Category: Uncategorized

If Not Us…Then Who?

by Linda Russell, posted in Uncategorized

O Jesus…

We seek you in places you have already left and fail to see you when you stand before us.

You interrupt our comfort with your nakedness,

touch our possessiveness with your poverty. 

You challenge our smugness. 

You come so we can touch you with our hands,

yet we refuse to touch the hands of those you love most deeply. 

You are at once, sign and hope and stumbling block.

Your persistent call disturbs our settled lives.

May we neither cling to the fear that holds us back,

nor refuse to embrace the cost of serving when it is required of us.

O God… 

You drive us into the desert to search out your truth.

You are outrageous hope. 

Help us to abandon our worldly penchant of failing to choose to follow you.

You urge us beyond all reason to love our enemies. 

You disarm our judgment with your radical mercy. 

Stir us to a new vision and uncover our injustice and arrogance.

You are gift, you are hope, you are joy meant to be taken to those who sit in darkness. 

If not us…then who will go?

Rekindling Faith: A Reflection on Mentoring and Forgiveness

by Linda Russell, posted in Uncategorized

After I finished graduate school, I was working with a young man in my parish, whom I’ll name Jason. He was fifteen and wanted to be baptized and confirmed. But because he had consistently missed meetings or failed to do his assignments, I finally told him I could no longer work with him. I felt he was not serious about it and was too far behind to catch up by Easter.

Shortly afterwards, I went to a funeral of a friend, which would seem to be totally unrelated to my experience with Jason, until God stepped in (he’s sneaky like that). After the funeral, God let me know he did not like my decision to dismiss Jason because he didn’t seem to care. 

How could I expect a teenager to grasp what I barely understand about heaven, hell, judgment, salvation, forgiveness, grace, hope, penance, and Eucharist? If that’s not enough, how do I explain that we don’t wait until the end of our lives to catch the elevator that goes “up” to heaven or “down” to hell, but that the kingdom of heaven is here now in Christ?

How could I expect him to realize that our every action affects the lives of all those we are in relationship with and those who are just casual acquaintances when I was the worst example? I surely had to begin by seeking forgiveness from him for nearly letting him go. It made me recall the words of Catherine of Siena, “How could I reconcile myself. Lord, to the prospect that a single one of those whom, like me, you have created in your image and likeness should become lost and slip from your hands?”

Then, throw in the reality of Jesus as the embodiment of all those elements of our faith, and the sign of God’s love, which is all sheer mystery, not logical deduction. Saint Origen said, “Jesus is the kingdom in person.” He bridges the gap between already and not yet. I can’t get my own head around that!

Father Edward Farrell posits the question of why Jesus offered forgiveness on the cross and commanded the same from us. Could it be because Christ wants us to bring others to the table with us, especially those we have climbed over on our way there?

In the Penitential Rite of the Catholic Church, we confess our sins against God and our brothers and sisters. Then we invoke the prayers of the entire community that we may be forgiven by God. We do this from a longing to share in the love that gives our lives meaning, grounds our hope, and directs us toward our final end.

Hope must begin at the foot of the cross. The answer to the question, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” also begins there. Admitting and being sorrowful for our sins is the work of God within the heart of those with the courage to seek forgiveness in humility.

God does not want us to contemplate the “end times” for the sake of basking in thoughts of hell for those we hate. We cannot shout “Amen” to God’s commandment to love and deny that in so many ways we refuse to accept that Matthew 25 is speaking to us.

If we understood Jesus to be the essence of the promise of God, here and now, wouldn’t we seek to live that promise in love and charity for all? Yes! And that is what “compelled” me to call Jason to apologize, “I changed my mind, I don’t want to die and have you picket my funeral telling people what a jerk I was! Can we start over?” Which he graciously agreed to! I don’t have to have all the answers for Jason or myself. I simply pray that loving him where he is will result in him wanting to come to my funeral – without a picket sign! I hope I get this right

Living in Scary and Uncertain Times: Finding Solace in Galatians 5:22-23

by Linda Russell, posted in Uncategorized

This post started out differently than what you’re seeing here. I intended to simply write about the Fruits of the Spirit and most of the content came directly from my book. Then, I received a “holy prompting” to focus it on the present reality of the violence, hatred, and fear we are daily inundated with.

 Yes, we are living in scary and uncertain times, which is likely causing so many to hide behind locked doors, have the groceries delivered, skip church or any crowds, and throw up frantic prayers to God.

Which makes this a perfect opportunity to delve into Galatians 5:22-23. I have long felt it was the most poignant of all of Scripture and has so much to tell us today.

Imagine God inspiring the writer(s) of these verses and being pleased with their work. Then, sitting back crosses his fingers and hoping we choose wisely because he has no control over our decisions.

We are daily challenged to decide between:

Love or hate

Joy or misery

Peace or worry

Patience or agitation

Kindness and gentleness or malice

Self-Control or instability

So, let’s go…

LOVE

Does love have limits? Many of us carry scars of past pain and hurt that play out in our lives daily and affect how we treat others. I swore I would never be like my mother – does that sound familiar?

When love is conditional, it is worldly, shallow, and indifferent. It can easily transform into hatred. From that perspective, we watch closely for others to screw up just once, and we’re done with them.

We seem to forget that God’s immense love and grace have no expiration date. “Oops, your get-out-of-jail-free card has expired. Sorry.”

He longs to help us love those that we find humanly impossible to like—even ourselves at times. But here’s the key: I can learn to love only when I have accepted God’s love myself.

Know the Difference: worldly love wears the sheepskin of an “if it feels good” mentality over the wolf that devours childhood innocence, destroys relationships, makes compassion a burden, and muddies the pure waters of selfless love created by God (1 Cor. 13:4-8).

JOY

“Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth; break forth in song, rejoice, and sing praises.” (Psalm 98:4)

A common response to the idea of joy might be something like this: “News flash, dufus, joy is the noise made by fools who don’t have a clue what is going on in the world.”

All right, fair enough (no need to call me names). I actually do know about the terrible things happening in the world today: anger, violence, and hatred. I also know about a man who suffered an indescribable death at the hands of those who wrongly accused him of a crime. He was beaten, spit on, and mocked. Then, he was nailed to a cross as many watched him slowly suffocate and die.

We know the life stories of those who have and continue to follow Jesus’ example. Do you think for one moment they would sign up for that if they were following a fool? They knew that the only way to bring nonbelievers to Christ was to live joyfully because no idiot would follow someone who spewed bad news on a regular basis.

So, what about us? Suffering has a purpose, and when you discover that truth for yourself, as I finally did after many years, hopefully, you will have arrived at a place where you, too, can shout for joy and share the Good News with others.

Joy is the oasis of laughter in the desert of loneliness. It is a caring touch coming through the locked door of a broken heart. It is peering through tear-stained eyes into an empty tomb. Pain and suffering are temporary. Joy is eternal.

PEACE

If I wanted true peace in my life, I would have to let go of the anger and lashing out. I would have to recognize the part I played in my own misery, and I would have to release the people who were on the receiving end of all the pain and hurt that was bottled up inside of me. Did I turn some people away from God because there was no peace in my life? 

One of Jesus’ final acts was to offer his disciples peace, and they were going to need it! “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.” 

Have you known someone in your life who radiates peace? If you are wise, you will do everything, short of stalking them, to be in their company, to glimpse through them the very nature and essence of God, which is peace, and then claim it for yourself.

PATIENCE

Today, patience is a dinosaur, and if it doesn’t come in a pill form, we aren’t interested. I want it now! I don’t want to feel it. I don’t want to deal with it. Give me a pill, a distraction, or a bus ticket out of here.

