This post shares quotes from others I admire so much—those who may or may not have always had hope in God’s promises when the world was saying something very different. But they persevered, and so can we!
There are about 80+ Bible verses telling us not to be afraid! But here we are—afraid of what is happening in the world today—shutting ourselves off and preparing for the apocalypse. What I’m hoping is that we can all take a deep breath and get on with the business of abundantly living our lives and helping others to do the same.
Let’s start with Hebrews 10:22-23 (Msg), “So let’s do it—full of belief….Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word.” There’s nothing ambiguous about that.
Richard Rohr:
“We are energized by the hope of God’s promises. What gives us the energy and power to keep moving is the promise, the dream, the vision of what could be and what’s beyond the moment….they’re not always what we expect or hope for, and so God calls us a little further. This is the way that divine love stretches our hearts. God’s promises energize and expand the heart, deepening our capacity for life and our quality of being in this world. That’s what the promises of God do—lead us to the experience of deeper life.”
Desmond Tutu:
Dear Child of God, before we can become God’s partners, we must know what God wants for us. “I have a dream,” God says. “Please help Me to realize it. It is a dream of a world whose ugliness and squalor and poverty, its war and hostility, its greed and harsh competitiveness, its alienation and disharmony are changed into their glorious counterparts, when there will be more laughter, joy, and peace, where there will be justice and goodness and compassion and love and caring and sharing.”
Dan Rather:
“Let us hope that we stand up to those who would wreak havoc and death. Let us hope that we continue to try to find ways to lessen suffering so that violence doesn’t feel like the only option for those who are desperate. Let us never give up on yearning for peace.
The pull of our humanity is what gives us a reason to smile when we see what is good and beautiful in our world. But it also is what provokes such sadness when we know others are in pain. We need to hold onto both the good and the bad so we can hold onto each other. We need to remember all that we have in common as we try to cope with the difficult realities of life.”
Thomas Merton:
“We did not come here to breathe the rarified air beyond the suffering of this world. We came here to carry the suffering of the whole world in our hearts. Otherwise, there’s no validity in living in a place like this.”
Martin Luther King:
“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’
I have a dream that one day, on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood.”
Henri Nouwen:
“Hope is willing to leave unanswered questions unanswered and unknown futures unknown. Hope makes you see God’s guiding hand not only in the gentle and pleasant moments but also in the shadows in disappointment and darkness.”
I recently completed chaplaincy training for my church, making me a “certified” Lay Chaplain – yeah, me! My long-held desire to work with kids in Juvenile Detention will soon be realized.
During this celebratory moment, I had an encounter with someone that I did not see coming. When I excitedly told him about my graduation and plans to work with the kids, he said, “Oh, the bad kids”. Alrighty then – a remark from a “Christian” kid who wants for nothing.
That was the conversation that prompted this post. My immediate response to him was that there are no “bad” kids, just kids who have made bad choices, often in the midst of circumstances likely out of their control. I know those kids well, having been one myself. No, I was never in jail, but there were times I came close.
Over many years, I have worked with kids in varied ministries and jobs and have shared those stories in past posts. I’ll tell you about two that profoundly impacted my life:
It all started about forty years ago when I decided it would be fun to put together a youth group at our church. I wasn’t really “qualified” to lead a youth program, so I embarked on a three-year Youth Ministry Studies Program.
I came out on the other side, brought together some amazing young adults to help lead it, and it took off. It didn’t seem too intimidating. You know, “good” kids just having fun together and learning a bit about God at the same time.
I recall one incident during that time that deeply impacted me! Two brothers came. One of them, I’ll call him John, always seemed to be bored to death. I often witnessed his brother’s cruel remarks toward him in front of everyone, but this kid kept coming every week.
One time, we put our chairs in a circle for a discussion. John pulled his chair up outside the circle, slumped back, and folded his arms, signaling total indifference. Subtle but noticeable. So, I asked a question. A few of the kids responded, and then John responded. I said to him, “That’s a great answer, John. I would not have thought of that!” Then, he looked at his brother, smiled smugly, and pulled his chair into the circle. Subtle again, right? Until you know his story. Then you realize how profound that gesture was.
John’s family was a mess. His brother excelled in everything he did, and their parents often reminded him of his failings and how he should be more like his brother. His brother also jumped on that ridicule train and criticized him every chance he got. So, his seemingly understated act of pulling his chair into the circle was huge!
