Tag: grace

Lessons from a Lunch Interrupted: Rethinking Our Response to theHomeless

by Linda Russell, posted in A Holy Whack, Do Something, Follow Me, grace, If not us, then who?, our homeless neighbor

What is it that bothers us most about that homeless person standing on the corner? In a word – they’re “inconvenient.” They show up and shake our complacency to its core. Why can’t they just stay out of sight, get a job, or stand with their signs somewhere else? Who believes they’re really needy anyway? Or, if we do give them our hard-earned money, they’ll probably use it for drugs or alcohol. Why do we work so hard to justify our negative reactions to them?

I am willing to share my own shameful story here. It happened several years ago, but I have never forgotten it because it taught me a profound lesson. One day, I came to a stoplight at a highway exit. Because I missed the light, I was forced to sit uncomfortably, making every effort to disregard the homeless woman on the corner. It was 104° in the shade, and the light took forever to change! I chose to
ignore her because she’s there a lot, and I have given her money in the past. I didn’t feel obliged this time.

Finally,I pulled away and went straight to Panera Bread for lunch. Panera Bread is my favorite place to eat out. Anyway, as I looked down at my lovely salad, the guilt was so immense I could barely get my food down. Here I was with my hardness of heart exposed, listening remorsefully to God’s admonishments and offering my feeble response, “I’m so sorry, Lord. I did it again. I am so sorry!”


I packed up my half-eaten salad, got in my car, and prayed as I drove toward the overpass where she stood, “Please be there.” She was still there! You would think I won the lottery. I quickly turned around and exited again, where she was standing. All the while, digging in my purse for money. $10? No! This was at least a $20 transgression. Yes, $20. Like God would be more impressed with that. I’m a moron!

When I got to her, I handed her the money, hugged her sweaty, dirty body, returned the blessing she offered me first, and ran back to my car full of self-adulation. However, God wasn’t done with me. This lesson was just beginning. It is said that life repeats its lessons over and over until we get them. And I am, hands down, to God’s dismay, the world’s slowest learner.


That very evening of my encounter with the smelly likes of Jesus, I met with some friends. How we got on the subject of the homeless…only God knows. We barely finished our greetings when my “friend” sitting across from me began to spew her indignation toward those nasty homeless people who have the nerve to interrupt her life! If she was going to give any of them money, she wanted to control what they did with it.


I listened to her rail against them and mumbled under my breath, “Lord, really? Did you set this up? It would be just like you! Fine. Can I get a beer, because this is going to take a while, isn’t it? By the way, have I said how sorry I am that we had to revisit my cold, hard indifference to those you love so deeply?”


I then had an hour’s drive home to ponder it all. In particular, my hesitation to discuss it with the woman at our meeting (she’s not really my friend anyway). The words God spoke to my heart penetrated my very soul, “Woe to you, Linda. You hypocrite! Don’t even think about judging her!” Right, okay, I have no right to judge anyone. But, what I wanted to say to her – I needed to hear myself.

So here it goes…We have our favorite defenses against helping the homeless. The most common seem to be:

  • I can’t help everyone.
  • It’s not my responsibility.
  • I want to know what they are going to do with the money.
  • They’re lazy; they need to get a job.
  • Or, my all-time favorite: Let’s put it on God. – “LORD, WHY DON’T YOU DO SOMETHING?!”


As I considered the reasons we hold our clenched fists so tightly around our measly handful of change, I had a picture of me sitting at a long table. There was a line of homeless people on the other side of the table. Each one approached and stood
there as I grilled them to determine if they were worthy of my precious coins. Most I would usher off to the right, UNDESERVING. A few I would send to the left, DESERVING, where I would hand them a few tokens and expect their undying gratitude.


Then, I saw Jesus sitting at that same table. Now I was in line. I watched as each person approached in trembling anticipation. But, it wasn’t money he was handing out, it was grace. Most he would ruthlessly question, “What have you done to deserve this? What will you do with it? Why should I give it to you?” – then gesture to the right, UNDESERVING. A few would be sent to the left and showered with more grace and blessings than they could contain! I quickly got out of line and ran home to get a suitcase, certain I was going to the left, and prepared to capture all the blessings Jesus would bestow on me. I was pumped!


Finally, I reached the front of the line, and without hesitation, Jesus looked at my pathetic life and gestured to the right, UNDESERVING. Slumped over in disbelief, dragging my empty suitcase behind me, I fell into line with the unworthy masses.


So many of us live our lives in the realm of worthy vs. unworthy. It categorizes who we are, who our neighbors are, and who the poor are. And when we can muster just a smidgen of concern for others, we raise our voice to the heavens in outrage, “Lord, I don’t know how you can just sit there and watch your people suffer.”

What we fail to remember is that God came into our midst to reveal a different reality. He gives and gives abundantly, even to my sorry self. Not one of us is deserving. We ask for his mercy, grace, and forgiveness, and it is ours. There are no lines to stand in. There is no reason to doubt or fear. The abundance of God’s grace is beyond measure. The riches of his generosity have no limits. But we, like the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21-35), quickly forget.


Jesus came to serve. He commissioned His disciples to “feed my sheep.” In Matthew’s gospel (14:13-21), five thousand people converged on Jesus. His disciples insisted that he send them home to feed themselves. And what was Jesus’ reply? “You feed them. You do it!” God provided…and all the people were given their fill, with food to spare.


The fact that there are people starving and dying every day is not because of poor planning on God’s part. It’s because many of us who have been given much give little in return (Luke 12:48). The love God calls us to requires us to love everyone. Loving
them means caring for them and giving generously from our abundance of blessings.

And, for the love of God, stop judging them!

Linda, Listen to ME!

by Linda Russell, posted in "Experiencing" God, A Holy Whack, AHA moments, Consider trials pure joy!, Follow Me, grace, listen to me, surrender, Trusting God, Using our gifts, you are enough
(tenor gif)

I know many people, and I’ll bet you do too, perhaps even you, who can’t believe God has a plan for them. Over the years, I have encountered people who don’t believe me when I tell them my story. “Oh, really?! God told you to do that, huh? Right!”  

To be honest, I wouldn’t have believed it myself if he hadn’t gradually brought me to a place where I could trust him, even if I was fearful and had no idea what he was up to. Which, frankly, is still most of the time.

God has always longed to grow me into the person he meant me to be. It was me resisting, me not being present to him, me missing the mystery and majesty that surrounded me because I was just too busy to notice, or more likely, too afraid. So instead, I skipped along, trying to drown out his voice, “Lalalalalalalala, I can’t hear you!”

For years, there were little promptings that, in hindsight, proved to me he was on the job (Romans 8:28). Then bigger ones that required more trust and offered way more grace than I deserved. God opened my heart in ways I could not have imagined.

Though I still mess up – and often – I know God’s response is out of love for me; his admonishments tell me that he loves me too much to let me stay stuck in my messiness.

 We are so used to being in a world that is loud and demanding of our attention. We busy ourselves filling in uncomfortably quiet places. That’s how we miss God’s “still small voice” or “gentle whisper” (1 Kings 19:12). Sure, he’s good at those show-stopper whirlwinds and earthquakes and fire. Even what I have called 2×4 moments but didn’t leave marks like the ones my mother inflicted.

Because of her, I was always on guard for those “laying down the law” whacks that I expected from God, too, when I messed up. However, I believe he speaks more often through the Spirit’s whispers of pure grace.