A display of patience we might tolerate would be something like a gentle nudging to wait your turn, wait for your elderly grandmother to catch up, wait for a phone call. Just a small interruption in our daily routine may be okay.

The word patience literally means to suffer and endure. If that’s true, then how much would be required of us to be in a relationship with someone who is unbearable or endure intolerable circumstances? Yet that is exactly what God is asking of us when he calls us to patience, to suffer, and bear the burdens of life.

We excuse ourselves when we fail to be Christ-like to others, yet we expect God to be all-loving, all-forgiving, and all-patient with us. “Well, God’s a bigger man than I am.”  So, you’re comfortable with that excuse, are you?

But hold on. I have some good news for you. God doesn’t demand anything from us that he will not give us the power—his power—to achieve. So why is God so patient with us? He knows our human frailties and longs for us to trust him. He longs to shower us with blessings and guide us through all the obstacles this world presents to us.

A question we are called to ask ourselves: is my impatience a stumbling block to others?

KINDNESS & GENTLENESS

What are the prejudices and injustices we perpetrate on others because of our pride, pious attitudes, and forgetfulness of just how imperfect we are?

If we thought about it, we could all probably recall at least one person in our lives whom we have distanced ourselves from because of struggles in our relationship. That person may be as close as our living room couch.

We are often so determined to stay focused on the hurt we endure from others that we’ll stay there as long as it takes to make that person suffer. But, you know what? That person is a child of God, just like we are. That person is likely broken, just like we are. It’s time to let them off the hook.

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind.” Brad Meltzer

GOODNESS

“Everyone feels benevolent if nothing happens to be annoying him at the moment.” C. S. Lewis

I learned a few tricks from my mother, who was the master of masking. She was from the old school of “What would the neighbors think?” When you walked out the door, you left the dark family secrets behind and played the game in public.

And, oh, the games we play, the lies we tell. But the real tragedy, I believe, is that we think we’re faultless, even though our sins tell a different story. Goodness doesn’t seem to be on the same scale as holiness, does it? I think I could rationalize myself into the category of good, but I would have a tough time comparing myself to Mother Theresa (don’t think I haven’t tried!).

I believe most people really want to do good, but we are constantly in a battle. That’s why Galatians 6:9 says, “Don’t grow weary doing good.”

Our true character is who we are when no one is looking.

Now comes the proverbial question, “Why should I?”  The answer is that being good, especially to our enemies, can bring far greater rewards than treating them the way we think they deserve to be treated. And if you still need convincing, go back to the cross for a reminder of what loving your enemy looks like.

Now, go love that jerk …oops…child of God.

FAITHFULNESS

God’s faithfulness is steadfast, but what about ours? I can only relate to you what has brought me to a place where I know faithfulness means far more than I was ever willing to admit. That didn’t happen as a result of one miraculous event: No burning bush, no parting of the sea, no Lazarus-like miracle, just a journey, a very long journey, to a patient and loving God.

How do we rationalize our indifference to the horror of what took place at Calvary? Could it be that we trivialize Jesus’ suffering to make our meager sacrifices appear to be significant and our sins acceptable? Thus, Jesus becomes a warm fuzzy, and we’re off the hook.

Trivialize this…“Take up your cross and follow Me.” (Mark 8:34) Oh boy, here we go. This is where we disconnect.

We know the kind of men the apostles were before Jesus died. They were a bunch of misfits. They doubted, they questioned, and they fell asleep when he asked them to stay awake and pray with him. Then, they ran away when he was taken to be hanged. But they knew they screwed up big time!

Now, here they are in the Upper Room after Jesus is buried, eleven men lost in confusion and grappling with their weakness; their denial. Then Jesus shows up. And what are his first words? “Peace to you.” (Luke 24:36) 

When Jesus said, “Anyone who wants to take up his cross and follow Me, anyone who wants to suffer the same fate as Me, step forward.”  They did. All of them. There would be no turning back now. No running, no denying. The cock could crow till the cows came home, and not one would falter. Not this time.

Now it’s our turn. Certainly, most of us will not be called to martyrdom. But, we are called, though, to die in our own selfish, self-centered ways. We are called to be different, to suffer if need be. We must stop asking, “Why me, Lord?” and accept our trials with faith and trust that God is right there with us to turn our sorrows into joy.

SELF-CONTROL

Everything that Satan is behind—those worldly things that we call pleasure are really his skillfully disguised handiwork. Each time we justify the smallest sin, we become insensitive to the fact that it actually is sin.

For all those who have been deceived into believing that there is such an excusable thing as a “tiny indiscretion,” those are the lies of Satan that keep us out of a relationship with God.

While we’re on the subject, we would do well to look at all areas that we excuse but God does not. Have we been lulled into a belief that there is nothing wrong with what we are doing? What has happened to our consciences?

Leo Tolstoy, in his essay, The Lion and the Honeycomb, Why Do Men Stupefy Themselves? explains: “What people most want is not that their consciousness should work correctly; it is that their actions should appear to them to be just.”

God says in 1 John 5:3, “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.” Seriously? They seem awfully burdensome to us, don’t they? But as Christians, we are called to be disciplined in our lives. Until we can give everything to God; until we can come to a place where we are “seeking the Kingdom of God first” (Matthew 6:33), we will repeatedly fail. That’s why self-control is not self-alone.

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER

Following Christ does take a great amount of discipline, and it is only possible through him. To everyone who feels battle-scarred right now, whether those battles of life have only been skirmishes or they have been “all-out, fight-to-the-death, take-no-prisoners” wars, take heed.

We don’t make a one-time – this is it – I surrender – commitment to Christ and then throw ourselves a party. If you think all your sinfulness will instantly be eradicated when you do that, you’re gonna fall hard, smack your loser head, and go join the circus.

Come back here. Don’t do that. Just fall on your bruised knees, seek forgiveness from a merciful and loving God, and start over. You can do this! God created you and equipped you to do this.

The Journey to Realness: Transforming Pain into Beauty

by Linda Russell, posted in AHA moments, Boldness in adversity, Consider trials pure joy!, embrace change, forgiveness, grace, Healing, Humility, life's trials, occasions of grace, Our Imperfection, Uncategorized

I have wasted a great deal of time lamenting my aging body. If I ever had ambitions of being a swimsuit model, that’s off the table. You’re welcome!

The wrinkles and bags seem to multiply by the day. It’s why I never want my picture taken. I figured that when I die, and my kids put together that poster board of memories, the “latest” photo of me will be a Glamour Shot from thirty years ago!

Every seasonal change prompts me to donate clothes I don’t wear, haven’t worn for the past ten years, and will likely never fit into again. When I’m finished, the “pile” of items usually consists of a pair of socks someone gave me for Christmas. That’s it. Because – well – maybe I’ll lose weight next year. Hope springs eternal!

My frequent adventures into reality never end well, as they usually prompt me to eat copious amounts of chocolate! Until yesterday, when I read a meditation by my all-time favorite author and human, Kate Bowler. It was titled “Becoming Real”, in which she shares her creation of the “Gospel of the Velveteen Rabbit.” It brought me to tears – good and bad.

Bowler tells us how sad the rabbit is because he’s so worn from being drug around through life. He’s become tattered and torn and fears he’ll be cast aside. No longer his beautiful, fluffy, shiny self. His buddy, the Skin Horse, who’s been around much longer and is much wiser, tells him, “That’s how you become real.”

