Finding Faith Amid Uncertainty: A Lenten Reflection

The Lord gives us eyes to see, really see, if (BIG IF) we are willing, open, and present to him. Perhaps this season of Lent will be an opportunity for us to pay attention to what God is doing in the midst of what is frightening us as a nation and as individuals.

For too long, this country has cast God aside in favor of our own wants and desires, rather than concern for others. Things we thought were so important may now be hindering our ability to survive what we’re facing today: so much anger, violence, and uncertainty.

We are in the midst of Lent, yet the empty pews in churches of every faith are a stark reminder that we may have lost the very ground of our being. Perhaps this is the perfect time to find our way back to God – lest we forget how much he sacrificed for us.

How are we actually living our new reality? The answer runs the full spectrum between those who are frightened and immovable, to many who seem to be indifferent, to those who are fighting back.

Yes, these are, and will probably continue to be, trying times as we suffer the physical, emotional, spiritual, and economic impact unlike anything we have ever known. But, hold on…don’t leave me for a stiff drink yet! I have GOOD NEWS. Really!

Here we are experiencing so much uncertainty right in the midst of the most holy season of Lent. We have no idea what the outcome will be, but we do know how the Passion of Christ plays out. So, let me ask you a question: what has the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus meant to you up until now? To make this work, you have to be brutally honest. Okay?

Many faiths observe various practices during Lent. Some have requirements or suggestions for observing this season: fasting and abstinence, unless you’re old like me. We are encouraged to attend services, pray, read scripture, and share our abundance with the poor. Maybe throwing in a confession somewhere if you’re so inclined and riddled with guilt.

We are called, just as his disciples were, to surrender our self-will just as Jesus did when he prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42). And “If anyone wishes to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Matt 16:24).

So, let’s take an honest look at our individual observances of Lent, shall we? I’ll go first:

 • I used to love fish fries when I was still a beer drinker and less concerned about recycled hydrogenated oil – YUCK!
• I do Intermittent Fasting for my health regularly, but my “spiritual” fasting practices are, honestly, pathetic. Okay – non-existent.
 • Going to Church always felt like a requirement to have my card punched once a week. Sort of like getting that sticker we flash around to impress others, “I voted” or “I Gave Blood”.

I gave up my ambition of being Saint Linda and began to give myself to God for His purpose, even though I had no idea what that purpose was. He seemed a bit wiser than I always imagined myself to be.

Okay, guys, I’m standing here with my sins exposed. It’s your turn. Don’t worry, no one’s going to call you out. You don’t have to expose yourself to judgment like I just did. Just take a quiet moment to think about it, and then we’ll move on. Go ahead, I’ll wait right here.

Okay, so Pope Francis offered some powerful words to consider during Lent: “Jesus’ Pasch is not a past event; rather, through the power of the Holy Spirit it is ever present, enabling us to see and touch with faith the flesh of Christ in those who suffer.”

And there it is.

God has been making this call to us since Jesus walked the earth; the call to get off our butts and care for the poor and suffering among us. Jesus was here in the flesh to show us how that should be done. And how do we respond today? Many heed that call, some half-heartedly drop coins in a beggar’s hat, while others simply aren’t listening. Not much has changed in two-thousand-some-odd years, I suppose.

So, let’s consider the three phases of Jesus’ Passion: His life, death, and resurrection, in light of our call to imitate him:

 • His life: Of his thirty-three years here (give or take a few), on the surface, it appears that only the last three were spent
fulfilling his purpose. Three years. That’s it. I’m seventy-seven and hate to admit how many years I have wasted. But Jesus wasn’t wasting his life. He was growing into his purpose.

When I look back on my life: all the mistakes and missteps, the hurt inflicted on me and by me, the selfishness and rejection, there would have been no way for me to be all God created me to be because I didn’t even know who that was. But, I do now! I don’t know how much time I have left here. But it doesn’t matter because time has no meaning for God, so it shouldn’t for us either. Each day is a new opportunity to bring Christ to our suffering brothers and sisters. And it isn’t just a privilege; it’s a responsibility we all have.

 • His death: Jesus knew that his constant presence was a threat to the status quo. He knew that every choice he made to expose the rich and powerful would risk his very life. He didn’t hold back from calling them out with choice words to describe them, even though it surely sealed his fate: “Hypocrites, brood of vipers, prideful, whitewashed tombs, legalists disguising an inner corruption. They preach, but do not practice” (Matt. 23). His death was inevitable.

