished, Linda?”

Me: Oops (a Job moment), “Yes. Sorry.”

God: “I’m not interested in how the world views your work. I am ONLY interested in how you trust and obey Me. I thought your story of surrendering to Me was beautiful. Okay, there were a few typos. But, that part about ‘giving birth’? I’m still laughing at that one. So, will you please quit your whining!?”

When we are obsessed with the outcomes success and failure, trusting in God’s plan can become obscured by fear. Often, I read these magnificent words from Thomas Merton to remind myself of God’s call for me to trust Him:

“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that my desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”

I have learned countless lessons about trusting God. Many of my attempts were wrought with uncertainty and assumptions of failure throughout eleven years of my book-writing adventure. But I knew without a doubt it was God speaking to my heart from the beginning. His words, “Write a book”, were not cloaked in ambiguity. They were clear and undeniable.

The book’s first edition (yes, there have been two) was an unbelievably daunting and very expensive – as in $10,000 expensive – challenge. God made it sound simple enough. But, here’s where I began to falter: I made some very costly errors in judgment when choosing the Editor, and the book was published with several issues. I was angry with the publisher (that soon after went out of business) and myself and proceeded to complain to God.

Through tears of disappointment and self-doubt, I wanted to know why He had directed me to write a book when I understood nothing about the process that would ensue. I felt I had failed Him because everything seemed to go wrong. So, here’s God, ears covered, “Blah, blah, blah, I can’t hear you. Get it published.” Fine. I attempted many times to offer it to publishers, becoming the recipient of more rejections than Charles Manson when he tried to find a date for the prom! So, I self-published it. 

After the fact, I read a book about self-publishing. Wanna know what it said? “NEVER, write a book FIRST! Get your name out there with published articles, establish a following, and then write your book.” Apparently, God failed to read that book.

Anyway, I was confused about how to proceed. Did I mention that I had 2500 books delivered to my doorstep and knew nothing about marketing? Did I mention that?! Then, to my utter amazement, people actually bought the book; people not even related to me!

The next surprise? The publication and subsequent sales, (though nothing earth-shaking for sure) of my very imperfect book led to a few speaking engagements – a notion that I found incomprehensible since I had never felt the slightest longing to stand in front of an audience and reveal my true self.

All my attention-grabbing stunts during my childhood had been designed to hide the real me! The very idea of speaking to a group of people horrified the adult me. I wanted to slap myself silly for saying “yes” without consulting my more reluctant self. What a long list of grumblers I follow: Moses (Exodus 4:10-17) and Jeremiah (Jeremiah 4-9), just to name two we know well.

Did I mention that the book is now in its second edition (edited more professionally)? I’m still not sure why. Still no call from the New York Times or Oprah. But – and here is where God has wanted me all along – it doesn’t matter if I sell even one. I am happy to give them away. God said, “Write”, – so I wrote. Everything else is fodder for Satan.

I, like Job, learned the hard way to accept being on a need-to-know basis when I feel God calling me, like Abraham (Genesis 12:1-3), to get on my camel and ride. No GPS, no roadmap, no crystal ball. I now find myself enjoying the adventure, even with blindfolds on!

So the next time you find yourself making room on the shelf for your next trophy, only to stare at the empty space it should have been placed in, try sitting quietly with the lesson. It’s there. Pray and wait for it.

When you are passed over for the job rightfully yours, stop to consider the lesson. When your plans to join a mission team in Haiti are dashed because you could not raise the funds – you got it – stop and listen to God. There’s a lesson there somewhere.

(clipart library)

I can never give up trusting that God’s plan for me is PERFECT, even if everyone else tells me I am a pathetic loser!

Oh, and if you’re interested in a book, I have a few hundred still available – free. Just contact me!

Acting ‘As If’: A Path to Healing and Growth

by Linda Russell, posted in AHA moments, Boldness in adversity, Consider trials pure joy!, embrace change, God's plan

(Original post-2021)

Well, I’m still here in case you were wondering – or even if you couldn’t care less (in which case, I don’t suppose you’d be reading this). Regardless, here we go…

For over a year, I went kicking and screaming into a sudden and uncertain reality. In the process, I have slowly, often unwillingly, been discovering who I am in the midst of loss, pain, and sorrow. The world I thought would never change – changed – without any warning. NOT FAIR!