A few years later, I went to work for Youth-In-Need and met a kid who challenged my authority – which I wore as a badge of honor. – “Don’t mess with me, I’m in control here, kid!” I’ll call him Justin. God called him my teacher.
I don’t think Justin ever knew his real identity as a “beloved child of God”. It’s likely that no one ever told him that in his short twelve years of life. I lived that story for years myself, and I sometimes still fall back into a false belief that I’m not worthy.
Anyway, here he was at Youth-In-Need, where I worked as a glorified house-mom. Troubled kids came there just before they ended up in Juvenile Detention if our therapists couldn’t help them get their lives together.
Justin was always angry and pounding his fist on anything that didn’t pound back. On his worst night, we felt we had to contact the on-call therapist. I went downstairs to the office, called her, and explained the situation. She asked if I felt threatened. If I said “yes,” they would have sent the police to take him away.
At that moment, God reached into my exhausted and hardened heart and broke through my stubborn will to control. I told her “no,” I did not feel threatened and that it would be fine.
As soon as I hung up, Justin, who was listening at the door, burst into the office, still angry, “You gonna call the police?! Go ahead, I don’t care! I’m not afraid of you!” I told him that I was not going to call the police and to just go upstairs, get his shower, and go to bed.
Out of somewhere came the words, “And, Justin, if you want a hug, I’ve got one for you.” To which he quickly replied, “Yeah, right!” and slammed the door when he left. While filling out the incident report, I thought, “Yeah, right. What was I thinking?”
When I walked upstairs, he came out of the bathroom, clearly not angry anymore. He looked at me and asked, “Can I have that hug now?” I hugged that kid so hard, wondering if he had ever been hugged. Had anyone ever made him feel worthy of love?
Here is a beautiful quote from Father Gregory Boyle. Working with gang members in L.A. he founded and directs Homeboy Industries. “You stand with the least likely to succeed until success is succeeded by something more valuable: kinship. You stand with the belligerent, the surly, and the badly behaved until bad behavior is recognized for the language it is: the vocabulary of the deeply wounded and of those whose burdens are more than they can bear.”
Do you know how many Saints could also have been defined as “bad” kids? A lot! Here are just two that come to mind for me:
St. Moses the Black
Saint Moses was an enslaved Ethiopian in Egypt in the fourth century. He murdered someone, got kicked out of his master’s house, and became the leader of a band of murderers and robbers. After an AHA moment, determined to change his ways and repent of his sins, he attempted to enter a monastery and become a monk but wasn’t well received because the monks didn’t trust his sincerity. It took a long time to convince them that he had changed. They eventually accepted him, and he also was instrumental in the conversion of some in his former band of robbers.
St. Augustine
He was also a piece of work. Augustine described himself as a “very bad little boy.” He admitted to being full of anger, a liar, a thief, and a cheat!
We hear about his mother’s fervent praying for his lost soul, but they also had a terrible relationship. He was mean to her, and there was a two-year period when they didn’t speak to each other.
Augustine continued to struggle with his sins and passions even after his conversion.
So, there you go. We should never assume that any kid is innately “bad”, no matter their actions. Kathy Escobar reminds us to “look the outcast in the eye and remind them of their worth” because it is likely that no one has ever done that.”
I plan to take all of the God moments and lessons I’ve learned into the Detention Center every time I have the opportunity to love on the kids! Deep down, I want them to know that God will not punish them until they cry “uncle”. He won’t try to scare them into submission like so many of their parents or guardians likely did.
I want to say to all of them, “God wants to love you so fiercely that you will cry – with the joy of knowing you are his beloved, and there’s nothing you can do about it!” I want to help them sort through the kurfuffle they have likely dealt with all their lives. And, yes, I will use the word “kurfuffle” because they’ll love it! I’m going to laugh and cry with them. Then I’ll go home, thank God for another opportunity to love as Jesus loves, take a nap, and do it all over again and again – for as long as I can!
Who knows? Maybe I’ll be known as the kurfuffle-busting granny. They may invite me to their graduations, weddings, and baby baptisms!
And, finally – hopefully – when God’s plan for me has been fulfilled, and I stand before him, I will hear those magical words, “Well, Linda, what a ride, huh?! I will say you got on my last nerve at times, but kudos and well done my good and faithful servant! Oh yeah, and bonus, you can stop counting calories now!”