Most of us will not be called to sacrifice our lives, but we are all called to die to our self-will so that God can use us in whatever way he has already predetermined. That might mean having the courage to step into what may be uncomfortable, probably risky, perhaps even scary. But expect it to be a wild adventure because God doesn’t do ordinary! You know that. Right?

 • His resurrection: When Jesus died, everyone believed they would be returning to their ordinary, mundane lives. Alrighty then, that was a wild and crazy ride! We could liken it to that special vacation we always dreamed about and finally got to experience. The difference is that we probably have pictures to reminisce over; they got nothing, not even a stinkin’ T-shirt to commemorate their time with him.

And for us? Resurrection does not mean a new birth, but a “rebirth”. It means returning to our original holiness. Before we were born, God created us with Love, for Love. Saying “yes” to God means saying “yes” to our true selves and “no” to the lies we have believed about our unworthiness.

Jesus’ Passion was a seeming disaster turned triumph. The conventional thinking of our time is that we can’t handle tragedy and suffering; that we will fall apart and resort to some primal survival instinct. I choose to look instead at the myriad examples of people around the world who are showing love, compassion, and hope. And out of the ashes of disaster comes the gift of the blessedness and fullness of our humanity. Yes, you and I are our brother’s keeper! It’s in our DNA.

This, my dear friends, can be a turning point in what we believe about ourselves and our neighbor, and in what we are capable of in the face of fear and uncertainty, if we trust in the divinity of our very souls, where God resides and where we live and move and have our being. What you believe right now will determine how you act. So, believe and act as if you and everyone around you, friend or stranger, are beloved and precious children of God.

In our new reality, we need to do away with “practicing” our faith and get to the business of “doing”.As I write these words, I fully understand that none of us has any idea how this turmoil in our country will turn out. But, I do know this – God does not cause such chaos. So get that idea out of your head. But he will use it for good!

I love this quote by Rebecca Solnit, “Disaster could be called a crash course in Buddhist principles of compassion for all beings, of nonattachment, of abandoning the illusion of one’s sense of separateness, of being fully present, and of fearlessness…in the face of uncertainty.”

My prayer is that we will take on that mantle of courage and faith now, whatever that looks like, wherever we are.

May God bless and keep you.

May God’s face shine upon you and give you peace.

Who’s Running This Show?: Thoughts to Ponder for Lent

God is in control. No matter what happens, no matter how awful or awesome, no matter who suffers or comes out on top, it’s all God’s plan. Ain’t it grand?!

Sorry, I don’t buy it.

Consider this: God creates Adam and Eve, drops them into this magical garden where they romp through fields of flowers with no cares in the world—got that picture?

Okay, so then almost immediately, they screw it all up by eating that damn apple…O. M. G.!

Personally, if I were going to be cast into the eternal fires of hell for such a minor transgression, I would have held out for Amedei Chocolates – but that’s just me.

You may have thought God knows everything, but according to this story, he clearly doesn’t. As the drama continues, they run and hide, knowing full well they’re in deep trouble and this will not end well for them.

AND… here he comes…the God of the universe, the master control freak, the ultimate planner of all that is.

They all play hide and seek, and God is “it”. “Come on out, you crazy kids. Where are you? I’m gonna look in these bushes now.”

When he finally finds them, he demands they stand before him in their underwear as he brushes off their attempts to beg for forgiveness. Nope. Ain’t happening. He admonishes them for screwing up his perfect plans, then sends them off to suffer a living hell forever and ever.

Then he gets his second wind, “Oh, I’m not finished with you!”

Now, God’s totally exasperated as he acknowledges the failure of his painstaking and grand plan for the universe. He decides to make an example of Adam and Eve. Their sins will be cast upon every child born thereafter, stamped with the seal of “broken mess” right out of the birth canal.  

Maybe then all of humanity will get wind of it, surrender to his will, submit to his “laws”, and behave accordingly. Nope – another big fail. He decides to start over with new characters – maybe reconsidering that whole free will thing – Nope!

Is all this working for you? How about this: “The biblical story of the perfect and finished creation from which we human beings have fallen into “original sin” is pre-Darwinian mythology and post-Darwinian nonsense.” John Shelby Spong

Let me throw another random thought into the discussion: instead of God being a harsh, unyielding authoritarian, what if he were actually submissive? What if he has been surrendering to us all along? What if he never intended to control us? What if that whole Adam & Eve story was just that – a myth created by some inane humans long ago? Stay with me here.

As a child, I was controlled by my mother. She called the shots; she meted out harsh punishments. Ultimately, she determined my worth. As I grew older, she still had power over me. Unworthiness was so embedded in my heart that I continued for years to live out of the belief that I didn’t deserve love – from anyone – especially God. He clearly didn’t care. If he did, I reasoned, he would have saved me from her and others who abused me long ago.