I reasoned (something my A.D.D. brain should know by now to question) that it was time for a change. So, I packed up my former self, one box, one picture, one memory at a time. I suddenly realized I had been trying to suppress the uncertainty of my future with superficial words and inadequate certitudes, “I’m fine. Really!” – even though it may appear that I’m losing my shit!

Some “experts” encourage us to act “as if” _________(fill in the blank) until it becomes our truth. So, I did – or at least I tried. But, in pretending I was already there, I believe I also denied the necessary process of change. So, does acting “as if” my life is often a total shitstorm count? Because right now it is – no acting required.

Jen Hatmaker beautifully describes the inevitable change of seasons in life, “It can be difficult to envision a new start but impossible to deny one. This is your work. No one can do it for you. Something doesn’t have to be bad to be over. That season has possibly given you everything it had to offer; it shaped and developed you, and it stretched and inspired you. We are not entirely rebranded with each new season; we simply build the next layer. As a testament to our design, we are capable of preserving the best of each season while rejecting the worst. The human heart is shockingly resilient. We need to get better at permission and grace.”

The pictures are packed up now, leaving bare walls and lots of nail holes my husband never knew about because, well, why measure when you can just eyeball distance, even if you suck at it! I didn’t take the time to count, but I’m pretty sure there were at least five or six holes behind each picture!

But I digress…

It has become clear to me that I have been stuck in the past. God tells us to stay out of there and move on, trusting Him every step of the way. The past certainly formed my identity to this point, and I am grateful for all of its lessons. But that’s not the end of my story or my journey. Hatmaker says, “You can care about new things and new beginnings and new people. Carry on, sister!” Carry on, indeed!

(Tenor GIF)

God wants me, wants all of us, to boldly step into each new day, believing every life experience, good or bad, will influence how we impact our world. Our loving God has created our most outlandishly gifted, magnificently designed selves for that very purpose.

It’s time to grab onto the desire of my heart that has been sitting too long and aching to be acknowledged, that one passion refusing to fade away no matter how much I have tried to ignore it.

Jesus Weeps – So Why Don’t We?

by Linda Russell, posted in "Christians" who hate, AHA moments, Boldness in adversity, Do Something, Follow Me, If not us, then who?, loving others

For the year of 2005, my husband and I had the incredible opportunity to live in Belfast, Northern Ireland and work for Habitat for Humanity. During that year, we learned about a sectarian conflict there known as The Troubles.

After thirty years of hatred and violence, some were able to forgive and learned to love neighbors once considered the enemy. But, there was also an ongoing refusal of others to let go of their hatred. Annual Orange Day parades continued to fuel division year after year since the Peace Accords of 1998. Many parents passed that hatred on to their children. Today, the divisiveness and conflict may be played out differently, but it is still a reality, often manifested in rival gangs.

Ten years later, we were in Rwanda and learned about the horrendous massacre of thousands of men, women, and children slaughtered by their own neighbors. Most of the perpetrators of those atrocities were never brought to justice. They scattered into the mountains or other countries and regrouped. They’re still out there causing mayhem and promoting hatred.

Now, here we are, reliving hatred and strife in America that is pitting us against each other. Extremist groups fueled by years of hatred going back to the days of slavery and Jim Crow are more and more emboldened today to act out that hatred. Encouraged by a wink and a nod from the President. Some White Evangelical churches advocating their claim of being “Christian” – cling to power presumed given them by God.

What is going on? Did Jesus lose his way? Or have we reinvented him and relegated him to your buddy?

(Tenor images)

Let’s listen in on a few guys trying to figure it all out for themselves – perhaps you can relate:

One night a few friends gathered in a neighborhood bar. Their conversation quickly turned to questions about how to overcome fear and frustration over the current crisis playing out over their backyard fences, at family dinners, and in the news. The violence and anger coming from all sides made it hard for them to reconcile with their beliefs.