Joe Newman is 107 years old. Anita Sampson, who recently celebrated her 100th birthday, is Joe’s fiancée (you read that right). Joe said he has survived two World Wars, the 1918 Flu Pandemic, and the Great Depression. His advice after reflecting on all he has lived through? “Always look on the bright side. Don’t spend time worrying about what’s going to happen since what will happen will happen.” He says the coronavirus is just another event in his life and believes we should look forward to whatever time we have, be it years, weeks, or just days, and then hope for another one. Maybe work on those wedding plans – or not. (Anita has reportedly demanded a “Promise” ring by Tuesday, or she’s moving back to her own rocker!) But, for now, it’s nap time.
Since there are now so many American Centenarians, there have been several studies regarding these 100+-year-old folks. They all have survived so much. They have lived through misery, hunger, job loss, financial ruin, the loss of loved ones, and every imaginable heartache along the way. But that’s not the whole story. There are also beauty and blessings intermingled with suffering.
The most common and inspiring thread was just as I suspected. During the Depression, people who went beyond simply surviving learned to support and care for each other. They were generous with a few extra dollars, food from their gardens, and emotional support. Many discovered a deep well of strength and optimism that carried them beyond those tough times. They had a shared sense of gratitude, kindness toward others, and even a feeling of being blessed in the midst of unimaginable hardships. They learned acceptance of circumstances you cannot control. And hope – always hope.
Today they will tell you that happiness and fulfillment come from helping others; having a positive and optimistic attitude. Most have a strong faith and a deep commitment and passion for a cause beyond themselves. And now, here we are in the midst of one of our most difficult and challenging times, and our young people are suffering. What can we pass on from the wisdom of what is known as the Greatest Generation and our own life experiences?
I believe those of us who have not simply survived but, against all odds, have thrived during this screwed-up mess called human life are not finished yet. We have a calling, a responsibility actually, to share those experiences with younger generations in these desperate, seemingly hopeless times. We owe it to them. We have a treasure trove of stories I believe they are hungry for.
I’m not close to 100, except for those achy things that are the bane of my existence. But in my seventy-one years, I have learned so much about the ugliness and beauty of the human condition, about reality and resilience. I have experienced joy and sorrow, loss and pain and grief, and epic moments of delight and wonder and unexplainable joy. I hate and love, horde and give generously, fear and throw caution to the wind.
One moment I close in on myself, and another, I can open up with compassion and empathy for the brokenness that surrounds me. I’m a mixed bag of pride and humility. I can be your biggest fan or your most vocal adversary. I can be quiet and reflective or noisy and blow things up. I’m confusing, even to myself! I think that makes me human, albeit a very messy, bewildering human, like everyone else – if everyone else were honest. Anne Lamott says it beautifully, “Everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy, and scared. So there’s no sense wanting to be differently screwed up than you already are.”
(meme generator)
What we are dealing with today: a failing economy, children going to bed hungry, job losses, Covid, wildfires, hurricanes, racial tensions, protests, and violence in the streets is nothing new. But, all at once? Good Lord! Think about all those younger than us that have not lived long enough to feel any sense of hope for their future because they have not had much of a past to draw that hope from, and from the statistics, few of them have faith in God either.
I believe we are in the midst of our collective dark night of the soul, and there’s a double whammy for those younger generations that have not found religion, or even God, to be relevant. They have rejected a religion based on duty and obligation. No thanks.
Religion, as we have come to know it since the first century, has always been top-down and authoritarian. But that is not God’s way. He sent Jesus on a mission to show his steadfast, unwavering love to the lost and broken. I have openly admitted that I have given up on the Institutional Church, but I have not given up on God or my faith, which is couched in awe and wonder at the marvels of all of creation.
Jesus didn’t wander the streets playing whack-a-mole with anyone who didn’t follow the rules, memorize rote prayers, or tithe 10%. When he said, “follow me”, he didn’t mean act virtuous, he meant be virtuous. Be kind and gentle and caring to your brothers and sisters that suffer life’s cruelties. Consider these verses: Jesus touched the blind man (Mark 8:22), he touched the deaf and mute man (Mark 7:33), he touched the leper (Matthew 8:3). The gentle, compassionate, loving touch of Jesus is what we are called to emulate.