Bowler explains, “We become real through our wear and tear. By healing from the cruelty we didn’t deserve. By being loved imperfectly and loving imperfectly. In both, we change and keep changing. As the Skin Horse explains, ‘Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off (check), and your eyes drop out (kinda), and you get loose in the joints and very shabby (check and check). But these things don’t matter because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.’”

As I reflected on this meditation about the beauty of “being Real,” I realized how much I have focused on the wrong things. I spent so much time lamenting my childhood, the abuse of my mother, the sexual abuse, feelings of being invisible because none of my teachers ever questioned my acting out in school, and an attempted suicide in my twenties. I never allowed myself to see the inner beauty that has made me “Real.”

The transformation of a self-centered, angry, lost little girl to the person God created me to be from the beginning should be a cause for celebration! Has that erased all the bad memories? No. But it has helped relegate them to the past, where they no longer affect my sense of who I am, my worth, and my dignity.

I would not be caring or thoughtful of myself or others, drawn towards serving others, or know how much I have to be grateful for had I not accepted this journey. Even with all its rough patches and dark places, it has made me more joyful and fulfilled than I ever could have imagined.

Oh, believe me, I have many moments of admonition from God when I screw up. More than I care to admit. But my heart is open to seeing my faults and correcting them quickly. I can only do that through a newfound humility and the grace of God.

Finding Hope in Crisis: Lessons from History

by Linda Russell, posted in Boldness in adversity, Do Something, Energized by hope, fear, God's plan, hope after the 2024 election, loving others, Uncategorized

The disciples constantly nagged Jesus to tell them what was coming and what to expect, like the proverbial question from our kids: “Are we there yet?!”

Jesus’s speaking to them in parables probably frustrated them even more. Those parables spoke to their unrelenting insistence on knowing what was coming and how to prepare. In Luke 21, Jesus simply tells them to be alert and wait for God to reveal his plan and purpose to them—all in due time. He tries to assure them that God is still in control, no matter how it seems.

Now, here we are, clutching our pearls since the election, certain the apocalypse is near! And just like the disciples, God calls us to the only assurance we need: He is still in control.

(Tenor GIF)

So, we all need to take a collective deep breath, exhale, and consider our reality in light of the work of those who are already moving to shore up our democracy and the words of those who have gone before us who fought the powers of evil in their own time. (I share an excellent resource at the end of this post)

Dr. Barbara Holmes offered her thoughts on the necessity of contemplation when a crisis arises: 

“The crisis begins without warning, shatters our assumptions about the way the world works, and changes our story and the stories of our neighbors. The reality that was so familiar to us is gone suddenly, and we don’t know what is happening….  

If life, as we experience it, is a fragile crystal orb that holds our daily routines and dreams of order and stability, then sudden and catastrophic crises shatter this illusion of normalcy. The crises … are usually precipitated by circumstances beyond the ordinary. I am referring to oppression, violence, pandemics, abuses of power, natural disasters, and planetary disturbances. 

Contemplation after or during crisis is a stillness in the aftermath of a primal scream, the abyss of unknowing, and the necessity of surviving the trauma together.”

So many of us are now in full crisis mode, and there is no telling how much worse it’s going to get over the coming years.

I believe people on both sides are dealing with their own life struggles. Fear and uncertainty are at the forefront of those concerns, and we can react differently to them. I get that.

The bottom line for me is that I am still called to love and care for others and to be an example of Christ in the world. How did I get here – from running around with my hair on fire to settling into acceptance of the reality we now face? How have I found hope and trust that we can overcome and end up stronger from the experience, even when we have no idea what will happen? I look to those heroes of faith who have gone before us.

There have been so many examples of those who faced seemingly impossible circumstances to make a difference in the world. I don’t pretend to be anywhere near their stature, but I hope to do what I’m called to do within my own capacity – to shine a light, even if it’s just a small candlelight, in the darkness.

As long as humans have been in existence, there has been violence and war somewhere in the world. Though we don’t know what to expect in the coming years in America, we see the innocent in Ukraine and the Middle East suffer untold horrors that we watch on our daily news feeds, and that’s frightening.

But, what we don’t see on the news is the stories of Ukrainians who courageously go about their lives in the midst of it. This is from an article by HOPE International, “Ukrainian believers continue to walk in God’s leading in times of war, just as they had done in times of peace. Despite the devastation Russia inflicts on their country, the Ukrainian spirit will not be broken. We will continue to see Ukrainian believers serving on the front lines of a courageous response, daily finding ways to love God and love their neighbors.” https://blog.hopeinternational.org/2023/06/28/the-heartbeat-of-hope-in-ukraine/

We, too, must trust in God each day to give us all we need, not to simply survive but to thrive and bring hope and care to those who suffer at the hands of evil. If not us, then who?

The following are amazing examples of that light in the darkness: Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Nelson Mandela, Anne Frank, Oscar Romero, and Jesus. Let’s not forget Jesus.

During the Vietnam War, Thomas Merton said, “We are living through the greatest crisis in the history of man….far from being irrelevant, prayer, meditation, and contemplation are of the utmost importance in America today.”

Maximilian Maria Kolbe volunteered to die in place of another man at Auschwitz during World War II. “The most deadly poison of our times is indifference.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer was hanged for his resistance to Hitler. “Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.”

Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated during the civil rights movement “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was assassinated as he led the nonviolent resistance against British rule in India. “The day the power of love overrules the love of power, the world will know peace.”

Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela spent twenty-seven years in prison because of his anti-apartheid activism. “To deny people their human rights is to challenge their very humanity.”

And let’s not forget these powerful words of Genesis 50:20, “God uses the evil perpetrated against us for His good and makes all things new”.

Lastly, I have been following Andrea Chalupa. She is an amazing Ukrainian-American Journalist and Filmmaker. Here is a link to her podcast with lots of action guides: https://www.gaslitnationpod.com/action-guide

Santa, Won’t You Bring me a Mercedes Benz

by Linda Russell, posted in "Experiencing" God, Christmas shopping, Do Something, If not us, then who?, serving others, Uncategorized

I offer this post right before what may be the most popular day of the year – Black Friday. It is my lame effort to curtail the insanity. You’re welcome!

dear santa

Have you ever read about Janis Joplin’s life? I watched a documentary about her called Janis: Little Girl Blue. I found it to be such a sad account of a desperate and broken life. Her song Mercedes Benz was recorded on October 1, 1970, three days before she died, alone in her motel room, of a heroin overdose. The song was actually a slam against consumerism.

As Performing Songwriter Magazine stated, “She was outspoken about the illusory happiness promised (but rarely delivered) by the pursuit of worldly goods, a hippie-era rejection of the consumerist ideals.”  But then, in contrast, she was often seen wearing a mink coat given to her by Southern Comfort because she offered free advertising for them. It seems to have been her drink of choice. Needless to say, she was complicated.

Joplin grew up in a town in the heart of what her sister called redneck country. It had an active chapter of the Ku Klux Klan. And weren’t they thrilled when she spoke out against racial segregation, which also made her a target for ridicule by the other kids in her school. According to her sister, they were relentless in their attacks on her.

Her fragile ego wasn’t spared when she went away to college, either. In 1963, Joplin was cruelly voted “The Ugliest Man on Campus” at the University of Texas. “She was left with little more than the yawning chasm of a tortured loneliness,” her publicist and biographer, Myra Friedman, wrote after Joplin’s death.  Her book was titled, “Buried Alive”. On the Dick Cavett Show, she once said, “They laughed me out of class, out of town, out of the state.”