We can become so enmeshed in and blinded by the things of this world that we miss our whole purpose for being here. So if you are going through life day after unremarkable day, schlepping through the same routine to ad nauseum – STOP IT! Your life has a purpose that God depends on you to fulfill. You matter that much!

We are all called to holiness, called to use the gifts and talents already given us for God’s kingdom work right here – right now. It just takes awareness on our part. (I would highly recommend Anthony DeMello’s book by the same name, “Awareness”).

Leo Tolstoy’s novel, “The Death of Ivan Ilyich,” considered a masterpiece, was written just after his own “profound spiritual awakening” and conversion experience.

While lying on his deathbed, Ilyich ruminated about the reality that his entire life was superficial and self-serving, and he profoundly stated, “Maybe I didn’t live as I should have done.” In the end, he posited a question that Tolstoy must have pondered himself, “What if I really have been wrong in the way I’ve lived my whole life, my conscious life?” Oops, a little late, buddy!

It was too late for Ilyich, but not Tolstoy. He discovered his purpose and rejected his aristocratic life to follow Jesus’ teachings – particularly the Sermon on the Mount. Years later, his writings had a profound impact on Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., and countlessothers.

Soooooo, what are you waiting for? You must still be breathing, or you wouldn’t be reading this. That’s a start. Incredibly, no matter how you lived your life to this point, it’s not too late to begin again. New beginnings are God’s specialty!

“To infinity and beyond!” God coined that phrase, you know. Don’t believe me? HUMPH! Check out Ephesians 3:20, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” 

Alrighty then, you’re pumped and ready to go, right? You’ve packed your sandals and camel hair coat and checked Google Maps – for what? A sign from God?

(free bible images)

Stop! Take a deep breath. Maybe start by sitting quietly with God and waiting.

Don’t look to anyone else to give you a formula or a checklist to send you on your way to your destiny. But I willtell you this: You cannot love and serve others (which is our greatest calling) until you can love yourself.

And you can’t love yourself by utilizing any of the myriad self-help books on the market. You can only do that by growing in the knowledge that you are deeply and passionately loved first by the God who created you!

And you can only do that by being in relationship with him, which requires your time and attention. You are his son/daughter with whom he is well-pleased (Matthew 17:5). Let that sink in. We are all deeply loved sinners. It’s high time we act like it, don’t you think?

Absolutely, go to church, take the time to read scripture, and pray, But mostly, LISTEN! Geeeezzzzz, we’re so bad at listening.

Living in Scary and Uncertain Times: Finding Solace in Galatians 5:22-23

by Linda Russell, posted in Uncategorized

This post started out differently than what you’re seeing here. I intended to simply write about the Fruits of the Spirit and most of the content came directly from my book. Then, I received a “holy prompting” to focus it on the present reality of the violence, hatred, and fear we are daily inundated with.

 Yes, we are living in scary and uncertain times, which is likely causing so many to hide behind locked doors, have the groceries delivered, skip church or any crowds, and throw up frantic prayers to God.

Which makes this a perfect opportunity to delve into Galatians 5:22-23. I have long felt it was the most poignant of all of Scripture and has so much to tell us today.

Imagine God inspiring the writer(s) of these verses and being pleased with their work. Then, sitting back crosses his fingers and hoping we choose wisely because he has no control over our decisions.

We are daily challenged to decide between:

Love or hate

Joy or misery

Peace or worry

Patience or agitation

Kindness and gentleness or malice

Self-Control or instability

So, let’s go…

LOVE

Does love have limits? Many of us carry scars of past pain and hurt that play out in our lives daily and affect how we treat others. I swore I would never be like my mother – does that sound familiar?

When love is conditional, it is worldly, shallow, and indifferent. It can easily transform into hatred. From that perspective, we watch closely for others to screw up just once, and we’re done with them.

We seem to forget that God’s immense love and grace have no expiration date. “Oops, your get-out-of-jail-free card has expired. Sorry.”

He longs to help us love those that we find humanly impossible to like—even ourselves at times. But here’s the key: I can learn to love only when I have accepted God’s love myself.

Know the Difference: worldly love wears the sheepskin of an “if it feels good” mentality over the wolf that devours childhood innocence, destroys relationships, makes compassion a burden, and muddies the pure waters of selfless love created by God (1 Cor. 13:4-8).

JOY

“Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth; break forth in song, rejoice, and sing praises.” (Psalm 98:4)

A common response to the idea of joy might be something like this: “News flash, dufus, joy is the noise made by fools who don’t have a clue what is going on in the world.”

All right, fair enough (no need to call me names). I actually do know about the terrible things happening in the world today: anger, violence, and hatred. I also know about a man who suffered an indescribable death at the hands of those who wrongly accused him of a crime. He was beaten, spit on, and mocked. Then, he was nailed to a cross as many watched him slowly suffocate and die.

We know the life stories of those who have and continue to follow Jesus’ example. Do you think for one moment they would sign up for that if they were following a fool? They knew that the only way to bring nonbelievers to Christ was to live joyfully because no idiot would follow someone who spewed bad news on a regular basis.

So, what about us? Suffering has a purpose, and when you discover that truth for yourself, as I finally did after many years, hopefully, you will have arrived at a place where you, too, can shout for joy and share the Good News with others.

Joy is the oasis of laughter in the desert of loneliness. It is a caring touch coming through the locked door of a broken heart. It is peering through tear-stained eyes into an empty tomb. Pain and suffering are temporary. Joy is eternal.

PEACE

If I wanted true peace in my life, I would have to let go of the anger and lashing out. I would have to recognize the part I played in my own misery, and I would have to release the people who were on the receiving end of all the pain and hurt that was bottled up inside of me. Did I turn some people away from God because there was no peace in my life? 

One of Jesus’ final acts was to offer his disciples peace, and they were going to need it! “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.” 

Have you known someone in your life who radiates peace? If you are wise, you will do everything, short of stalking them, to be in their company, to glimpse through them the very nature and essence of God, which is peace, and then claim it for yourself.

PATIENCE

Today, patience is a dinosaur, and if it doesn’t come in a pill form, we aren’t interested. I want it now! I don’t want to feel it. I don’t want to deal with it. Give me a pill, a distraction, or a bus ticket out of here.

A display of patience we might tolerate would be something like a gentle nudging to wait your turn, wait for your elderly grandmother to catch up, wait for a phone call. Just a small interruption in our daily routine may be okay.

The word patience literally means to suffer and endure. If that’s true, then how much would be required of us to be in a relationship with someone who is unbearable or endure intolerable circumstances? Yet that is exactly what God is asking of us when he calls us to patience, to suffer, and bear the burdens of life.

We excuse ourselves when we fail to be Christ-like to others, yet we expect God to be all-loving, all-forgiving, and all-patient with us. “Well, God’s a bigger man than I am.”  So, you’re comfortable with that excuse, are you?

But hold on. I have some good news for you. God doesn’t demand anything from us that he will not give us the power—his power—to achieve. So why is God so patient with us? He knows our human frailties and longs for us to trust him. He longs to shower us with blessings and guide us through all the obstacles this world presents to us.

A question we are called to ask ourselves: is my impatience a stumbling block to others?

KINDNESS & GENTLENESS

What are the prejudices and injustices we perpetrate on others because of our pride, pious attitudes, and forgetfulness of just how imperfect we are?

If we thought about it, we could all probably recall at least one person in our lives whom we have distanced ourselves from because of struggles in our relationship. That person may be as close as our living room couch.