I’m not gonna lie, it can be scary! Reaching out will require some risk and could result in ridicule or rejection from others. Hum…isn’t that what Jesus accepted to his death? Do you think for one moment that Jesus or the countless martyrs throughout history went to their deaths for a bargain-basement god? Would you?
Surely God put wisdom and gray hair together for a reason. Like Esther, we were made for such a time as this. People are scared and hurting. We have been there and hopefully have experienced the love and healing power of God. Every life has a story, and those are stories that must be told. If your story begins and ends with you, we all lose a bit of God’s glory.
So, what is your story? How have you overcome hurt and pain? How have you hurt others? How have you prevailed over life’s disappointments? How do you find joy and peace in these trying times? I Peter 3:15 tells us to “always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope.” Are you ready?
People today, especially young people, are living out of fear instead of the abundance of life God has promised each of us. What we fail to understand is that it isn’t God being the mean, authoritarian father that is holding back on us. It’s us holding back. It’s us not believing our story matters. I truly feel this is a remarkable time for us old folks who are still hanging around to get ourselves off our rockers and into the fray. Why should we bother? Do they even want to hear from us? Well, you decide:
Let’s focus on what young adults (ages 18-25) are dealing with in this frightening and uncertain time:
Jeffrey Arnett, a psychologist at Clark University, says, “The pandemic struck students at a particularly vulnerable age.” He explains that this is “a time of life when many different directions remain possible, when little about the future has been decided for certain, when the scope of independent exploration of life’s possibilities is greater for most people than it will be at any other period of the life course.”
So, picture these young people that have likely never before experienced even one of the many crises we’re facing today. They have had their certainties about life jerked out from under them without any warning.
Perhaps there is a glimmer of hope. In one study, young people said they were empowered by forming connections, but they admitted they did not always know how to form them. Psychologists at the University of Manchester have found another factor critical to young adults’ resiliency — the strength of their social bonds able to provide them with the support needed to weather the worst storms. Check this out for inspiration: https://www.nunsandnones.org/
So, as their lives seem to be falling apart, that leaves a huge gap to be filled, a gap between their current reality and hope. And that’s where God can use us to step in if dancing in the midst of tragedy is our specialty. There, of course, is a hurdle to jump first (not that God isn’t the world’s best hurdle jumper!). They don’t think much of religion or God or the pain of Judgment Day…..Ohhhh, don’t get me started on “God’s gonna-take-you-to-the-woodshed on Judgment Day”! Let’s quickly move on…
A study from National Catholic Reporter asks: “Why are young Catholics going, going, gone?” Since we know it’s not just Catholics that have left their faith, this is very telling for all young adults that feel disenfranchised and left to their own devices to find their way. “Whether it’s feelings of being judged by religious leaders who don’t know or understand them, or being forced by their parents to attend church, or witnessing the sexual abuse scandal and the hypocrisy of church hierarchy, young people are expressing a desire both to break free from organized religion and to be part of a community. As emerging adults continue to navigate a difficult period, it is crucially important that they are able to maintain wellbeing and seek support where needed from those around them.”https://www.ncronline.org/news/parish/study-asks-why-are-young-catholics-going-going-gon
“Belonging before believing” may be the key to all of this! The Institutional Church teaches “rules” necessary to live as a “good” person of faith is expected to. That rigid voice has become old and tiresome, void of meaning and purpose. It cannot address the longing of a soul that knows deep down it belongs to something bigger, something more.
Where do we see in any of Jesus’ teachings to the masses gathered everywhere he went that he stopped mid-sermon for an alter call? “Look, guys, we know you’re hungry after walking for miles and sitting here in the heat for hours. The food trucks won’t be coming any time soon…BUT…we’ve got fish! Come on up and get yourselves saved, and you get some!”
Years ago, when I was a youth minister, one of the most basic truths that I grew to understand about human longing and relationships came from one statement, “I don’t care how much you know until I know how much you care.”
I didn’t have any idea what I was doing when I first got some teens in our church together to start a youth group. Truth be told, I was probably needier than they were, but I sincerely wanted to give them a place to gather, safely question anything about their faith (when Father wasn’t within earshot), serve the community, and have fun. Granted, I suffered the pains of having an A.D.D. brain that called into question my “fly by the seat of your pants” leadership style. More than one parent informed me how unorganized I was – thank you very much. Of course, they were too busy to help.