Even after she managed to get away from Texas, she could never seem to escape the loneliness and rejection she experienced there.  She just wanted to be happy, to be loved, but those longings always eluded her. The sex, the drugs, and the fatalistic sense of being lost and alone tormented her to her death.

In 1968 she wrote to her family, “From all indications I’m going to become rich & famous. Incredible! All sorts of magazines are asking to do articles & pictures featuring me. I’m going to do every one. Wow, I’m so lucky – I just fumbled around being a mixed-up kid (& young adult) & then I fell into this. And finally, it looks like something is going to work for me. Incredible. We’ll pin the review up so everyone can see – I’m so proud.”

On September 18, 1970, Jimi Hendrix died of a heroin overdose. When she heard of his death, she told friends, “he beat me to it.” Two weeks later, on October 4th, she was found dead. In her will, she left her friends and family $2,500 to throw a wake party which was held on Oct. 26. One partier remembered, “Everyone got drunk and messed around, and nobody mentioned Janis at all.”

Ronald Rolheiser summed up her struggles this way, “She simply lost the things that glue a person together and broke apart under too much pressure. Janis Joplin could not will the one thing.” That “one thing” of course, is our innate connection to God, not things of this world we aimlessly strive for to take his place.

If the current rates of depression and suicide are any indication, people of all ages continue to struggle to fill a void left by our rejection of God and the great American obsession with self.

According to the CDC, in 2017, suicide was a Leading Cause of Death in the United States:

  • Suicide was the tenth leading cause of death overall in the United States, claiming the lives of over 47,000 people.
  • Suicide was the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10 and 34, and the fourth leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 35 and 54.

And what about those who have not become a suicide statistic? According to the American Psychological Association:

  • 7% of the U.S. population over age 12 took antidepressant medication in the past month.
  • There has been a 64% increase in the percentage of people using antidepressants between 1999 and 2014. In 1999, 7.7 percent of the population took the medication.

Tim Kasser, Professor and Chair of Psychology at Knox College, has studied people’s values and goals for over twenty years. He says, “The materialistic or “extrinsic” goals are the goals for money, image and status that are so encouraged by consumer capitalism. We contrast these with the “intrinsic” goals for…affiliation (e.g., having close relationships with family and friends” and community feeling (e.g., helping the broader world be a better place).”

And the bottom line? Our hunger for love is insatiable outside of God. 

How often we pray for God to do something for those who suffer but fail to hear his reply in the depths of our hearts, “I did do something, I created you.” Matthew West expressed this beautifully in his song titled, “Do Something”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_RjndG0IX8

We fail to remember that God sent Jesus here to live among us, to show us what that looks like. And then…ready?…he called us to carry on that embodied love by giving entirely of ourselves. By using the gifts, he has given us for his glory. Just like God counted on Jesus, he now depends on us. Jesus says to each of us who continue to follow him, “Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these”. John 14:12-14

I could give you so many examples of people who live that truth, and many are kids who have a significant impact as they strive to make a difference in their communities.

Look at what Jon Bon Jovi and his wife are doing. This brought me to tears: https://jbjsoulkitchen.org  “The way to feel good is to do good.” Jon Von Jovi. There you go. He just said in one sentence what took me three pages!

I hope this sheds a whole new LIGHT on Black Friday for all of us. Maybe we should call it “ILLUMINATED Friday”. Yeah…I like it!

I pray that we may all stop in the midst of the usual holiday chaos and contemplate the true wonder and magic of Christmas and then share that magic with some part of this broken world.

May God richly bless you and yours this Christmas season, and beyond!

I Can’t Deal With You Today: And tomorrow ain’t  lookin’ too good either

by Linda Russell, posted in Uncategorized
https://gifdb.com/gif/holy-water-please-disappear-vintage-show-h0lybu0zmf1uha86.html

Am I the only one who often wants to go live in a cave with a porta-potty, refrigerator, a mattress, and no human contact – EVER AGAIN?!

Let’s see – I would definitely need to pack bug spray…and snake repellant…and a water filter (gotta have that!). I wonder if Amazon would be able to make deliveries. Oh, never mind.

Those moments are usually fleeting and arise after encountering some dumbass or, worse, watching lots of them huddled together on the news.

The world seems to be growing more and more insane by the day if we only focus on the god-awful people who make the news in the first place. Don’t we have enough to deal with just surviving without being constantly reminded of the ugliness that surrounds us?

Then recently, unexpectedly, my faith and hope were renewed. I attended a prayer service for “National Gun Violence Awareness Day”. I thought it was just a gathering of my church to recognize and pray for an end to gun violence. I had no idea it was a national movement that started in 2015.

On their site, they state, “In 2022, more than 1500 partner organizations, influencers, corporate brands, elected officials, and landmarks joined hundreds of thousands of Americans to unite around a call to end gun violence.” I was blown away. Those, my friends, are God numbers!

Burning bush moments

There are so many examples in Scripture of God confusing people by showing up unannounced in unexpected places trying to find an opening in our hard heads.

My heart suddenly filled with a trust (which I should have always had) that God is working right in our midst, in all the turmoil, insanity, and seeming lostness of humanity – as always. We often aren’t aware of it because we’re not present in our own burning bush moments. And apparently, that’s not newsworthy – God’s not newsworthy. Humph!

Still waiting?

Now, does all this mean that we can just sit back and wait for God to show up and fix every mess we humans have created ourselves? It seems that we continually take our complaints to him, expecting a reset.

ME:  Lord, I’m tired and confused and drained of any desire to come out of my cave and try again. Please don’t give me that stink-eye, or worse, the silent treatment. Can you just fix it?

GOD:  (defeating silence)

Hopefully, in that silence, we realize we have forgotten why we’re here in the first place. God does amazing work in and through us. The mind knows that, but the heart fears it will demand too much from us.

This is not complicated

God sent Jesus as a living, breathing template along with a one-word instruction manual. My A.D.D. brain always bulks at sitting and reading forty-page instruction manuals before starting a project. Then, inevitably, I end up with missing or extra parts and no idea what to do with them. But God’s manual has only one word: LOVE!  

Jesus has always managed to work with the messy humans assigned to him, but he surely rolls his eyes in response to our efforts because we add stipulations to loving others: I will think about loving you if ______________ (fill in the blank).

Jesus mastered his task to love unconditionally all the way to the cross as he handed his disciples, and now us, the baton, “Now, it’s up to you and the Spirit within you, to carry on God’s work in my name. Don’t screw this up. I’m depending on you, Gods depending on you.”

I’ll leave you with two of my favorite quotes:

“Nothing shows the presence of the spirit in human life as well as love does…. When love is expressed as compassion, the spirit enables us to come out of ourselves, put ourselves in the other’s place, and bend over the person who has fallen by the wayside. … By grace, we participate in God’s very being. Here the human spirit is touching the hem of the Holy Spirit’s garment.” Leonardo Boff

“I worship Something Else that says that everyone is a beloved child of the divine, nothing more, nothing less, no matter what. We are not better than.” Tommy Airey  https://radicaldiscipleship.net/2023/06/05/a-god-who-confuses/

From Mountain Top to Dark Box to Intimacy

by Linda Russell, posted in Uncategorized

Poor Moses had a lot to deal with. God sent him to lead the Israelites into the wilderness. When they got hungry, they complained to Moses. When there was no water, they complained to Moses. So, God opened the spigot, and they drank but forgot to thank him. He dropped manna in their laps, but they wanted steak and potatoes cause they weren’t creative enough to make pancakes and douse them with syrup!