They were a varied group: two Catholic brothers – one “devoted” (as in a follower of all the “rules”) and the other lukewarm (as in “rules suck”), a Presbyterian, and a Baptist. After several beers, they found it challenging to reach any consensus on what part they played as Christians. They were even struggling to agree on what a “Christian” was.

Before departing, they jokingly decided to invite Jesus to their whine fest the following week so they could drill him to see if he could help them come to some agreement on the most basic fundamentals of their Christian faith.

They weren’t looking for clarity on what was true, noble, and right as much as fodder for their arguments. Something they could use to counter those they disagreed with. But none of them would admit to that. There were stark differences they could not overcome. They each held on to who was right and who was totally on the path to hell. At an impasse, they would let Jesus decide.

So, on the allotted day, they all showed up for a second installment of “My god can beat up your god”. And who shows up? – Jesus (through the front door, not the wall). “Hey, guys, what’s up?” Still in shock that he actually came, they offered him a chair and a beer…or…uh…wine. He took a seat and declined the alcohol, “I’m driving, but you go ahead.”

Then, right out of the gate, one guy at the table explained what had happened the prior week and why they invited him (as if he didn’t know…DUH!). Anyway, the conversation begins but immediately deteriorates into the same dispute as before. Each of them chimes in with their “beliefs”. Then someone has the foresight to ask the “Expert” sitting right in their midst, “Jesus, how would you resolve this?”

Jesus sits quietly for a moment, and then the men observe his eyes welling up with tears. They are shocked and don’t know how to react. Why isn’t he angry and pounding his fist like we do? Why isn’t he pointing out people to blame? There are plenty of them: the media, politicians, white supremacists, and other so-called Christians. 

Jesus’ weeping felt akin to when their wives would cry about something they could not get their heads around – like the broccoli soufflé that fell right before Christmas dinner with the in-laws. And, buddy, you learned quickly that your response better not be some lame man-up comment because you just want that awkward moment to be over! How’d that work for you? Exactly.

This Jesus moment was like that. Sure, he was known to throw a few tables around when he got mad, but we only see that once in all of Scripture. why don’t we just put that angry, show em’ who’s boss, can’t-control-his-temper-just-like-me Jesus to rest? Sorry.

So the world is falling apart, and Jesus weeps. That’s it? That’s all he can offer us? What are we supposed to do with that? Well, let’s see:

Joan Chittister says of weeping, “Indeed, few of us see our weeping as a spiritual gift or a matter of divine design. But we are wrong. Weeping is a very holy and life-giving thing. It sounds alarms for a society and wizens the soul of the individual. If we do not weep on the personal level, we shall never understand humanity around us. If we do not weep on the public level, we are less than human ourselves.”

The Rabbi Hanoch of Alexander offers, “There are…some things that ought not to be endured. There are some things worth weeping about lest we lose our sense of self. We must always cope with evil, of course, but we must never adjust to it. We must stay eternally restless for justice.”

Chittister concludes, “If we do not allow ourselves to face and feel pain…our lies about life shrink our hearts and limit our vision. It is not healthy, for instance, to say that massive poverty is sad but “normal.” It is not right to say that sexism is unfortunate but “necessary.” It is not human to say that war is miserable but “inevitable”. To weep tears of frustration about them may be to take our first real steps toward honesty, toward mental health, toward a life that is worth living.”

We know Jesus did not just sit around weeping all day long. As with Jesus, so with us. God took that pain, that compassion he felt in the deepest part of his being, and turned it into action. “Now go,” God would tell him, “do something for those you weep for”.

He longs to tell us the same thing if we can get over ourselves. If we can see clearly the suffering all around us that breaks God’s heart, the next hurdle is being accountable. It’s way too easy to shirk our responsibility and absolve ourselves with whatever excuse happens to work at the moment.

Lately, we seem so overwhelmed by the reality of the pain and suffering in our midst that we have either become numb to it or shake our fists in anger. We don’t feel like we have the power to address the massive needs of others, even if we want to. And truth be told, we don’t. So we shrug our shoulders, retreat into our little bubbles, and utter some feeble justification for not “getting involved”.