We are often so determined to stay focused on the hurt we endure from others that we’ll stay there as long as it takes to make that person suffer. But, you know what? That person is a child of God, just like we are. That person is likely broken, just like we are. It’s time to let them off the hook.

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind.” Brad Meltzer

GOODNESS

“Everyone feels benevolent if nothing happens to be annoying him at the moment.” C. S. Lewis

I learned a few tricks from my mother, who was the master of masking. She was from the old school of “What would the neighbors think?” When you walked out the door, you left the dark family secrets behind and played the game in public.

And, oh, the games we play, the lies we tell. But the real tragedy, I believe, is that we think we’re faultless, even though our sins tell a different story. Goodness doesn’t seem to be on the same scale as holiness, does it? I think I could rationalize myself into the category of good, but I would have a tough time comparing myself to Mother Theresa (don’t think I haven’t tried!).

I believe most people really want to do good, but we are constantly in a battle. That’s why Galatians 6:9 says, “Don’t grow weary doing good.”

Our true character is who we are when no one is looking.

Now comes the proverbial question, “Why should I?”  The answer is that being good, especially to our enemies, can bring far greater rewards than treating them the way we think they deserve to be treated. And if you still need convincing, go back to the cross for a reminder of what loving your enemy looks like.

Now, go love that jerk …oops…child of God.

FAITHFULNESS

God’s faithfulness is steadfast, but what about ours? I can only relate to you what has brought me to a place where I know faithfulness means far more than I was ever willing to admit. That didn’t happen as a result of one miraculous event: No burning bush, no parting of the sea, no Lazarus-like miracle, just a journey, a very long journey, to a patient and loving God.

How do we rationalize our indifference to the horror of what took place at Calvary? Could it be that we trivialize Jesus’ suffering to make our meager sacrifices appear to be significant and our sins acceptable? Thus, Jesus becomes a warm fuzzy, and we’re off the hook.

Trivialize this…“Take up your cross and follow Me.” (Mark 8:34) Oh boy, here we go. This is where we disconnect.

We know the kind of men the apostles were before Jesus died. They were a bunch of misfits. They doubted, they questioned, and they fell asleep when he asked them to stay awake and pray with him. Then, they ran away when he was taken to be hanged. But they knew they screwed up big time!

Now, here they are in the Upper Room after Jesus is buried, eleven men lost in confusion and grappling with their weakness; their denial. Then Jesus shows up. And what are his first words? “Peace to you.” (Luke 24:36) 

When Jesus said, “Anyone who wants to take up his cross and follow Me, anyone who wants to suffer the same fate as Me, step forward.”  They did. All of them. There would be no turning back now. No running, no denying. The cock could crow till the cows came home, and not one would falter. Not this time.

Now it’s our turn. Certainly, most of us will not be called to martyrdom. But, we are called, though, to die in our own selfish, self-centered ways. We are called to be different, to suffer if need be. We must stop asking, “Why me, Lord?” and accept our trials with faith and trust that God is right there with us to turn our sorrows into joy.

SELF-CONTROL

Everything that Satan is behind—those worldly things that we call pleasure are really his skillfully disguised handiwork. Each time we justify the smallest sin, we become insensitive to the fact that it actually is sin.

For all those who have been deceived into believing that there is such an excusable thing as a “tiny indiscretion,” those are the lies of Satan that keep us out of a relationship with God.

While we’re on the subject, we would do well to look at all areas that we excuse but God does not. Have we been lulled into a belief that there is nothing wrong with what we are doing? What has happened to our consciences?

Leo Tolstoy, in his essay, The Lion and the Honeycomb, Why Do Men Stupefy Themselves? explains: “What people most want is not that their consciousness should work correctly; it is that their actions should appear to them to be just.”

God says in 1 John 5:3, “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.” Seriously? They seem awfully burdensome to us, don’t they? But as Christians, we are called to be disciplined in our lives. Until we can give everything to God; until we can come to a place where we are “seeking the Kingdom of God first” (Matthew 6:33), we will repeatedly fail. That’s why self-control is not self-alone.

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER

Following Christ does take a great amount of discipline, and it is only possible through him. To everyone who feels battle-scarred right now, whether those battles of life have only been skirmishes or they have been “all-out, fight-to-the-death, take-no-prisoners” wars, take heed.

We don’t make a one-time – this is it – I surrender – commitment to Christ and then throw ourselves a party. If you think all your sinfulness will instantly be eradicated when you do that, you’re gonna fall hard, smack your loser head, and go join the circus.

Come back here. Don’t do that. Just fall on your bruised knees, seek forgiveness from a merciful and loving God, and start over. You can do this! God created you and equipped you to do this.

Jesus: I’m Back! Did You Miss Me?

by Linda Russell, posted in Boldness in adversity, Consider trials pure joy!, Easter, Energized by hope, fear, Lent, Good Friday, Easter, the Pascal Mystery, Resurrection
(I couldn’t find the source of this image)

I think it’s fair to say that this Easter will be like no other, and I would like to think of that as a good thing – eventually – hopefully. For sure, we are bombarded daily with news that is frightening for us and the world around us. We struggle to see any good coming out of it. But, stay with me here.

I’m going to assume that this Easter’s preparations will likely be stripped of the non-essentials we always focused on in the past: new outfits, haircuts, hidden eggs. Although a review of proper behavioral expectations for the kids at church, “how to stay awake” for adults, and making up tiny sins suitable to hide the deeper embarrassing stuff for the annual confession may still be in order.

So, in light of where we’re at in this fearful and uncertain time, how about we take a new look with fresh eyes at the unfolding of Easter week? And remember, it was also a week that revealed humanity at its worst and its best. What might that mean for us today?

We begin with Palm Sunday. Those crowds were lovin’ on Jesus the Prophet on his way to becoming their anticipated King who would finally save them. Christ was celebrated as the One who would bring his people out of captivity. They were enthralled with him. The cheering was almost deafening, sorta like opening day at Busch Stadium. But, remember, these were his faithful followers, and it was all palms and rose petals.

Then it all went sideways as he went to Jerusalem to encounter a not-so-supportive crowd. What a different picture, huh? Here he’s among the political elite, the leaders of the temple, who know enough about him by now to fear and hate him.

So, the chief priests and elders meet to plot against him. They know they have to get him away from his faithful followers first. “But not during the Feast,” they said, “or there may be a riot among the people.” (Matthew 26: 3-5).

And how about those disciples who vowed never to leave him at the height of his ministry? We know James and John made it clear they wanted to have an honored place next to him when he came into his glory (Mark 10:35-37). Perhaps the rest thought they already had that favored position all sewn up. But then they all scattered and ran for cover when he was taken away to be crucified. “This is not what we signed up for!”

In very short order, He was convicted and dragged before an angry crowd who screamed for his crucifixion, and they probably didn’t even know why. How many do you suppose just got caught up in the moment and didn’t realize until afterward what they had participated in – the torture and murder of an innocent man they would later discover was PRETTY SPECIAL?

Then at the Cross on Good Friday, we watch horrified as Jesus suffers an unspeakable death, and his mother suffers in silence.

On Saturday, the waiting begins as we are called to silently contemplate what has happened. But, unlike the disciples, we already know that his glorious resurrection is coming. We used to believe that peace on earth would prevail. But now that truth seems to have been morphed by fear and the unknown.

So, will our waiting for Jesus’ return now be spent like all the rest these past few weeks trying to numb ourselves to what we imagine is coming instead? Where’s the peace in that?