Yet still, God loved their sorry selves. He desired a covenant and intimacy with them. It would be extraordinary! But the Israelites were having nothing to do with it. It was way too scary! Intimacy? No way! So they stubbornly settled at the foot of the mountain and were going no further.

Then, the Lord called Moses up the mountain….and….

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UP HE GOES

(19:3) The Lord instructs him, “Tell those guys I’m going to do awesome things for them: Make them all holy and priestly.”

DOWN HE GOES

(19:8) Moses repeats what the Lord told him, and they jump all over it! “We will do everything the Lord has said.” 

UP HE GOES

(19:11-12) Moses told the Lord how excited they were! The Lord told Moses, “I’m going down there in a bunch of clouds to hang with you so they can see how cool I think you are. But if they try to approach me for selfies, I’ll kill the lot of them! Got it?”

DOWN HE GOES

(19:14-19) Moses told them to clean up and not have sex (okay?!). Then everything explodes! Thunder, lightning, thick clouds, and a really loud, ear-drum-bursting trumpet blast for good measure. Even the mountain trembled. People were screaming and crying and scattering all over the place! It probably wasn’t the reaction God anticipated. So, he called Moses back.

UP HE GOES

(19:21-24) Before Moses unpacked his gear, the Lord said to him, “Go back down and keep them in line.”

DOWN HE GOES

 (20:19) So Moses went down to the people and told them the Lord was not happy with them, but they were still trembling with fear and begged him, “You go talk to the Lord. We’ll wait right here!”

UP HE GOES

(20:21) While he was gone, God was furiously chiseling out the Ten Commandments, which he gave Moses along with a long list of additional mandates and decrees.

DOWN HE GOES

(24:1) Then, the Lord summoned Moses and Aaron and some big shots back up for some sort of conference.

UP HE GOES

(24:3) Then they went back down.

DOWN HE GOES

(24:7) Moses showed the Israelites the plans the Lord drew up. Again, in unison, they replied, “Yep, we’ll do all that stuff!” Bright and early the next morning, they got to work.

 UP HE GOES

(24:18 – 31:18) Moses and Joshua climbed back up and hung out there for forty days while the Lord gave them specifics of his required offerings from the Israelites. It was some pretty pricy stuff too. ”Oh yeah, an Arc. I need an Arc. A very BIG Arc –HUGE – and fill it with lots of cool stuff! Here are the specifics, and note the required fancy priestly garments, all the way down to the underwear.”  

It was a LONG forty days!

32:1-6) The Israelites didn’t think he was coming back, and it all went downhill from there (pun intended). They decided they wanted to be their own gods and make their own rules. It was party time!

32:7-14) The Lord saw what those stiff-necked fools were up to and was furious! He planned to destroy the whole lot of them. Moses begged him to recall his promises and relent. When the Lord settled down, Moses left.

DOWN HE GOES:

(32:19-29) His legs ached, and his back hurt from lugging those stone tablets down the mountain! He was exhausted. HE. WAS. LIVID.

They were all running wild – even Aaron. Moses lost it, and ended up doing what he had just begged God not to do! He had the Levites chop up about three-thousand people and then blessed the rest of them. Weird! So, back up he goes to beg God for mercy for the ones who are left. Saying nothing about making mincemeat out of 3,000 of them!

UP HE GOES:

(32:31-35) The Lord makes note of Moses’ request (insert God-sized eye-roll here) while at the same time planning the proper punishment for those who sinned. He sends Moses back down to give them the bad news, followed by a fun little plague, followed by their long walk without the Lord cause he is still fuming and afraid he might let loose and destroy them all, but he’s not sure, “I’ll let you know”.

DOWN HE GOES…

A little trivia: Did you know that Mount Sinai is about 7,500 feet high! Moses’ mountain climbing world record has never been beaten. Moses went up and down that thing eight times, trying his damnedest to keep everybody happy – God included – and look where it got him.

Still today, we seem to quickly forget or dismiss the fact that all humans are erratic and unstable screw-ups – every one of us! Moses, Aaron, and the Israelites were no exception. The Lord promised to love and care for them if they would trust him, follow the “rules”, and draw close to him. They were all about it for a millisecond – until the Lord got a bit too dramatic.

Anyway, when the Israelites saw the lightning and heard the thunder, they shrank back in fear. They ran from him to a safer place with shiny, mute, fake gods that they created themselves. They preferred distant respect over an intimate relationship: Out of reach, out of range, out of earshot.

Then, one day, as Moses was recovering from his mountain climbing adventures and feeling his age, he had an AHA moment! There had to be a better way for him to mediate between God and the Israelites from his recliner in a more practical way, less frightening, and less physical. He knew the Israelites would love it because they had already made it known they wanted to keep their distance from God, especially when they were despicable wretches deserving of God’s wrath. So, he had them build a big Box, later known as a “Confessional”. He hung his shingle out front and began the business of absolving sins. Brilliant! Never mind that not once did he run the idea by God!

Okay, fine, history tells us that is not how it went down. It was actually worse!

In his book, The Dark Box, John Cornwell tells us Pope Pius X dreamed it up. He wanted to have the reality of sin and damnation seared into the brains of every child by their first communion so he wouldn’t have to deal with the adult version of them. They were required to learn and memorize every detail of categories of sin and the appropriate punishment of Purgatory or Hell. And, yes, there would be a quiz at the end. That’s right; six-year-olds were introduced to the fear of hell that may have surpassed their fear of monsters under the bed. What fun!

I had my own AHA moment when I watched my kid’s classes full of six-year-olds go through that ritual. Deep down, I had to wonder what offense a child would possibly have to commit to rile God! It made no sense to me.

Cornwell tells us, “Many readers will be surprised to learn that prior to 1910, young children were not subjected to this rather terrifying information because they were deemed incapable of sinning in any meaningful way.”  

He adds that there was also the required annual confession for everyone else as well and that this requirement was “imposed, at least in part, by church leaders who expected priests to interrogate penitents and learn if they might be heretics.” Sneaky inquisitors – the lot of them!

Even today, we prefer admiration at arm’s length over a relationship God longs for. Like the Israelites, we want someone, anyone, to stand between us and God – what confession in a Box symbolizes.  

After my adult conversion, there was a period of time when I faithfully and fearfully adhered to the requirements of going to confession. Admittedly, I tried to disguise my voice or go to a different church.

So, I’m sitting – sorry – kneeling in the dark spewing all my wretchedness and waiting for the easy-peasy penance that every penitent receives, from grandma’s admission of missing one Mass in seventy years because she was in a coma, to abusive priests on their way to another assignment (ohhhhh, don’t get me started!).

The only difference seems to be the number of Hail Marys and Our Fathers required to clean the slate. Done. Then you’re off the hook till you screw up again, which was likely that same day for me. I kid you not, there were times I would ask God to take me right out of the Box – while I was all shiny clean – but please hurry!

Then, I quit “going” to confession. It happened when I realized that God isn’t interested in how many prayers we can memorize or if we meet our Hail Mary obligation. But rather, how sincere we are about changing and correcting our offenses.

I now long for intimacy that allows me to go straight to the source whenever I mess up. I don’t have to wait till Saturday between 3:30 and 4:45, and I don’t have to wait in line. And, bonus, I have never experienced one bit of thunder, lightning, or annoying trumpet noises!

I would like to end this post by sharing how three amazing people (and many more since) helped me along the path to a relationship with God: Brennon Manning, Thomas Merton, and Henri Nouwen. Sure, they were all qualified to hear confessions and dole out penance, but that is not how people change. Instead, seeing how they lived their faith helped me change how I live mine!

