I’ve worked hard for that title, and I enthusiastically claim it! But that wasn’t always the case.
People struggle in life; that’s just the nature of our humanity. Then, we spend so much time and energy blaming everyone else for our pain: Parents, co-workers, despicable neighbors. We would rather go down in flames than admit to our own faults. I have to catch myself when I slip back there, more often than I care to admit.
How about those Israelites as an example? Follow their trail from captivity to freedom. God heard their cries for years. I’m not sure why he made them wait through a few generations before he responded. No doubt he had a good reason. But he finally did enlist Moses to go take care of it.
Remember that Moses was trying to live a quiet and unassuming life since that whole fiasco of him murdering an Egyptian and hiding the body under a pile of rocks. He was feeling pretty comfy until the day God jumped out of a burning bush and confronted him.
That’s what God was saving him for: “Pack up your stuff and go save the Israelites from Pharaoh.” Personally, I would ask for a detailed plan and surety of the outcome before committing. That probably comes from years of living with a merciless and demanding mother. In those God-calling moments, all I would see was an authority figure I never felt safe with or trusted. And my inner child would scream, “RUN, IT’S A TRAP!”
I suppose Moses could have had abandonment issues while he was floating in the river in that basket for however long that lasted. So he too, could have feared trusting God (there were no therapists back then to help him sort through his issues). That could also be why he shoved Aaron in front of him, trying to get God to send him instead.
Anyway, Moses wasn’t really keen on the idea of confronting Pharaoh and tried to get out of it. But God wasn’t having it. So he finally went…kicking and screaming. I think he was secretly excited when Pharaoh told him to take a flying leap: “See, God. He’s not budging. I’ll be going now.” But God stopped him in his tracks and had him watch as the Egyptians were pummeled with plagues… ten to be exact:
- Blood
- Frogs
- Lice
- Flies
- Pestilence
- Boils
- Hail
- Locusts
- Darkness
- Killing of the firstborn
At last, Pharaoh relented. His patience expended, he told Moses to get them out of his sight. All the while, Moses had his sandals and toothbrush packed and ready. So they all scurried out of Egypt before Pharaoh changed his mind. Which he did later, but God took care of that too.
Now the fun starts as they wander in the desert for forty years with no “Promised Land” in sight. Their story is strewn with whining and complaining at every turn: “There’s no water; this manna stuff sucks; my tent-mate snores.” Blah. Blah. Blah.How quickly they forgot how torturous their lives were in Egypt as they labored under cruel and unimaginable circumstances.
Fast forward to when they were tent camping at the foot of the mountain, eating beans and roasting marshmallows over an open fire, and singing cowboy ballads while they waited for Moses to come back down from his historical visit with God.
Wait, no, that’s the wrong scene. Sorry…
Anyway, surely you know the part of the story that made the Israelites stay put. Right?Bolts of thunder and lightning and God up close and personal. “No thanks! We’ll wait here.” They all gave Moses a high-five and an “ATTA BOY, you got this” pep talk. Then they waited at a safe distance. No doubt some bet on God pulling Moses into that burning bush. They just weren’t trusting any of it.
So let’s go back to the subject of us messy humans. Let’s not forget that Moses wasn’t the poster child for perfection. I mean, he did kill that Egyptian. And he did tell God “No” several times when he didn’t like his plan. And, he whined incessantly about the Israelites’ whining. Can you hear the “IT’S NOT FAIR!” mantra that must have droned on and on from all of them for FORTY. LONG. YEARS?
So, what about us? This is the point where we need to walk to the mirror, stare into it, and try our damnedest to deny that we do the same thing, over and over and over again. Come on, you know I’m right. We do it so often that it probably slips by our consciousness.
Okay, you sit there staring in that mirror if you want to, trying to excuse yourself to the God who knows better. I’m moving on. Though I’m not really sure how that’s going to work if I stay tethered to my past.
Letting go of the known, especially if it’s negative thoughts and feelings that serve no good purpose, is just plain scary. So often, we would rather stay right where we know what to expect than risk the vulnerability that is sure to accompany something new and uncertain.
Looking back, when I was being physically abused by my mother, as bad as it was, I knew exactly what she would do and could sometimes dodge the bullets, so to speak. It became so commonplace that it was almost a game at times. And when she tripped herself up, like the time she chased me up the ladder on our bunk beds and it fell backward, I probably felt a great deal of satisfaction. At least, until she got her hands on me.
Anyway, now that I’m adult(ish), I have no one to blame but myself if things go sideways, which, I believe, is how God intended it. Taking responsibility for our actions and cleaning up our own messes in the process is how we are called to live this unpredictable, often complicated life. But, make no mistake…God will never abandon us. NEVER. He will guide us and love our sorry souls through it all.
We fall down. We get up. We fall down. We get up. Welcome to humanity 101!
PASSION, PURPOSE & POOPYHEADS 