But we’re definitely not weepers – that’s a weakness we are not willing to put out there. If suffering humanity is lucky, Jesus just blew that myth to shreds for you! Fine. He doesn’t blow things up. But you get it. Right?

And don’t worry, I’m not going to spew some moral edict to try to guilt anyone out of being a self-serving, self-absorbed jerk. This isn’t about taking on a rule-following, righteous, high and mighty stance. That would amount to the lowest common denominator required for entry into “heaven” at some later date. Is that what you want out of life?

Let’s reconsider the gift of weeping that Jesus modeled, now seemingly lost as a Christian response to hatred and suffering. Not only should we weep for the state of our nation and the wrongs done to others, but we also need to realize that Jesus isn’t your personal fixer of all things that suck. That is not his job.

I think Rami Shapiro, in his book, “Holy Rascals”, gives us the most powerful definition of people of true faith that I have ever read: “Holy Rascals have only one aim: to pull the curtain back on parochial religion in order to liberate people from the Great and Terrible Wizards who use religion to frighten them into submission and to manipulate them into doing evil under the banner of good.

We are not anti-religion; we are anti-unhealthy religion: a religion that promotes a world of “us against them” and sanctions the exploitation, oppression, and even murder of “them” in this world and the torture of “them” in the next. We are not anti-belief; we are anti-irrational belief: belief that substitutes ancient fiction for modern science. We are not anti-God; we are anti-mad Gods: Gods who sanction the lust for power that rules those who invented them.”

What saddens me more than anything today is the fact that there is such contention and visceral hatred among those who profess to be “Christians”. But, the louder they are, the less like Jesus they are, which is clearly an oxymoron: “Christians” who hate, “Christians” who seek power and prestige, “Christians” who have no empathy or compassion for others. Jesus was the Suffering Servant, not the King of the elitists. “This is my commandment,” said Jesus, “that you love one another as I have loved you.” That’s it.

We are so far removed from the Jesus known to his disciples. When the Church turned him into “Jesus Christ Superstar,” he got lost in the power struggle for whose faith was the true faith. I would say many Christians probably have no idea that it was the Church struggling for power that created the Jesus so many “worship” today. And there’s the rub, I think. Jesus never told us to worship him. He said, “Follow me”. When Jesus said, “Pick up your cross, kid, and follow me.” What do you think he meant? Pick up your bucket and shovel we’re headed to the beach?

Jesus lived and moved and had his being on the fringes of society. He was a revolutionary, a rebel, an outsider among the powerful leaders of his time. Why? Because he loved without regard for position or status or how it looked to others. He loved “the least of these” with abandon. He touched and healed and served the broken – the outcast. And they responded in love, a love that blurred distinctions between us and them, rich and poor, powerful and weak, saint and sinner.

Does that sound anything like what is preached on street corners and in some churches today? Or the hatred spewed by “White Supremacists”? They have tried to remake Jesus into someone who would be unrecognizable to his followers. It is frightening to watch.

Trillia Newbell, an author and Christian commentator, says, “I want to hear that we’re mourning and weeping, that we are active in our community, that we are going to work to love our neighbor as ourselves, that racism and any kind of hate is evil.”

Seeing the humanity of others should teach us compassion. By allowing ourselves to see Jesus in everyone we encounter, we will grow in love for those we usually disregard or, worse, reject outright. Seeing beyond the degenerate, the depraved, the lost, and the broken takes courage, humility, and trust in a God who shows us the beauty in others — and BONUS — in ourselves.

So, there you have it, you macho guys guzzling beer and feeling a bit queasy watching Jesus weep for those who suffer. How do you respond to that? You first need to offer a resounding “YES” to whatever Jesus has in mind for you. That’s it. Easy enough. Right?

Then fasten your seatbelt, brother; this is when the rubber meets the road because God has a plan for you (Jeremiah 29:11), and this probably won’t be an “I’ll get back to you next week” moment either. There’s much to do, and you’re running out of time because you sat on your duff in that bar so long trying to get out of it. Just pray and stay open to your calling. You’ll know it. Then, brave heart, this is your moment! GO!