They professed to the world their failings AND their trust that they could draw close to God because His love is unconditional, merciful, and grace-filled. Because they believed that, so can I! They have all inspired me to long for that God!

One of my favorite quotes of Brennon Manning is, “To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side, and the dark. In admitting my shadow side, I learn who I am and what God’s grace means. Aristotle said I am a rational animal; I say I am an angel with an incredible capacity for beer.”

I can now profess that I am a paradox of misfitted pieces: I love and hate, forgive and hold grudges, and accept and judge others. At times, eager to give and other times, selfish. I can sing praises to God and curse the jerk who cut me off in traffic in the same breath. And on some really bad, terrible, horrible, dreadful days, I can be all those parts at once! 

So, the question before us is: Do we stay stuck at the foot of the mountain or go all in? Going all in is what St. Augustine meant when he said, “The glory of God is man fully alive.”

Unconditional Love: Learning to Love Through God’s Grace

by Linda Russell, posted in fruits of the Spirit, Uncategorized

LOVE

I Said I Loved You, But I Lied

Often the words, ‘I love you” are just that – words.  If I am married I feel obligated to tell my spouse. If I have children or parents, I should tell them, at least sometimes, maybe Christmas is enough, or Christmas and birthdays. Maybe I could just send a card or an email or text.

Can I beat my child or abuse my spouse out of “love”, for their own good? Many of us carry scars of past pain and hurt that play out in our lives today. I swore I would never be like my mother – does that sound familiar?

I recall one time in my life when my mother told me she loved me. It was in this context, “Now you know I love you or I wouldn’t ask you this question, are you on birth control?” I never heard her say it before or after, and I was twenty-two at the time.

Any time love is attached to something; when it is conditional, it is worldly; shallow, and indifferent. No one said loving others would be easy. If that were the case, Jesus would have either not come at all or would have lived to a ripe old age. He showed us how to love. God’s immense grace can help us love those that we find humanly impossible to even like – even ourselves sometimes.

Now here’s the key: I can learn to love only when I have accepted God’s love myself. Scripture says we love because he first loved us. I can’t give something I don’t have to give. I had nothing to give most of my life because it was only recently that I have grown to accept God’s love for me.

Know the Difference

Worldly love wears the sheepskin of an “if it feels good” mentality over the wolf that devours childhood innocence, destroys relationships, makes compassion a burden, and muddies the pure waters of selfless love that was created by God.

The love God created, “…suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely; does not rejoice in iniquity; but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Cor. 13:4-8)

God loves unconditionally. May you too know the depth of that love.

JOY

“Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth; break forth in song, rejoice, and sing praises.” (Psalm 98:4)

My response from my former life would have been something like this: “News flash, dufus, joy is the noise made by fools who don’t have a clue what is going on in the world. Have you missed the constant killing of innocent people? Wildfires, tornados, and floods?  Have you been in a coma or what? Am I finished, or are you still stupid!?”

All right, fair enough (no need to call me names). I actually do know about the horrors that have visited this world since the beginning of time. I also know about a man who suffered an indescribable death at the hands of those who wrongly accused him of a crime. He was beaten, tortured, spit on, mocked, and made to carry his own cross to a hilltop. Then he was nailed to that cross as many watched him slowly suffocate and die.

I know about men and women who followed him because they believed in him even though they knew they would suffer their own trials and the same fate: jail, stoning, torture, and death. Do you think for one moment they would have signed up for that if they were following a fool? There is a common thread in all of their writings and teachings: joy – sheer unadulterated joy in all their circumstances. Why? Good question. Here’s the answer….

They knew that the only way to bring nonbelievers to Christ was to live joyfully because no idiot would follow someone who spewed bad news on a regular basis. Cynicism is the devil’s tool to keep unbelievers away from Salvation’s door.

We are called to go and make disciples. How would that be possible if our minds and hearts are focused on ourselves and our misery, and not on Christ? Suffering has a purpose, and when you discover that truth for yourself, as I did after so many years, you will have arrived at a place where you can shout for joy and share the Good News with others. But if you live according to the flesh and have your mind set on things of the flesh, you will be a “clanging cymbal” (1Cor. 13:1) to those around you who will see Christianity as a joke. Why would any nonbeliever come to Christ if Christians are as miserable as they are?

Joy Is…The oasis of laughter in the desert of loneliness. It is a caring touch coming through the locked door of a broken heart. It is peering through tear-stained eyes into an empty tomb. Pain and suffering are temporary. Joy is eternal.

PEACE

  “Do you want to be made well?”

Can you imagine a doctor asking a sick patient that question?  “So, from all of our tests, it looks like you are gravely ill. Do you want to be made well?” Is this a trick question? Was it when Jesus asked it of the man who had an infirmity for thirty-eight years? (John 5:5-6)  No, and Jesus was serious when he asked me the same question, was I tired of shallow attempts and continual backsliding?

If I wanted true peace in my life, I would have to let go of the anger and lashing out. I would have to recognize the part I played in my misery, and I would have to release the people who were on the receiving end of all the pain and hurt that was bottled up inside of me. In public I was the picture of calm and peace; in private my life was out-of-control. It is important to understand that anger is not the underlying emotion; it is the outward expression of unmet needs.

The Antithesis of Peace

The Israelites were a perfect picture of what peace and contentment are not. Moses got them out of Egypt where they were being persecuted. Do you think they were singing, “Free at last, free at last” as they were escaping the brutality they experienced at the hands of the Egyptians? Or possibly praising God? No way.

They whined and complained about everything – and when they did, God responded. No water? God sent it.  No food? God sent it. Egyptians closing in all around them and God does that little parting of the sea. But they continued to bellyache. Moses was beside himself trying to keep them happy. How embarrassing it must have been for him to continually have to take their complaints to God. “Um…excuse me, Lord, I’m sorry to bother you again…”

I look back and wonder how difficult it must have been for others to live with my bellyaching and complaining. I wonder if some heads were shaking and eyes were rolling in silence. Did I turn some people away from God because there was no peace in my life? 

Yet, peace and contentment are not out of our reach. Granted it is not easy. You would think there would be nothing pleasant about the journey God brought me through as he was revealing my sins and healing my pain. When in actuality, I am blessed for all of those experiences that brought me closer to God and showed me a peace I could never have realized any other way.

One of Jesus’ final acts was to offer his disciples peace, and they were going to need it! “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.”  The world has never been at peace, and what passes for peace one moment changes the next.

Have you known someone in your life that just radiates peace?  Someone, that you seem to gravitate towards, not really knowing why?  You can be pretty sure that person is walking in the Spirit. And if you are wise, you will do everything, short of stalking them, to be in their company, to glimpse through them the very nature and essence of God, which is the very essence of peace. And then claim it for yourself.

PATIENCE

Today patience is a dinosaur, and if perseverance doesn’t come in a pill form, we aren’t interested. I want it now! I don’t want to feel it, I don’t want to deal with it. Give me another credit card, a pill, or a bus ticket out of here. A display of patience we might tolerate would be something like a gentle nudging to wait your turn; wait for your elderly grandmother to catch up; wait in traffic; wait for a phone call, and so on.  Just a small interruption in our daily routine.

But for such a small interruption, haven’t we seen people handle it as though it were a major life-altering event? A sales clerk puts you on hold. When she returns you blast her with, “It’s about time. I’ve been holding for 20 minutes!” Have you really? Most likely it was about 3 minutes, tops. Think of the times you have been impatient with someone. Was it really a major setback for you? Really?