But here’s the thing: not one of the kids walked away because a meeting was rescheduled due to a bit of forgetfulness by one flighty adult. Not one kid complained when said flighty adult was the only one who thought an icebreaker consisting of sticking life savers on someone’s face was funny. I still think that one’s funny! But, oh well. (Note to self: teenager = insecurity. Got it.) They forgave my every misstep as we all learned together. Why? Because they knew I loved them. That’s it. That’s all that mattered…well…except that I made some badass cookies!
I recall a young pastor we had, new out of seminary. He came to a meeting one night and later complained that there were only ten kids there. So, why did we bother? I didn’t see that one coming and had no reply for him until a few days later. I invited a therapist to come speak to the kids about suicide: how to recognize it and what to do if they suspected a friend was at risk. One of the “just ten kids” at that meeting called me a couple of days later to thank me – like sobbing thanking me – for having her there. He got her phone number afterward and called her because he was contemplating suicide. They began therapy sessions with his mom. I still get teary when I think about that.
We all have life’s most critical and basic questions that need to be answered if we are to live fully the lives we were meant to live. Who am I? Why am I here? What is God’s purpose for me? Are you someone that can help young people answer those questions? You can, you know, just by being present to them, listening to them, and trusting God. Knowing he has already given you all the tools you need to fulfill your own destiny – you can now help them do the same.
Okay, I can’t speak for everyone, but it certainly applies to me!
My adventures into the great unknown – better known as graduate school – began just as it ended three years later. My initial question, “What am I doing here”? – morphed into my final, most profound, and current question, “Really! What am I doing here”?
There I was, barely a high school graduate, with just a bit of junior college and a whole lot of “know-it-all” religion, running headlong into theological studies. Fortunately, at the outset, I agreed to allow God to have his way with my pebble-sized faith and my Goliath attitude. He wasted no time. From my first class to my last exam, God pelted me with enough “what ifs” to render me stupid. “Linda, what if some of the stories in Scripture aren’t “factual”? What if I don’t have a beard? What if heaven’s not a “place”, eternity is here and now, and my “church” includes everyone – even those you don’t like? How’s your faith holding up so far?”
My faith was black and white, and it seemed so simple. In reality, “religion” may be, but true faith is hardly black and white, yet, paradoxically, it’s simpler. For example (here’s the moron in me): I had a long list of people who were destined for hell. Not specific names (well, okay, I had some), but rather, specific attitudes and actions that qualified. To be fair, I myself slipped on and off that list all my life for not following the “rules” – even when I didn’t know what the rules were!
Reality tells me that things are not what they seem and only God can know what is in the heart. My neighbor may seem like the jerk of all jerks, but only God knows him well enough to decide that. I Samuel 16:7 says, “For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” God may very well agree with my “jerk” label of someone, but he says in no uncertain terms, “He may be a jerk. But he’s MY jerk, so lay off”!
In my first semester at Aquinas, I encountered the infamous St. Augustine, considered one of the greatest philosophers and theologians of all time. At the end of his life, he decided he was an idiot and didn’t know what he was talking about (see, I’m in good company!). So he quit writing and speaking. It didn’t take me that long. I’m sure God is still rejoicing over that!
Fortunately, deciding you are a moron early on has some unforeseen benefits:
You no longer have anything to “prove.”
“Rules” transform into possibilities.
You encounter the living Christ, in the here and now – not the long ago, far away, dead and buried – thus rendered irrelevant and easily dismissed, Jesus. Nice guy though.
Righteousness gives way to solidarity with all your brothers and sisters in faith, or no faith at all.
Unknowing looks more like wisdom than stupidity.
Humility flourishes. Acceptance of self, of God, and of others is borne of true humility.
Loving relationships carry no conditional baggage.
Faith and trust in a loving, extraordinary God are now actually possible.
And finally, you can live in this messy, sometimes violent, darkened world, with a sense of hope.
Lord knows I don’t have all the answers. “As a matter of fact, I do know that, Linda!”
Actually, I probably don’t have any answers. But I now know that my only source of grace and hope lies in the mystery of a God that holds it all together, and holds us gently and lovingly in his embrace.
Now I can say with great conviction, “I am a deeply loved moron”!
PASSION, PURPOSE & POOPYHEADS 