We usually only have the capacity to think our hearts are at peace when everything is perfect: our relationships are perfect, our kids are perfect, and the mother-in-law moved away (oops, not nice). But even, or especially, in these times when fear will try to overwhelm you, don’t let that happen!

Take heart because the resurrection is only a day away. God is ready to prove to you that nothing and no one has the power to thwart his plans for us. He wants us to believe in the depth of our hearts that his love for us will never fail and that we are stronger, braver, and more resilient than we ever imagined! (Which will come in handy when your mother-in-law has to move back in with you).

As Alan Cohen tells us in his book, A Course in Miracles Made Easy, “No person, group, situation, or condition has the power to take away your happiness. NO ONE. NO THING. NEVER. The experience of joy is your God-given right. People can try to remove your happiness, but they cannot remove your peace unless you give them that power.”

Let’s not forget that the waiting on Saturday for the disciples was stressful, to say the least! They all sat with regret knowing they did the unthinkable by abandoning Jesus and running away. Did they wish they could have a do-over? I would think they must have.

I think I read somewhere that at that fish fry, Jesus reminded them of the Last Supper, “Hey guys remember the great time we had then?” – since they all seemed to have forgotten. “Remember how I washed your nasty feet?” Then he reiterated his call to them to love one another (John 13:34). “And just so we’re clear…that was not a suggestion.” I wonder if any of them choked on their food at that point.

Now, what about us? Here we are, kind of like the disciples, in the midst of what is surely one of the most uncertain times of our lives. And, funny thing, God is still here, still loving and merciful and compassionate. But where are we? Big question.

How many of us have been running from him all our lives? Oh sure, we have been going through the motions of being a “Christian,” mostly to impress others. But what have we done as Christ’s followers? How have we been Christ to others?

So, this Easter, maybe more than ever, we need to let the light of the Risen Christ shine in and through us for those who are lost and alone. That is God’s hope and greatest longing.“ “Look,” ”He says on Easter morning, “I never left you, and I never will. So, stop trying to hide from me. Let’s sit together and get to know each other. What else do you have to do?”

(anonymous)

I think that’s what God is trying to teach us so we can pass it on to others who have become frozen with fear. Just imagine what beauty, joy, and peace would be created in our lives and the lives of those around us!

THIS IS OUR TIME. THIS IS OUR CALL TO LOVE! AND WHO KNOWS BUT THAT WE WERE CREATED FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS (Esther 4:14).

AMEN AND HALLELUJAH!

THIS IS GONNA BE EPIC!!

HAVE A BLESSED AND JOYOUS EASTER, EVERYONE!

The Journey to Realness: Transforming Pain into Beauty

by Linda Russell, posted in AHA moments, Boldness in adversity, Consider trials pure joy!, embrace change, forgiveness, grace, Healing, Humility, life's trials, occasions of grace, Our Imperfection, Uncategorized

I have wasted a great deal of time lamenting my aging body. If I ever had ambitions of being a swimsuit model, that’s off the table. You’re welcome!

The wrinkles and bags seem to multiply by the day. It’s why I never want my picture taken. I figured that when I die, and my kids put together that poster board of memories, the “latest” photo of me will be a Glamour Shot from thirty years ago!

Every seasonal change prompts me to donate clothes I don’t wear, haven’t worn for the past ten years, and will likely never fit into again. When I’m finished, the “pile” of items usually consists of a pair of socks someone gave me for Christmas. That’s it. Because – well – maybe I’ll lose weight next year. Hope springs eternal!

My frequent adventures into reality never end well, as they usually prompt me to eat copious amounts of chocolate! Until yesterday, when I read a meditation by my all-time favorite author and human, Kate Bowler. It was titled “Becoming Real”, in which she shares her creation of the “Gospel of the Velveteen Rabbit.” It brought me to tears – good and bad.

Bowler tells us how sad the rabbit is because he’s so worn from being drug around through life. He’s become tattered and torn and fears he’ll be cast aside. No longer his beautiful, fluffy, shiny self. His buddy, the Skin Horse, who’s been around much longer and is much wiser, tells him, “That’s how you become real.”

Bowler explains, “We become real through our wear and tear. By healing from the cruelty we didn’t deserve. By being loved imperfectly and loving imperfectly. In both, we change and keep changing. As the Skin Horse explains, ‘Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off (check), and your eyes drop out (kinda), and you get loose in the joints and very shabby (check and check). But these things don’t matter because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.’”

As I reflected on this meditation about the beauty of “being Real,” I realized how much I have focused on the wrong things. I spent so much time lamenting my childhood, the abuse of my mother, the sexual abuse, feelings of being invisible because none of my teachers ever questioned my acting out in school, and an attempted suicide in my twenties. I never allowed myself to see the inner beauty that has made me “Real.”

The transformation of a self-centered, angry, lost little girl to the person God created me to be from the beginning should be a cause for celebration! Has that erased all the bad memories? No. But it has helped relegate them to the past, where they no longer affect my sense of who I am, my worth, and my dignity.

I would not be caring or thoughtful of myself or others, drawn towards serving others, or know how much I have to be grateful for had I not accepted this journey. Even with all its rough patches and dark places, it has made me more joyful and fulfilled than I ever could have imagined.

Oh, believe me, I have many moments of admonition from God when I screw up. More than I care to admit. But my heart is open to seeing my faults and correcting them quickly. I can only do that through a newfound humility and the grace of God.

God’s Audacious Promise of Hope Always Fulfilled

by Linda Russell, posted in Boldness in adversity, Consider trials pure joy!, Energized by hope, fear, Good News, hope

This post shares quotes from others I admire so much—those who may or may not have always had hope in God’s promises when the world was saying something very different. But they persevered, and so can we!

There are about 80+ Bible verses telling us not to be afraid! But here we are—afraid of what is happening in the world today—shutting ourselves off and preparing for the apocalypse. What I’m hoping is that we can all take a deep breath and get on with the business of abundantly living our lives and helping others to do the same.

Let’s start with Hebrews 10:22-23 (Msg), “So let’s do it—full of belief….Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word.” There’s nothing ambiguous about that.

Richard Rohr:

“We are energized by the hope of God’s promises. What gives us the energy and power to keep moving is the promise, the dream, the vision of what could be and what’s beyond the moment….they’re not always what we expect or hope for, and so God calls us a little further. This is the way that divine love stretches our hearts. God’s promises energize and expand the heart, deepening our capacity for life and our quality of being in this world. That’s what the promises of God do—lead us to the experience of deeper life.”

Desmond Tutu:

Dear Child of God, before we can become God’s partners, we must know what God wants for us. “I have a dream,” God says. “Please help Me to realize it. It is a dream of a world whose ugliness and squalor and poverty, its war and hostility, its greed and harsh competitiveness, its alienation and disharmony are changed into their glorious counterparts, when there will be more laughter, joy, and peace, where there will be justice and goodness and compassion and love and caring and sharing.”

Dan Rather:

“Let us hope that we stand up to those who would wreak havoc and death. Let us hope that we continue to try to find ways to lessen suffering so that violence doesn’t feel like the only option for those who are desperate. Let us never give up on yearning for peace.

The pull of our humanity is what gives us a reason to smile when we see what is good and beautiful in our world. But it also is what provokes such sadness when we know others are in pain. We need to hold onto both the good and the bad so we can hold onto each other. We need to remember all that we have in common as we try to cope with the difficult realities of life.”