Wanna know the original meaning of the word? It was likened to the suffering of Christ. It literally means to suffer and endure. If that is true then how much more would we react to the events in our lives that call for patience? How much more would be required to be in a relationship with someone who is unbearable or endure intolerable circumstances? But that is exactly what God requires when he calls us to patience; to suffer and bear the burdens of life.

We excuse ourselves when we fail to be Christ-like to others and yet we expect God to be all-loving, all-forgiving, and all-patient with us. “Well, God’s a bigger man than I am.”  So, you’re comfortable with that excuse are you?

Here, go ahead, water this one down:

“And do you think this, O man, you who judge those practicing such things, and doing the same, that you will escape the judgment of God?  Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering (patience)?” (Romans 2:3-6)

There you go. You can spin it, dance around it, ignore it, whatever – but you will not escape it. Truth is truth no matter how much we disagree with it because it doesn’t suit us.

But hold on, I have some good news for you. God doesn’t demand anything from us that he will not give us the power, his power, to achieve. So why is God so patient with us? God longs for us to trust in him. He longs to shower us with blessings and guide us through all the obstacles this world presents to us.

When I first began my walk with God I often found it very difficult to accept that he could be so patient. That wasn’t what I was used to, and I continually failed him.  I found it hard to turn to him because I was sure of what would be waiting for me when I went to him: The disapproval, the cursing, the spanking, the reminder that I was “bad”. But that was my experience with my mother.

Over the years, I had erected a wall that would keep others away from my heart. I didn’t trust anyone. Little by little I tested God’s assurances and found him to be loving and trustworthy. Whenever I hesitated I simply reminded myself of all the times he was faithful to his Word. That didn’t mean it was easy to change or to stand before him when I had sinned. But it did mean that I could trust him. His love was steadfast.

Am I a Stumbling Block to Others?

Patience is not a weakness or an excuse to sit back and proclaim that we are waiting on God. Persistence is the activity of patience; to be diligently at the work of changing for the sake of others; to be ever in prayer for the grace and strength of God to endure our struggles with other people and circumstances, knowing that they are in our lives for a reason.

KINDNESS & GENTLENESS

“Will you look at the way she struts around in that disgraceful outfit!”

“You idiot! Get out of my way!”

“I will never forgive you for that!”

What are the prejudices and injustices we perpetrate on others because of our pride, pious attitudes, and our forgetfulness of just how imperfect we are? I don’t like looking at so much of my ignorance in such a small space, but I have a story to share!  I call it…“The blessings we miss.”

Several years ago, I went to a funeral service for a dear friend’s father (I will call her Judy and him Bill). I knew the story. I knew enough that I even distanced myself from him when he was at Judy’s house.

Bill and his wife were long divorced, and his relationship with his daughters was strained at best. Some of them wanted nothing to do with him. Although Judy seemed to deal with it well, I knew he had hurt her, and that was cause enough for me to dislike him. Why should I bother?  It wasn’t like it mattered. But sadly, I would discover on the day of his funeral, that I was the one who was the loser. I missed a blessing.

After the funeral, everyone was invited to a luncheon. I couldn’t stay long so Judy and I decided to meet the next morning. As I was leaving the cafeteria, I found myself going against a stream of people. Who were they that they even stayed for the luncheon? Didn’t they have better things to do?

The next morning Judy and I met. I asked how the luncheon went. Tears began to flow down her face as she related one story after another. It seems she opened the floodgates when she thanked everyone for coming and encouraged anyone who was willing, to share stories about her dad. Well, they did. One stranger after another. The stories seemed endless of his concern for them and their problems. He was a good listener. He cared.

Wait a minute. If he cared so much, why was his relationship with his daughters so bad? If he cared so much why didn’t we know that? There is an explanation, and it is a huge part of the human condition. If we thought about it we could all probably call to mind at least one person in our lives right now whom we have distanced ourselves from because of struggles in our relationship. That person may be as close as our living room couch.

It hurts, and we are determined to stay focused on that hurt as long as it takes to make that person suffer. But, you know what? That person is a child of God just like we are. That person is broken just like we are.

Am I better, more perfect, without fault? No. The sooner I realize that the sooner I can get beyond the hurt. If I never do that, then one day, perhaps it will be me standing at the funeral. It will be me hearing stories from strangers about this person I never knew because I would not allow him to be anything other than the person who abused me as a child, who cheated on me, who stole something valuable from me, probably so long ago I quit trying to recall the source of my pain. But I haven’t quit hating him, or her, for it. How many times do we miss a blessing because we refuse to forgive?

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind” Brad Meltzer

GOODNESS

“Everyone feels benevolent if nothing happens to be annoying him at the moment.” C. S. Lewis

What is your definition of “good”?

  • One who hides behind the mask of “goodness”?
  • One who gets the “Saint of the Year” award.

And while we’re at it, let’s think about where we fit in this mix. I think I fell into the first category most of the time.

I learned a few tricks from my mother who was the master of masking. She was from the old school of, “what would the neighbors think?” When you walked out the door, you left the dark family secrets behind and played the game in public. She got caught one time though. I was a teenager, and our family went to the home of a man who was a youth minister and loved to engage people in conversations about family dynamics. He was very straightforward. He looked at my mother and me and asked, “Do you have a good relationship?” My mother’s rapid-fire response was, “yes”, and mine was, “no” as I walked away. It didn’t have a life-changing effect on our relationship, but I savored the moment.

Oh, the games we play; the lies we tell. But the real tragedy, I believe, is that we really believe we are faultless, even though our sins tell a different story. Goodness really doesn’t seem to be on the same scale as holiness, does it?  I think I could rationalize myself into the category of good, but I would have a tough time comparing myself to Mother Theresa, although I tried once…

I have to tell you this story. This is really pathetic and I shouldn’t, but here it goes. Many years ago, I went to a banquet. It was an annual event honoring the “Person of the Year”. As the evening began, first with dinner, then speeches, I secretly (this is really bad!) wondered if I was the nominee. Then came the time for the award. I was hoping I didn’t have spinach in my teeth or a run in my stocking (yes, we wore those!). The anticipation was building! The President of the organization stepped up to the podium and began speaking about the honoree. But, as she revealed, bit by bit, the litany of selfless acts and humility of this person, she was, at the same time, revealing my pride and arrogance. And the reality of it slapped me a good one! I really don’t recall all that she said, but I half-expect Mother Theresa to walk up and take the award, then thumb her nose at me on the way back to her seat. And I would have deserved it! God can humble us in the most profound ways.

How easy it is for us to consider ourselves good people, just because we exist. Maybe in the eyes of the world, it will do, but not if we call ourselves Christians.

As Christians, most of us really want to do good, but we are constantly in a battle. That battle is described in Galatians 5:17, “The flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh, and these are contrary one against the other so that you cannot do the things that you would.” True goodness is virtue that comes from God alone.

Galatians 6:9 says, “Don’t grow weary doing good.” People who are superficially good do grow weary because the game is a lot of work. Our true character is who we are when no one is looking. David Morsey once said, “The occasional good deed of the unbeliever no more reflects the Spirit of Christ than the occasional bad deed of the believer reflects the spirit of Satan.”

So the litmus test for goodness is how you treat that nosy neighbor, that crotchety checker at the grocery store…that you encounter when you are tired and grumpy yourself. How about that mother-in-law of yours or the boss who is a direct descendant of Attila the Hun?