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Wait…maybe lose the war paint. You don’t want to scare the crap out of people. They have enough to deal with.

Love or Hate – A Moment-by-Moment Choice

by Linda Russell, posted in "Christians" who hate, Boldness in adversity, Follow Me

2020 – a year no one will forget!

We have been inundated for months with “facts” about the virus and the protests. The hatred that seems to be growing daily on every side, no matter what the argument is about, is deafening. That can be frightening…but…we must remember that fear is the ultimate goal of extremists. Fear can have the power to darken and obliterate the very meaning and purpose of our existence if we allow it to.

As I read and try to understand the depth of so many issues we are facing now, there is one that I feel is critical for our future, our children’s future, and America’s future, and it is so basic it should not even be in question – but it is: If I call myself a Believer (it doesn’t matter of what tradition) in the God of all creation, then loving my neighbor is not optional and there should be no place for hatred in my heart.

How about this for a reality check: 1 John 4:20 should thump us all on our hard heads, “If anyone boasts ‘I love God’ and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, HE IS A LIAR (emphasis mine and most likely God’s too). If he won’t love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can’t see?” (The Message). If we continue to pull away from that ONE TRUTH to create our own, we will have lost our way, and, God help us, our children will suffer the consequences.

We will all be called to account for how we choose to live in this world, and it’s pretty likely that for most of us, myself included, it ain’t gonna be pretty. We are messy, selfish, demanding, unforgiving, broken humans – full of ourselves and pumped with ego, with the tiniest bit of empty space for God to squeeze into. Somehow he does. Somehow he continues to love us in spite of ourselves. And somehow, miraculously, he pats me on the head with the greatest of love, mercy, grace, and compassion and says, “Linda, you screwed up again, but I forgive you and long for you to do the same. I love you and long for you to do the same. Like Jesus, you were created to take my light into the darkness. There should be no room for hate in your heart.”

Love is more powerful than hate if we truly believe what we profess! And, that, my friends, is the TRUTH.

You don’t have to believe that Jesus was the Son of God. Maybe you see him as a stand-out Prophet, a great role model, or the most you can muster is a wink and a nod to “Buddy Jesus”.

Buddy Jesus
(By The movie dogma, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=17362087)

We know enough about Jesus’ life to know he didn’t stand behind a bullhorn and threaten hell and damnation for anyone who didn’t do what God expected them to. He led by example. He could have jumped on the bandwagon of the powerful leaders of his day and would probably have had a pretty cushy life, retired with a great pension, and lived into old age. But, that scenario wasn’t going to play out because his love and compassion for those who suffered guided his every thought and action, as it should ours. Are we afraid to ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” when confronted with a moment that challenges our moral fortitude because, deep down, we already know the answer? Ponder that one for a while.

We may not be marched up to a hanging tree, but, we surely should speak and live as fully as we are called to, no matter the consequences. You do realize God is counting on us to do just that, right? I will leave you with these words from Archibald MacLeish’s sermon on Job.

MacLeish asks why God allowed Satan to tear Job’s life apart. He says, “Because God believes it will be demonstrated that Job loves and fears God because He is God and not because Job is prosperous…that Job will still love God and fear Him in adversity, in the worst of misfortunes, in spite of everything. God stakes His supremacy as God upon man’s fortitude and love….Where the nature of man is in question, God has need of man. Only Job can prove that Job is capable of the love of God, not as quid pro quo but for love’s sake, for God’s sake, in spite of everything – in spite even of injustice, even God’s injustice. Only man can prove that man loves God. Man depends on God for all things: God depends on man for one. Without man’s love, God does not exist as God…love is the one thing no one, not even God Himself, can command. It is a free gift, or it is nothing. And it is most itself, most free, when it is offered in spite of suffering, of injustice, and of death. It is in man’s love that God exists and triumphs, in man’s love that life is beautiful, in man’s love that the world’s injustice is resolved. To hold together in one thought those terrible opposites of good and evil which struggle in the world is to be capable of life, and only love will hold them so.”

There…NOW GO!