Thomas Merton:

“We did not come here to breathe the rarified air beyond the suffering of this world. We came here to carry the suffering of the whole world in our hearts. Otherwise, there’s no validity in living in a place like this.”

Martin Luther King:

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’

I have a dream that one day, on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood.”

Henri Nouwen:

“Hope is willing to leave unanswered questions unanswered and unknown futures unknown. Hope makes you see God’s guiding hand not only in the gentle and pleasant moments but also in the shadows in disappointment and darkness.”

And…last but not least:

No Line Here for Returns

Featured by Linda Russell, posted in a new Christmas, God's return policy, Our Imperfection, Return to Me

Okay, you got through Thanksgiving with only mild indigestion brought on by that obnoxious uncle of yours. You wanted so badly to act on your impulse to go for his juggler, but you didn’t…because that would have pissed off your mother, which, in turn, would have pissed off your father…because he would have had to listen to it after everyone left!

Then, you managed a Black Friday shopping spree that turned into an all-nighter…because you stopped at the bar to drown your annual sorrows in the beer you bought with your last few bucks…because you’ll be dragging your sorry-self home to an empty house…because your dog doesn’t even like you and runs and hides when you walk in the door.

So now, you’re sitting surrounded by random crappy gifts for people you don’t even like, who will return them after Christmas….because they don’t like you either….because of your continuous fighting over stupid political issues that you don’t even remember….because that’s how your life has spiraled out of control. Which seems to have begun when you walked away from church…because of something daft the pastor said about the monetary requirements for heaven right before the basket was passed around.

So now, take a deep breath…because right on the heels of your worst Thanksgiving ever will be the likely coming of your worst Christmas ever: Same shitshow, different day…because you can’t seem to muster the humility to stand before God where there’s no line, no waiting, no need to explain where you’ve been. He knows – duh!

All God’s asking from you is a sincere apology, an honest effort to change, and a willingness to unload the gun, tear up the next hate letter you were about to mail and delete all the anonymous posts from Facebook – ALL OF THEM!

Because…this could change the course of your entire pathetic life! This could actually make you want to wake up in the morning – volunteer at a soup kitchen – cut your neighbor’s grass – or take that crabby uncle out to lunch for no reason. Or all of the above…BECAUSE – you have finally discovered that God gave your life meaning and purpose before you even existed, and now he wants to help you fulfill it!

And why, you ask, would you even think that it would be possible to return your wretched, messy, used-up, broken self to God? Surely there’s an expiration date on returns not in “like new” condition.

Because that’s how God rolls! He forgives, he forgets, and he’s wildly and shamelessly in love with you right there in your mess. I know, crazy, huh?! And he makes all things new! That’s right – even you!

Don’t Like Your Story? – Change it!

Featured by Linda Russell, posted in A Holy Whack, AHA moments, Consider trials pure joy!, God's plan, Life's Choices, life's trials

In the immortal words of Mike Tyson, “Everyone has a plan till you get punched in the face”. That, I believe, is the moment you realize those plans are not serving you well, that your life is out of control, and no one is coming to rescue you.  

Sooooo….

  • You have to take control of your own life if you want to start waking up to your purpose.
  • You will never have a good relationship with anyone until you change your relationship with yourself. That requires honesty and self-love.

We are so skilled at blaming others for our unhappiness: an abusive parent, that mean third-grade teacher, God, whoever.

Looking in the mirror is not an option because that would be way too scary. Instead, we allow our ego to run roughshod over us and keep us under its control. But looking in the mirror is the starting point to change.

It’s like standing on burning coals, crying out to God to take away the pain, and then being angry with him for not doing it. Just move your damn feet!

Vance Morgan speaks to our flaws and faults we try to hide, “ … What if there are some parts of my “self” that I hide because I don’t like them because they might reveal character flaws and weaknesses that I would prefer no one know about?”  Never mind that everyone does know about them. They’re pretty obvious by the way we interact with others.

And besides, we all have flaws and faults. We can sit in judgment of everyone who makes messes in our lives. But at the end of the day, we must turn that anger toward our own sinfulness.

Years ago, I read a book by Cherie Carter-Scott titled, “IF LIFE is a GAME, THESE are the RULES”. She explains that our life’s lessons are repeated as often as it takes to learn them. Then, we can move on to new lessons.

Those people in your life who seem to hurt your feelings repeatedly? Lessons.

Those people who get on your last nerve? Lessons.

If we are willing to reflect on the triggers they cause, we will see what the universe constantly tries to show us.

Believe me, after all the years that I whined and cried about the unfairness of my life, of the constant dumping of other people’s crap into my lap, I could finally see I was reacting to the actions of others that reside within myself. It wasn’t pretty.

When it finally became too much to bear, and I fell into the grace of God with all the humility I could muster (which wasn’t much), something unexpectedly changed my focus and, in turn, my life. It began with my working with teenagers who, truth be told, I didn’t even like very much at the time.

I started a youth group at my church, thinking I would be doing them a favor. Aren’t I awesome, and don’t you love me to pieces because I’m doing this for you? It took God a while to get through my hard head as to why I was doing it. I needed my hurting ego fed. But the kids were very accommodating, and my ego was getting all the attention it longed for – until it wasn’t. It was pretty pathetic.

When you invest so much time and energy in something so shallow it inevitably collapses in on itself. Which is what happened to me. Then, there was a sudden breakthrough concerning the immense difference between taking and giving. Constantly taking is draining, while giving without expectations is fulfilling beyond imagining.

I believe it was then that I grew to love those, sometimes obnoxious, teens for no reason except that God loved them. That moment changed the trajectory of my life and showed me that I indeed had a purpose, that I was not the center of the universe, and the only person making me miserable was – well – me.

Though my purpose has changed and evolved over the years, the fullness of heart I feel comes only from God and from listening to him. Even when I wonder if he has lost his mind!

My life, thus far, has been an amazing and often surprising adventure. It has not been without its share of heartaches and disappointments. But through it all, God has never left me, or misguided or disappointed me.

So, if you are in a place in your life where you feel stuck in your messiness and trapped in your hurt and anger towards others you think have ruined your life – I implore you to stop. God has a plan for you. I know that for a fact. He’s waiting for you to let go of that over-burdening ego and allow him to guide your life. You will not regret it.

Those God wants to send you to serve are waiting and hoping for exactly what your gifts can bring into their lives. And isn’t that better than being continually “punched in the face”?!

All You Need is Love – dootdadododo

by Linda Russell, posted in "Christians" who hate, Do you love Me?, God is LOVE, life's trials

The world offers many different expressions of love: “I love mint chocolate chip ice cream!” (Actually, that’s true.) “I love your new car!” “I love shopping!” Love can be humorous, as when Miss Piggy floats across a field of flowers, heart beating wildly, feeling weak in the knees, stomach all a-flutter, shrieking, “Ohhhhhh, Kermie!”

(Tenor GIF)

Worldly love can come with no expectations or commitments: “I used to love you when you were thin and had more hair!” or, “Well, I could have loved you, but your ex-wife got all your money, and, well, I have needs!” or, “You didn’t tell me I had to love your kids too!”

That kind of love can be found merely by seeking our own desires, which we believe no one has a right to deny us, and it’s just as rewarding to love things as people.

Unfortunately, that mentality devours childhood innocence, destroys relationships, shrugs off compassion, and muddies the pure waters of selfless love. As long as we seek love from the things of this world, we will always come up lost and empty for our efforts.