Now comes the proverbial question, “Why should I?”  And the answer is?  Being good, especially to our enemies, can bring far greater rewards than treating them the way they deserve to be treated. Our returning good for evil may just bring that person to repentance. We are not talking about random acts here; we are talking about a daily, purposeful, and guided life of goodness. And if you still need convincing go back to the Cross for a reminder of what loving your enemy looks like. Now, go love that jerk  (oops…child of God).

FAITHFULNESS

 “Examine yourselves to see if you are in the faith; test yourselves.” (2 Cor. 13:5)

God’s faithfulness is steadfast, but what about ours? I will not tell you that I possess all wisdom and have vast theological knowledge because I don’t. So why would you care what I have to say about this subject of faithfulness? I can only relate to you what has brought me to a place where I know faithfulness means far more than I was ever willing to admit. That didn’t happen as a result of one miraculous event. No burning bush, no parting of the sea, no Lazarus-like miracle. Just a journey–a very long journey, to a patient and loving God.

Ray C. Stedman wrote an article about America’s Spiritual Decline”, “Pollster George Gallup has described America as richly religious but ethically impoverished. While religion is highly popular in America, it is to a large extent superficial; it does not change people’s lives to the degree one would expect from their level of professed faith. In ethical behavior, there is very little difference between the churched and the unchurched.”

How do we rationalize our indifference to the horror of what took place at Calvary?  Could it be that we trivialize Jesus’ suffering to make our meager sacrifices appear to be significant and our sins acceptable? Thus Jesus becomes a warm fuzzy, and we are off the hook.

“Take up your cross and follow Me.” (Mark 8:34) Oh boy, here we go. This is where we disconnect.

We know the kind of men the apostles were before Jesus died. They were a bunch of misfits. They couldn’t understand his teachings, and they argued for a coveted spot next to him when he ruled. They doubted, they questioned. They fell asleep when he asked them to pray with him, and they ran away when he was taken to be hanged. They may have scattered, but even from a distance, they all knew what was happening. They knew he was being tortured and crucified, and they knew they screwed up big time!

Just think of a time when you did something that you regretted. We all have. You replay everything you did over and over again. You know there is no way to justify it, and the shame is too much to bear. You will never be able to face your spouse, your parents, your boss, again. You can’t do it over, and you can’t change it.

A Second Chance

Now here they are in the Upper Room after Jesus is buried, eleven men lost in confusion and grappling with their weakness; their denial. We only think of Judas betraying Christ, but they were all guilty of betraying the One they once said they would follow to their deaths. But alas, he walks right through the wall of that room and stands in their presence.

Can you imagine the look on their faces?  The look of dread and fear is all over them. They’re gonna get it now. But what are his first words? “Peace to you.” (Luke 24:36)  There standing before them what they could no longer question, a God who truly loved them. When Jesus said, “Anyone who wants to take up his cross and follow Me, anyone who wants to suffer the same fate as Me, step forward.”  They did. All of them. There would be no turning back now, no running, no denying. The cock could crow till the cows came home and not one would falter, not this time. Why? What was different?

They had time to contemplate his incredible act of submission to the will of God. They were firsthand witnesses to the immensity of God’s love for them, and for a moment they were afraid they would never have another chance to make it right.

Now, most of us are not called to martyrdom. We are called though, to die to our own selfish, self-centered ways.  We are called to be different, to suffer if need be, as our suffering is the most powerful witness we can give to the reality of the risen Christ and to a faithfulness that accepts anything that comes our way in his name. We must stop asking, “Why me Lord” and accept our trials with a faith and trust that God is right there with us to turn our sorrows into joy.

SELF-CONTROL

Everything that Satan is behind—those worldly things that we call pleasure are really his skillfully disguised handiwork. That piece of chocolate cake that you couldn’t resist, the neighbor’s wife you couldn’t resist, the new outfit you couldn’t resist? What about those tiny indiscretions? What happens is that each time we justify the smallest sin, we become insensitive to the fact that it actually is sin.

Does Jesus speak to us about such things?  You bet He does. Here are just a few scripture verses, though there are many that speak to the issue:

1 John 2:15, “Do not love the world or the things in the world.  If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.  For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.”

For all those who have been deceived into believing that there is such an excusable thing as a “tiny indiscretion”, those are the lies of Satan and the lies I lived most of my life that kept me out of relationship with God.

While we are on the subject, we would do well to look at all areas that we excuse but God does not:

“Gossip isn’t murder”…unless you consider you are killing the dignity of that person you are talking about.

“Flirting isn’t adultery”…When you flirt you are not only tempting yourself, you are tempting the other person. It is dishonest and misleading. There is a very fine line between flirting and adultery. You just don’t want to go there.

“Everyone tells a little lie sometimes. Everyone cheats, it isn’t hurting anyone. Everyone steals something, usually something small that no one would miss; it’s not like you’re robbing a bank.” The bottom line is that all three of these acts are about deceit.

How do we get so confused as Christians when we can call evil “good”? I believe that we are confounded by what we see all around us. We have been lulled into a belief that there is nothing wrong with what we are doing. What has happened to our consciences? What has changed from the time when these sins we engage in daily would have been shocking in the past?

Leo Tolstoy, in his essay, The Lion and the Honeycomb, Why Do Men Stupefy Themselves? explains: “What people most want is not that their consciousness should work correctly; it is that their actions should appear to them to be just.” Clearly, it is easy for us to justify tiny sins.

Now let’s say you have determined that right this moment you are going to live the life God has called you to. You don’t care what your friends say or what other people think; you are turning over a new leaf. You ask him to forgive you, and you are on your way to sainthood, right? Not so fast. We make God promises that we can’t keep, and we’re convinced it’s because we are weak. Then we hate ourselves and are sure God hates us too. We have no control, no willpower, and no clue. It may seem I have just rained on your parade but bear with me for a moment.

Is your heart in a place where you don’t want to hear those awful words (after your bags are packed and you thought you had your ticket “Home”), of Matthew 7:21-23? “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven…and I will then declare to them; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.”

Well then, consider these words when you step on that path:

If you have run the gamut as I have, you would have amassed some serious battle scars trying to change and failing repeatedly. You will have thrown up your hands, thrown out the white flag of defeat, and thrown faith to the wind as you settled back into the life you recognize as comfortable. You have found it easier to live the life you are familiar with.

Holiness is for saints, I guess it wasn’t for me. It looks like the perpetual Monday morning diet doesn’t it? How can God say in 1 John 5:3, “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.”? Seriously? They seem awfully burdensome to us, don’t they? Why? Well, it’s really simple. When I tell you, you are going to smack your head and say, “Duh, why didn’t I think of that?”

Self-control is not self-alone! Granted, as Christians, we are called to be disciplined in our lives. Until we can give everything to God; until we can come to a place where we are “seeking the Kingdom of God first” (Matthew 6:33), we will repeatedly fail. Have you smacked yourself yet?

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER

Following Christ does take a great amount of discipline, and it is only possible through him. To everyone who is battle-scarred; whether those battles of life have only been skirmishes or if they have been “all-out, fight-to-the-death, take-no-prisoners” wars, take heed. This is not a once-and-done deal. We don’t make a one-time – this is it – I surrender – commitment, and then throw ourselves a party.

Living life as a committed follower of Christ, is a day-to-day, sometimes moment-to-moment surrender. If you think all your sinfulness will instantly be eradicated, you’re gonna fall hard, smack your loser head, and go join the circus.

Come back here. Don’t do that. Just fall on your bruised knees, seek forgiveness from a merciful and loving God, and start over. You can do this! God created you and equipped you to do this.