I recall crying out to him in one of my most painful moments of doubt about his love for me: “God, if you loved me, why did you allow my mother and others to abuse me? He spoke into the most broken part of my heart, “Linda, I do love you. When you were being abused, I cried with you. Because of their free will, some people make terrible choices that hurt themselves and others. You have sometimes done the same, but I have never stopped loving you.”

Jesus was the beloved son of God. That we know. God watched the unfolding of his three-year mission. That we also know. Jesus went to him constantly in prayer. We can be pretty sure they discussed how he was making a lot of enemies who were making threats against him in an effort to shut him up. When that didn’t work, they went after him and dragged him to the cross to be crucified. He was beaten and hung there for three hours before he died. WHERE WAS GOD? He was right there suffering the pain and heartache of his son’s death. Something he could not control. Why?

Archibald Macleish offers these powerful words, “Man depends on God for all things: God depends on man for one. Without man’s love, God does not exist as God, only as creator, and love is the one thing no one, not even God himself, can command. It is a free gift, or it is nothing. And it is most itself, most free, when it is offered in spite of suffering, of injustice, and of death. Love – love of life, love of the world, love of God, love in spite of everything – is the answer, the only possible answer, to our ancient human cry against injustice. It is in man’s love that God exists and triumphs, in man’s love that life is beautiful, in man’s love that the world’s injustice is resolved. To hold together in one thought those terrible opposites of good and evil which struggle in the world is to be capable of life, and only love will hold them so.”

If you believe God is this powerful controller of all things, why did he not save his own son? I’m going to leave you with that question to ponder during this blessed season of Lent.

A Drop in Vegetable Sales Ushers in Lent

And so it begins – another Lent – when we give up peas and spinach (my husband’s all-time favorite sacrifice) but not our belief that we are such wretched souls that a vindictive God demanded the death of his Son to fix our pathetic selves.

A bait-and-switch tactic if you ask me. Which is kinda genius if it weren’t for the fact that God knows us witless humans all too well. I mean, it’s not like all of humankind did an immediate about-face and never sinned again. If God really devised this plan (which I don’t believe) to correct the stupidity of Adam and Eve, it didn’t work. We have continued to sin and fall short of the glory of God. So, what would have been the point?

Wouldn’t that supposed “plan” of His have rendered Him incapable of running the Universe? Wouldn’t a higher-up call Him into their office on Monday morning to make an accounting for His actions? “I’m sorry to inform you that the Board has decided to replace you. You’re fired. Please turn in your badge and keys now. Also, I would recommend you not use us as a reference on a resume for future employment.”

Many Christians just can’t seem to let go of the belief that God sent His beloved Son to die for our wretchedness. That belief makes no demands on us. It’s a bit like believing “fortified” Froot Loops are healthy because it says so right on the box. No kids – they’re NOT! So spit them out and go get your mother. I want to have a heart-to-heart with her. Then, if the conversation goes as planned, be prepared for a plate full of broccoli tomorrow morning. If not, you can have your crappy Fruit Loops back!

But I digress…

I hate to admit that I was also comfortable in that “God the Mighty Judge” belief for many years. But eventually, it became impossible for me to accept in light of the God I grew to know intimately. How can anyone “know” God? – you ask? “Knowledge” of God’s love will never get you there. It is only when you experience that Love within the very depth of your heart.

Jesus’ Passion should declare the unbridled love of God for us. The cross should upend any denial that He loves us deeply and obsessively. But, as Hebrews 10:31 tells us, “It’s just way too scary to fall into the hands of the living God” (loose translation). That is not a god we want to snuggle up to. We prefer a god like that unpredictable, crazy uncle we keep at a distance. Genesis 3:8 insists that Adam and Eve ran and hid from that God!

Every year, Lent calls us to look at the cross differently. It’s a perpetual life lesson that keeps showing up forty days a year. Every. Single. Year. Until, hopefully, we “get it”! Sadly, many don’t. It took me years.

Will we ever wake up to the beauty of the cross that goes beyond Jesus’ suffering? I believe that can only be possible through the eyes of faith – illuminated by the grace of a tender, loving God.

For that to happen, we must be willing to fix an unwavering gaze on the cross and realize the true meaning of Jesus’ Passion. We must embrace with faith – even if it’s a bit shaky – the reality that the crucifixion on Friday and the empty tomb on Saturday were necessary for the revelation of the profound mystery that is God manifest through Jesus on Easter Sunday.

My prayer is that you and your loved ones have a very blessed Easter!