How do so many of us get it so wrong so often? Perhaps it’s because our meager understanding of love is based on our personal, human experiences. I often ask myself, “Self, what is your problem? Why do you struggle so much? Why can’t you let go of your past? Why is it so difficult for you to trust God, to accept His love and your inherent worth?” Perhaps my ego has been too big, my fear too overwhelming, and my God too small.

But by the grace of God, I am gradually seeing my failure to truly love and my fear of accepting love. God does not fit neatly into the image I created. He refuses to patronize me when I cry out, “Lord, Lord!” It’s as though He’s saying, “Your cries are muted by your deafening indifference, Linda. Your faith is lukewarm, and, need I remind you, how I hate lukewarm?!” (Revelation 3:16)

Richard Rohr puts it into perspective for me, “It is in doing it wrong, being rejected, and experiencing pain that we are led to total reliance upon God….God has let me do just about everything wrong, so I could fully experience how God can do everything so utterly right….If we expect or need things (including ourselves) to be perfect or even “to our liking,” we have created a certain plan for a miserable life.”

Phillip Newell tells us, “Within us – as a sheer gift of God – is the capacity to bring forth what has never been before, including what has never been imagined before. Deep within us are holy, natural longings for oneness….We may live in tragic exile from those longings, or we may have spent a whole lifetime not knowing how to truly satisfy them, but they are there at the heart of our being, waiting to be born afresh….When we love, we bring the very essence of our being into relationship with the essence of the other.” (The Rebirthing of God, p. x, xvi)

There are rare moments in my life when I experience a great and mysterious intensity. Perhaps that is the longing Newell speaks of. I recall someone else calling it those thin places where we feel God’s presence most profoundly. I can’t describe the emotions except that they are overwhelming, and somehow I know God is working in this messy heart of mine.

When I start to judge others, I sense God’s tug on my heart to “see” them as He sees them; to look beyond their actions to their hearts where He resides. The peace that it brings to my own heart is beyond words!

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 tells us, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”

There are some attributes of love I would like to focus on: “Love suffers long” and “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”.

Love suffers long

Okay. We’re already in trouble. We don’t want to suffer; we want the antidote! We want something to fix the problem. As human beings – even Christians – we really hate to suffer. Actually, many Christians believe God should protect them from suffering.

Scripture tells us of God’s deep longing for those who turn away from Him. This is not a God who cannot wait to punish us for our sinfulness. Instead, He longs to lavish us with His love despite our sinfulness.

Just as Jesus’ suffering and dying brought many sinners to salvation, and the apostles’ suffering and martyrdom brought others to God, our willingness to suffer well, whatever comes our way, is a witness to the power of God’s love in a broken world.

I have a friend whose marriage is terribly difficult. She has often threatened divorce. But God spoke to the depth of her heart that it was within her marriage that she would grow to be more like Him. It’s easy to love a newborn baby, a tiny puppy, or the perfect mother you’ve been blessed with. But what about those imperfect people?

Do you find yourself glaring at that lump of a husband on your sofa – you know, the one who’s guzzling beer and belching show tunes – and wondering where you went wrong? Then there’s that snarky neighbor you secretly wish would fall off the face of the earth.

There always seems to be someone anxious to make messes in our lives. Can’t we do something to make him or her pay? Don’t we have the right? The answer is a simple but emphatic “No!” God will handle that person, not us. Definitely not us.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

When your wife comes home drunk…again, when your child is arrested on drug charges, when your cancer returns, when your aging parents make continual demands on you, who do you turn to? When you can’t lift your head off the pillow to face another day – how do you bear up, believe, hope, and endure all things? How do you go on when you cry out to God in despair but receive no answer?

You have to believe, truly believe, that the God of mercy loves you immeasurably. Nothing you suffer is lost to God’s watchful, loving care. No part of your life is without purpose. In the book of Genesis, God called Abraham to slay his beloved son Isaac. Could I have trusted God that much? No anonymous tipster in this story whispers, “Pssst, Abe! Just go along with it. He’ll stop you at the last minute. Trust me.” Nope, it didn’t happen that way. Abraham completely trusted God.

We can find incredible stories of people who have suffered persecution and abject loss throughout history. Yet, countless people have survived the unthinkable by believing in God’s promises and trusting in His love. From the darkness of despair comes the dawn of grace.

When we can’t see God or hear Him in the midst of our pain, we need to believe that His love for us is at the core of our being. “Blessed are those who suffer well and hope for things unseen, for theirs is the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 13:13). In suffering, we are comforted by God and, in turn, learn to comfort others.

What if Jesus’ story had been different? What if he had gone to the cross, kicking and screaming? He certainly had the right. He was being persecuted relentlessly. He had done nothing but love his Father and humankind during his life, and for that flawless behavior, he was crucified. He could have retaliated with an army of angels, but he didn’t. Instead, he was stripped, spat upon, mocked, and killed. He could have cursed his enemies to Hell. Instead, he prayed for them.

The world repaid Jesus’ love with hatred in the form of a cross. But the nails didn’t hold him there; love held him there. He chose to forgive in his final act of mercy: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34). 

Jesus’ final hours speak volumes about my rejection of atonement theology. So many believe that Jesus had to die to atone for our sins. I’m sorry, I don’t buy it. I believe too many of us subscribe to the teaching that God’s anger over our sins required Jesus’ death. Doesn’t that create an image of a God bent on punishment who can’t wait for us to screw up? I keep imagining that Wack-A-Mole game. No thanks.

GOD IS LOVE…PERIOD. And because we were created in His image and loved beyond measure, we must also be that love to others. Jesus’ last command to us was to love. When did he tell us to hate, judge, and flip off that jerky neighbor? The last words out of Jesus’ mouth were to forgive, not to condemn.

My mother-in-law (God rest her beautiful soul) could offer you a perfect example of why God calls us to love. She bore the pain of losing a younger sister to cancer and the death of a beloved son. She struggled through a difficult marriage and other challenging relationships. And then I came along.

Forty-three years ago, I stood before her in a short skirt, a long wig, a seven-year-old daughter by my side, and a heathen attitude in my heart. I was self-centered and demanding. I resented the occasions when my husband would stop to see her after work. I was jealous.

For those and other reasons, she could have done what everyone else in my life had done – she could have rejected me or struck out at me. I would have understood that reaction; I was accustomed to it. But instead, she chose to love me despite my attitude.

Soon I could feel myself being drawn to her. She had something I wanted, and I didn’t even know what it was. But after being in her company and experiencing her selfless love for others – and for me – I was hooked. That was the beginning of my long (still ongoing) journey of change.

If I hadn’t experienced her love first-hand, I would most likely still be self-absorbed and wearing those dreaded short skirts (probably not a good idea for a sixty-eight-year-old grandmother!). I can imagine her reunion with God, “Come on, give us a hug, Catherine! Thank you for so brilliantly dealing with that mess of a daughter-in-law of yours! Well done, my good and faithful servant…well done!” (Matthew 25:23)

The greatest of these is love.

Scripture tells us the value that God places on love: “And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13). love is a verb. It’s an action word. We can’t just give lip service to God’s commandment to love one another. If the action doesn’t match the words, it’s a lie. Jesus went beyond telling us that he loved us; he showed us and expects us to do the same.

How about 1 John 4:20 for a wake-up call? “If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?” Of course, we all know someone like that, but could we be accused of the same shortcoming?

God never promised us that His way would be easy. The Bible depicts a love unlike the worldly version: “Greater love has no one than this than to lay down one’s life for his friend” (John 15:13). How many people would you consider dying for? Hopefully, your children, your spouse, possibly other relatives (except crazy Uncle Bill), and most likely your dearest friends. Those friends would have to be your dearest ones, though! Fair-weather friends wouldn’t make the cut. How about an enemy? How about that crotchety neighbor you’ve had to contend with for years? How about that lying sneak of a co-worker who managed to get himself promoted to a job that was rightfully yours?

Although God’s love is freely given, it longs for a response. If fear holds us back, it masks who we really are. Fear clings to the old self, refuses to relinquish control, and attempts to tie the hands of the Holy Spirit.

And lest we forget, God’s sacrificial love infuses an inherent dignity in everyone! We, as Christians, have no monopoly on God. We don’t own Him, and we don’t have exclusive rights to him. This isn’t a private club. We are to be instruments of His love or our response, and our faith is inadequate at best and sinful at worst.

I would like to end with a quote from a sermon on Job once given by Archibald MacLeish. He said, “Man depends on God for all things; God depends on man for one. Only man can prove that man loves God.”

So…what are you waiting for?

PROVE IT!

Jerks Who Steal Your Christmas Cheer

by Linda Russell, posted in forgiveness, Lukewarm Christian, relationships are hard
(Tenor GIF)

Oh joy! The Christmas season is upon us!

Gleefully we buy and wrap presents for everyone on our shortlist and ignore those on, you know, that other list! No sugar plums dancing in our heads because they are too filled with anger and resentments we revisit every year.

Instead of living in hopeful expectation of the coming of a Savior, we hope against hope that the one we hate so deeply will not be coming to Christmas dinner. We pretend to thank God for sending His beloved Son to reveal His deep and abiding love for us while we begrudge His creation of that so-and-so who makes our life a living hell.  

Attempts to sing any Christmas song other than “Grandma (or the person I hate the most) Got Run Over by a Reindeer” is just not going to happen. And you swear that if you hear “Fa La La” one more time, you’re going to punch someone!

Christmas dredges up “stuff” that we try all year long to ignore. What is it about this season that should bring out the best instead of the worst in us? I don’t know for sure, but I believe it was intentional on God’s part. (He’s pretty clever that way.) Think about it. Other times of the year can trigger bad feelings in so many of our relationships. But Christmas just seems to profoundly manifest feelings that He wants us to overcome and heal from. Why?

What do you think is most important to God? Relationships, right? He is always about the business of teaching us how important they are: His relationship with us and ours with Him and with each other.

Every Christmas is supposed to remind us of a Divine Love that had to come to earth incarnated as the child Jesus so we could touch and feel it for ourselves. Whoa, that’s way too scary, so we just go to church instead. That’s easier and less demanding. Then we can hang onto our perceived righteous anger because we don’t want to let them off the hook, “I hope your Christmas sucks!”

And so, again, the need for forgiveness is upon us. Like that stupid elf on the shelf! Every morning, you get up knowing it’s there somewhere, watching your every move and hoping, maybe this time, you’ll manifest your best self.

Everyone screws up. Everyone! Yes, even you! All of us, at some time in our lives, will be called upon to forgive or to ask for forgiveness – usually both and usually often.

Of course, we can deceive ourselves into believing that we did that already. So, how will you know if you have? If the result of your forgiving or being forgiven has mended and restored that relationship you struggled in, then let me throw out an AMEN AND ALLALUAHA!!! However, you will be tested again and again if it has not been, especially if that person slips again.

Forgiveness will not change the past. Period. It may not make the present more bearable or the future more hopeful if the other person refuses to accept or offer forgiveness. That’s when we can so easily revert to our stance of hating them all over again.

Come on, we’re just as guilty as anyone else of doing something stupid and unforgivable. It’s human nature. That’s why God has to forgive us over and over again, though I have no doubt He does roll His eyes and smack His forehead while asking the proverbial question, “What were you thinking?!”

Nonetheless, He still forgives because He’s well aware of our incessant and unremitting screw-ups. He accepts all our foils if He knows we are doing our best. He loves us despite ourselves. I’m not sure how we can think for one moment that we can get away with giving anyone else grief for their sinfulness. Perhaps we all need to be reminded of the following scripture – A LOT!

Matthew 18:21-19:1 (loose translation), “Peter, all smug and sure of himself, asked the Lord how many times he is expected to forgive the dimwits in his life. He picked a number out of the air that he thought Jesus would agree to. How about seven? But Jesus rebuked him, ‘NOPE, wanna try again?’”

Oh boy, I feel a parable coming on. Jesus told Peter about the king who lined his servants up and demanded they settle their debts with him. All but one holdout did. He thought he could hedge his bets that the king would forgive him if he groveled enough, and amazingly he did.

In a sudden lapse of memory, the servant ran into a guy who owed him money and demanded it back, just like the king. The other guy begged him to give him more time. But, unlike the king, he refused and threw him in jail. The king got wind of it – oops, busted. He rescinded the jerk’s forgiven debt and threw him in jail too. There, take that, moron!

So, what about you? Is there a relationship you need to mend this Christmas? I believe the most challenging struggle we have is when we are in a close relationship with someone, and we can’t avoid them. The anger or hurt is always before us; if their attitude is indifference, we struggle even more. Our hurts are like open sores that never heal. So, instead of seeing the good that person may do, we forever carry around our “Jerk Meter”. AHA! There she goes again! Great! –now I’ll be up all night again. Just me at my pity party with my “Jerk Meter.”

Perhaps a quote I am constantly reminded of may help you move toward forgiveness: “Forgiveness is giving up my right to hurt you the way you have hurt me.” (Author unknown). And here is an excellent blog about forgiveness: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-maintain-a-relationship-with-a-loved-one-who-has-hurt-you/

Finally, my prayer for everyone, especially those who harbor past hurts and pain, is that you will see the Love of God anew. A Love meant to be carried into a hurting and broken world by us. So, instead of just stepping in the church’s doors this Christmas, step into the heart of someone who’s broken and in need of love – your love. You’ll probably find them sitting across from you at the dinner table.

Have a VERY BLESSED CHRISTMAS!

Acting ‘As If’: A Path to Healing and Growth

by Linda Russell, posted in AHA moments, Boldness in adversity, Consider trials pure joy!, embrace change, God's plan

(Original post-2021)

Well, I’m still here in case you were wondering – or even if you couldn’t care less (in which case, I don’t suppose you’d be reading this). Regardless, here we go…

For over a year, I went kicking and screaming into a sudden and uncertain reality. In the process, I have slowly, often unwillingly, been discovering who I am in the midst of loss, pain, and sorrow. The world I thought would never change – changed – without any warning. NOT FAIR!

I reasoned (something my A.D.D. brain should know by now to question) that it was time for a change. So, I packed up my former self, one box, one picture, one memory at a time. I suddenly realized I had been trying to suppress the uncertainty of my future with superficial words and inadequate certitudes, “I’m fine. Really!” – even though it may appear that I’m losing my shit!

Some “experts” encourage us to act “as if” _________(fill in the blank) until it becomes our truth. So, I did – or at least I tried. But, in pretending I was already there, I believe I also denied the necessary process of change. So, does acting “as if” my life is often a total shitstorm count? Because right now it is – no acting required.

Jen Hatmaker beautifully describes the inevitable change of seasons in life, “It can be difficult to envision a new start but impossible to deny one. This is your work. No one can do it for you. Something doesn’t have to be bad to be over. That season has possibly given you everything it had to offer; it shaped and developed you, and it stretched and inspired you. We are not entirely rebranded with each new season; we simply build the next layer. As a testament to our design, we are capable of preserving the best of each season while rejecting the worst. The human heart is shockingly resilient. We need to get better at permission and grace.”

The pictures are packed up now, leaving bare walls and lots of nail holes my husband never knew about because, well, why measure when you can just eyeball distance, even if you suck at it! I didn’t take the time to count, but I’m pretty sure there were at least five or six holes behind each picture!

But I digress…

It has become clear to me that I have been stuck in the past. God tells us to stay out of there and move on, trusting Him every step of the way. The past certainly formed my identity to this point, and I am grateful for all of its lessons. But that’s not the end of my story or my journey. Hatmaker says, “You can care about new things and new beginnings and new people. Carry on, sister!” Carry on, indeed!

(Tenor GIF)

God wants me, wants all of us, to boldly step into each new day, believing every life experience, good or bad, will influence how we impact our world. Our loving God has created our most outlandishly gifted, magnificently designed selves for that very purpose.

It’s time to grab onto the desire of my heart that has been sitting too long and aching to be acknowledged, that one passion refusing to fade away no matter how much I have tried to ignore it.

CDC Concedes: No Known Cure for #1 Cause of Death

by Linda Russell, posted in Oh, death where is your sting?, Well, done good and faithful servant

(Originally posted 10/17/13)

After extensive research by the Centers for Disease Control, it is confirmed that everyone who starts breathing will eventually stop. But if you’re holding out for a miracle, I have some bad news for you. Are you sitting down? Stop breathing, and you’re gonna die. So, stop breathing at your own peril…

DUH!

Do we really need the Centers for Disease Control to tell us that we will all die? Perhaps. Apparently, in our western culture anyway, many of us believe that if we ignore that 900-pound gorilla in the room, death will never darken our door.

Not so, folks. Sorry to be the one to dampen your dreams of living forever, at least here on this earth, in this body. It just ain’t gonna happen. Why does it matter? Because there’s a reason we refuse to accept that death is another part of our journey. But, if we can’t bring ourselves to face our own mortality, then those following us may be doomed to that same fear and uncertainty.

There could be any number of reasons we avoid the inevitable. Pick one or choose your own:

  • I am afraid of the unknown, and death is the ultimate unknown. If someone would just come back and tell me what it’s like…sigh…

Remember the rich man begging from hell that his five brothers be told of his torment so they wouldn’t end up there. Luke 16:27-31: The rich man said, “Then let me ask you, Father: Send him to the house of my father where I have five brothers, so he can tell them the score and warn them so they won’t end up here in this place of torment.” Abraham answered, “They have Moses and the Prophets to tell them the score. Let them listen to them.” “I know, Father Abraham,” he said, “but they’re not listening (my emphasis).“

  • I kinda like it here with all my stuff.
  • I don’t want my husband to remarry some snarky woman who will raise my children. (That used to be my favorite. Never mind that I was that snarky woman!)
  • I wanna be here for: graduations, weddings, and grandkids. Oh yeah, and the anniversary when you get all those cool red vases and candy dishes you never use.
  • I have lots of plans: I have to finish school, finish a marathon, finish the dishes.
  • And, what is probably the biggest reason: fear that my sins will come back to haunt me on that great judgment day. They are surely logged somewhere: I never forgave _________, I never asked forgiveness from ________, I never admitted to stealing ________, or lying about _________, or coveting ___________. And – sin of sins – I missed Mass on October 23rd, 1974.

It’s all there. All my ugliness. I really intended to clean that up “one of these days”. I just never got around to it because there was lots of time. I never considered that I would die at an inopportune time.

  • All of the above.
  • None of the above.

Death is Cousin Eddie: obnoxious, showing up unannounced, making impossible demands, and flushing your sewage in the middle of the street for everyone’s viewing pleasure.

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Beauty, for sure, but ugliness also manifests itself during the dying process: Ours, that of the person dying, or both, as the world watches in horror and disbelief. “Whoa, didn’t see that coming!” A good example was the funeral of my grandmother. With a room full of friends and relatives, my mother and aunt began to fight over who would get my grandmother’s…ready?…wheelchair. Not millions of dollars or prized possessions, but her wheelchair. There you go. What’s your worst memory? I’m sure you have one. We all have at least one.

As I sit here and write today, tears well up in my eyes from an experience I had just last night. When called by my supervisor, I will sit vigil with dying patients. I consider it a blessing and a privilege to be in such a holy place at such a time in the dying person’s life and to be with loved ones if they’re there.

Some are not there by choice, as was the case last night. For obvious reasons, I cannot share details of the person I visited. But I can tell you this, she was a believer, but her husband was not. They had no children and no other family. When her husband was told she would likely not make it through the night, he refused to go see her. Now, I am only speculating here because I have no way of knowing. She had dementia and was not coherent enough for me to understand her needs or the source of her torment. I can only speculate after reading volumes of examples from the experiences of hospice RNs.

Trying to fully understand what is happening during the dying process is impossible because it is one of God’s great mysteries. However, we do have hints of what may be taking place. For example, some people will not die until a son from out-of-town arrives or until a beloved spouse says they will be okay and gives them “permission” to pass.

I am slowly witnessing glimpses of the mystery and beauty of our creation by a mighty and loving God. We just welcomed our thirteenth grandbaby two days ago. YEA! What a blessed event!!! Even at number thirteen, I am still awestruck by the magnificence of the beginning of life. Aren’t we all? Isn’t it just breathtaking? But the end of life? Not so much.

I will try my best, as inadequate as this may be, to summarize what I have grown to understand about death and dying. Bear with me.

At that moment of birth, we are most connected to the very core of our Being – God. Remember, God “knew” us before we were born: Jeremiah 1:5, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born, I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.” But, then, so many things go awry, don’t they? We lose our way, push away, “cut the cord” I suppose you could say, and go our own way.

Then the end comes. (I told you that was going to happen, right? Okay, just wanted to be sure I didn’t leave that little detail out.) So, guess what happens then? God shows up, if you will, to bring us back to our core, back to him, back home. It’s mysterious and glorious. But, if we’re not ready, we will fight it with all we have left.

We often struggle to get to that place of peace and trust in the process because of all of our “stuff”. And that’s what I believe was happening to the woman I sat with last night. I do know this: she’s a believer, but her husband is not (a huge problem for her). They both were very ill and, at some point, promised not to put the other in a nursing home. That’s all I know for sure. The rest is speculation.

Her breathing would slow, then race, then stop – over and over again. She would seem to be peaceful one moment and then cry out inaudibly the next. What was she trying so desperately to say? Was it physical pain or emotional torment she was expressing? I don’t know. I prayed with her and for her and her husband, and at times that would make her cry out. At one point, she said clearly, “pray”. So I did. Is she still with us today? I don’t know as yet. But here’s what is so important about what I have shared with you:

Life should be lived each day as if it’s the last because it may very well be. Suppose you and I would just accept that fact and live accordingly. Wouldn’t we make our little world a better place while we’re here, and wouldn’t we make our own dying something beautiful and memorable for our loved ones? When it’s my turn to take that final journey, I want my kids, my thirteen grandkids, and seven great-grandkids to witness the glory of God at his best and not fear their own journey. I want to die with grace. The End.